I wish you all the luck on 7 AF days. You deserve to succeed.

Hi BTDT

Good luck for the 7 days AF. I know you can do it - you have before. Thanks for your support.

Cheers
Sticky

Hi, BTDT, I just wanted to call in and thank you for your thought provoking comment in my introduction thread.

Curious,

I'm not anti-TSM but the risks are real and, in my case, seem to outweigh the benefits.

Best of luck with your decision. BTDT

Hi everyone,

Well today marks 7 months with TSM. I wish I could say it has been successful but this hasn't been the case. I do generally drink less with the nal but my behavior while drinking is very alcoholic still. I have struggled to get my one week AF and my drinking has been getting more and more questionable...

Just over a week ago I went on a 4-day round the clock binge (with my nal) where I drove drunk and ended up in a fender bender. I also neglected my kids for days and kept them home from school because I hardly left my bedroom except to go get more wine. I've had two minor car accidents while doing TSM.

Prior to TSM, I was mostly abstinent for the better part of 24 years with periods of complete abstinence of 7 years and 4.5 years during this time. When I would drink, I wouldn't drink for long and always came back to abstinence as my goal. With TSM, I've given myself permission to drink and I have done so for most days during the past six months. Ive tried to take time off drinking but it has been very hard for me to get many AF days.

After my 4 day binge, I scared myself and my family enough that I focused on complete abstinence and was able to go a whole week AF. It wasnt really that hard but I left the door open and, with TSM in mind, I drank again on Wed. This led me into a 2 day binge which included drinking and driving, poor parenting and a wicked hangover

As much as I would like TSM to work, I cannot keep playing Russian roulette with my addiction. I fear something terrible is going to happen. In order for me to truly be successful at abstaining again, I will need to say goodbye to TSM and this board.

It is too hard to stop while I keep the door open on drinking.

I can say my AF days were great. I didn't suffer from the intense physical cravings on those days. I just think the habit and psychological addiction are still there and I need to work through these without continuing to give myself permission to drink.

I will update my chart later today and post it before I sign off.

Best of luck to all, BTDT

Updated chart...

I totally understood your point, and I appreciate your making it, I need to see TSM from all angles.

I'm sorry that you are finding things difficult.

Wishing you good things!

C

Curious,

There isn't a generally accepted time to stop that I know of. Most folks who progress stay with it indefinitely. Since i have been here, I've only known a couple of folks who stopped AND shared their decision on the board. The people i am thinking of were not getting results and were suffering. Most folks see results in the 6-12 month range.

It is possible that this is the "dark before the dawn" but this type of uncertainty is one of the challenges of TSM. You don't really know until you achieve results and the in between is quite a roller coaster ride. The only way to know how it will work out is to continue...

Truth is my best TSM days were my non-drinking days. No nal side-effects, no hangover, no regrettable incidences If my 7 months with TSM gives me greater success with not drinking I will be very happy!!! I don't want to dissuade you or anyone else from considering TSM, it works well for many...Im just sharing my personal experience.

Take care, BTDT

Hi BTDT

Sorry to hear TSM has not worked for you. Just want to wish you all the best with abstinence. As you know there are lots of great supportive people in AA. You have had long periods of sobriety in the past and you will again.

Take care of yourself & thanks for your support.

Cheers
Sticky

Oops, I see that you saw my post before I changed it I felt such a strong need to say something helpful or supporting, and then I thought: shut-up, you don't know what you are talking about, so I changed my post...

I did read several pages of your progress though, and despite the fact that you seem disappointed in the quantity you are still drinking there does seem to be improvement in the "quality" of your drinking experience. I don't know if my impression helps you but I thought I'd share it.

You said your biggest trigger is your husband's absences, would it be fair to translate that to anxiety? Have you ever taken anything for that? I've been reading a lot about Baclofen here. Wort's first post in his combined Baclofen and Naltrexone progress is very interesting, it might be something to think about... ?? People who search the tranquillising effect of alcohol possibly don't do as well on Nal as those of us who look for the buzz- binge drinkers.

Finally, I read that you have a lot of AA experience, do you apply the sobriety tools using TSM? For example, eating before you drink?, drink soda, eat ice cream etc... maybe if you do all these things before you drink and after you take your nal, it might reduce the need/quantity/pleasure to drink, drink anyway for extinction, but perhaps you might find you are not drinking as much... ?

And finally, do you know why your husband's absences make you so anxious? What are you afraid of/worried about? That you can't cope with the house and kids? that you miss him too much? that you'll make mistakes in his absence and he'll be cross when he comes home? That he will come home and you'd rather he stayed away?. That he might die or be injured in an accident abroad? ...?

Can you change anything in that scenario? have you any control over it? can you change how you react to it?

I am just throwing suggestions and questions to perhaps give you some food for though, fresh ideas, I don't expect you to answer me, as they are very personal questions. I'm just trying to help.

C