I sure hope this works. I will use this board as my journal for my TSM experience. I hope this will help not only me but anyone else who may see this in the future.

My story. I am in my very early 40s. There is alcoholism in my family. Good Irish background with my Grandpa, Uncle, cousins, and myself definitely alcoholic. I honestly never drank until I was 23. I was a very successful student, athlete. Married the perfect woman, 4 great kids, great job.

Sometime around 5-7 yrs ago my drinking became a serious problem. Became more frequent, then every day. Tried to switch from scotch to beer, take nights off, but it never lasted. Quit for 14 weeks in a row one time. Last year it got real bad. Habit was 10-15 vodka mixed units a night...more on weekends and holidays.

I got in a huge rut. My blood pressure went through the roof, some embarrassing moments passing out at family functions, and an inability to not drink each night. I was able to get through the workday without drinking, but I was going to hit it hard every night. Finally confided in my doctor, got some counseling. I went on Antibuse, but drank right through it somehow. Then after a panic attack and heart scare, went to emergency and ended up on Ativan (Lorazipam). That worked for a while, until I drank through that and ended up hooked on Ativan and alcohol.

In July, I checked into a full time rehab program. 28 days based on the 12 step recovery of AA, and got off of all my drugs. I tried to buy right in - my uncle and cousins have stayed sober with AA. I went to 3-5 meeting per week, had a falling out with my Sponsor, and quit going to AA. I have been able recently to drink only a couple of days a week, but each night i drink is a 15 unit binge.

I stumbled across the Alcoholic Cure book over the internet on March 7th. It seemed to be too good to be true. I was so excited about maybe actually fixing my brain and resetting it to my pre-drinking state, that I had to try this. My wife is excited, as am I. I went to my doctor, talked him into giving me 120 50mg pills of Naltrexone, and here I go. I did not dare tell him I was going to deliberately drink while on it and try this method.

I would really appreciate any support and friendships that I can make online here.

One of my fears was that I was only drinking 1-3 times per week recently. I am afraid that if I drink on this drug I will spiral out of control. I have been told to only take the drug on days that I am drinking and that is what I plan to do. Any advice and support will be greatly appreciated. I will continue to journal here on an almost daily basis.

Began drinking with Naltrexone four days ago.

Day 1: I took 25 mg and then went back to my vodka mixed with soda. I had read that the first two nights, I should take 25 mg and then take 50mg when drinking. Had about 5 units. Then stopped and went to bed. I could not believe that I could stop. Felt the intoxication, but not the incredible pleasure, or the intense irrational drive to drink to pass-out. I felt like I used to feel when I drank a lot 15 yrs ago. I was filled with hope that Naltrexone might work for me. My reading suggests that it doesn't work for about 10-20%.

Day 2: I took 25 mg again and drank. Drank many more units, probably 10-12. However, I seemed to be much less driven to drink. Definitely was not feeling the pleasure high like usual.

Day 3 (Last night): Took 50 mg. Drank 10-12 units again. Even though that is a lot, I had the presence of mind to stop around midnight, dump out my last drink and take a big glass of water before bed. I used to be able to make sure that I took a big drink of water before finally collapsing into bed. The last couple of years, I have never had the presence of mind to do that. Just passed out on the couch or woke up in bed. I found myself full of hope that the medicine and method will work for me. I sure feel a lot different drinking with this stuff.

Day 4 tonight. I had planned to sit out today, but around 6pm, I felt a craving coming on and I took a pill to be cautious. Went to a movie with my kids, totally sober. Came home around 9:30 pm and poured myself 4 units in a huge glass mixed with juice and carbonated spring water (vodka) - this has been my drink of choice. I feel much more 'normal' in my reaction to the booze than the other couple of nights. I will update my final total tomorrow morning.

The book said Naltrexone+drinking=cure. So I drank tonight. I am on a week holiday, so part of me (the addictive voice) is telling me that I might as well have a Naltrexone and drink almost every day, if it is supposed to chip away at my problem in my brain.

I guess what I want to ask the TSM veterans on this site, is should I fight my will 3-5 times per week and try not to drink that often? Or should I just drink anytime I feel like it, but just make sure to have the meds at least 1 hr before?

Thanks for any support.

Welcome JDog, your story sounds like a familiar one. Each drinking event is an extinction session so as crazy as it sounds each session works to rewire your brain. That said, you get just as much extinction from drinking 5 drinks as 15 without all the fallout. So if you have strong cravings take naltrexone and drink but try to keep the numbers down as best you can. Your family has likely been through a lot and passing out on the couch for the next 6 months while this works won't help matters. If your cravings are not strong by all means don't drink. One last thing, the formula is naltrexone+drinking+patience=cure or regained control. The patience part is important because this can take longer than 3 months. In my case my cure took 8 months. We're about the same age and both of Irish heritage. My drinking history is a little longer than yours, having started around 15 or 16 but serious binging began at 18. Welcome, read as much as you can, post as much as you like and get well. You are not alone and this does work.

Thank you for the post Saint Vincent. I drank too much last night (12 total). Funny that I sleep much better on Naltrexone than I did without it. I intend to do a AF today.

Hi JDog,

Your report is a very familiar one. Most people when starting out, including myself, have gone through a pattern of thinking, questioning and seeking answers. Am I doing the right thing? Is this feeling I have normal on this stuff? Oh no I drank too much! Is this really going to work??? If your feeling anything different from taking the Nal, then it means its having an affect on you.

All I can say is, even months into TSM I had a couple very bad experiences, I could put them up with some of my worst experiences pre-TSM. But I kept following the successful formula Nal+1Hour+drink= some place alot better. Its funny, for a scientifically based program, it takes a steady dose of persitant faith. Faith that if you keep following the formula for success truely good things will happen. The truth is there is documented scientific evidence that this works. Faith in science? And so I persisted.

In my opinion, at this early stage I would not "fight" anything. We have all been down that path and we know who the winner is going to be everytime. Keep in mind, that TSM is a way to deprogram your alcohol brain by killing triggers that lead you to wanting a drink. Extinction. There will come a time when you just get used to saying no, and your ok with it (eventually you may not even think about it for weeks at a time). Until that time, what you may want to get used to is cutting yourself off at a certain amount of drinks. But don't beat yourself up if you go past the levels you set. You will have easy times and hard times doing this. You'll start gaining control sooner or later. The point is, it will happen.

When I first started, TSM was my ticket to drinking without quilt. Because I was curing myself. Funny how TSM actually tricks your addiction while your addiction is tricking you.

Just keep in mind, no matter what your goals are or your desired results are from TSM, whatever comes will be better than what you have now.

You could keep questioning whether whats happening to you is normal, and if you should do this or that, but what it comes down to is, the only thing you SHOULD do and what is NORMAL is you taking your Nal atleast an hour before you drink, and remain persistant and consistant until you see the light at the end of your addiction tunnel. This could be at the 3-4 month mark, or the 2 year mark.

I hope Im not coming across condescending or negative in anyway, I guess what Im trying to say is take your TSM seriously, but try not to put too much worry in to it.

I am fully confident that your Happy Hour will come soon enough.

Keep on pushing, and welcome to a great resourceful community that you can draw on any time,

hap

Welcome JDog! I can relate to everything you are saying-everything! You made mention in one of your posts that 10-20% don't respond to TSM and I can relate to your fears that you will be one of those numbers. But as the book points out many of that 20%didn't follow the program for various reasons so it is probably not a real accurate representation of TSM's failure rate. And always remember the odds are overwhelming with you. This has been a very bumpy ride so far for me but I am seeing small improvements and feel confident I will be successful like so many others on this board.
Best Wishes, keep posting and follow the formula Nal+Al+patience=Control

JDog-
good to have you on board.
i will be following your progress.
i am in week 6 or 7 right now and trying to stay patient and not over think it.

Welcome. I am also at the questioning stage, but i have to believe that this is going to work. Everyone says don't think too hard through the first 2-3 months. Just take your NAL 1 hour before drinking and let the process unfold. That is where i am, i am not going to cave. I will see this process through, no matter how long it takes.

Thanks for all the replies of support. I will also be following all of your progress.

Felt a little sickly all day and my head was a little foggy. I have my vodka in the house (I usually try to keep as little on hand as possible - harm reduction. I usually drink all that I have.)

No desire to drink at all today. Not sure why. Like I said earlier, I have been drinking 2-4 times a week recently, but normally after 4 days in a row, I would be dying for one. This is the first time that I have had liquor in the house and not drank in at least 4 yrs. No desire today at all, so I am going without the NAL.

Good night all, and all the best to everyone.

Hi JDog,

Welcome to the board and congratulation on starting TSM. Like you I stumbled upon the Cure book on the net 6 months ago and the method has changed my life completely. I agree with all the previous posts about having patience with the method. This forum is a great tool for sustaining patience. When I had a wobble or a set back I was always able to find a post on the forum by someone who had had a similar experience at some point in their journey and this kept me focused. The forum will give you much more realistic expectations than the book on the timescales involved and some of the hurdles you may need to cross. My only other advice would be keep track of your numbers, I think this is such a key part of the process. Some weeks it is hard to write the numbers down when you know they have gone up or you have had a binge but logging low numbers starts to become a real motivator to control drinking once you reach the stage where craving are reduced and any residual drinking is habit driven. The good news is that from the nature of your posts it sounds like you are responding to the Nal. A lot of people on here who have had success report that the special 'glow' of drinking is missing from the first time they took the pill. All the best with the method and post often.