I am starting a new thread so that the title is more appropriate. My first two weeks are charted in "Help! Has anyone gotten over strong side effects?"
I did get over the side effects after 2 weeks, but they were pretty strong while I had them. I also had the honeymoon period where my drinking fell to half of what it was. I'm on day 16 now, and I guess I can say that the honeymoon is over now, because I totally mortified myself last night.
I think I have always been praying that something like this didn't happen, and now I am not sure what to do about it, but AA as self-punishment is crossing my mind. For one thing, I just drank like a house on fire last night --I was at home with my husband. I can't even remember anything after for 3 or 4th glass of wine, but my brother and his wife called and I took the call. My tee-tottling, ultra religious brother and his wife, that is. And I passed out while on the phone with them. O. M. G. I could die. And I have no idea how far the consequences of this are going to go, but I bet they are not going to be fun (calling the entire family, intervention, etc.)
My drinking has been so controlled since taking nal that this totally took me by surprise. I think I drank more than I almost ever have -- 6 or 7 glasses perhaps?
St.V's cautions that this would happen were certainly accurate. Do I now need to be worried that I will drink like a fish whenever I drink? I don't think I have done anything really life-wrecking before this, and now I've done a doozy. I'm scared.

Hi Amy. I had a few nights the first several weeks where I drank as much or more than I ever had, and felt terrible - both guilty and hungover. Other than those 2 times, my drinking has been way down, and way different. When I started TSM, I told my wife what to expect as I understood from this forum, and she kind of got out of my way those nights. I hope to never drink like that again, but it IS part of the process. I have read here that a "binge" like that is usually followed by a drop in units. That was what I found to be true. I had a little rise in my units the last week and hope it doesn't last long. I am still WAY below what I was drinking
pre-TSM and I have much more control.
BTW, maybe a little lie wouldn't hurt, some people have been known to have reactions to medication while drinking causing the "impression" of extreme intoxication! ie benedryl, perscription pain killers, cold medicines etc.
Keep taking your NAL, and with good results, soon this will only be an old "I can't belive I did that" memory.
Dave

Agree with everything Dave says. Hang in there, it's a long process.

Hi Amy - Your post gave me that "pit" feeling in my stomach. Oh gosh do I relate. We all do. So sorry that happened to you. When I first started Nal+Al my reactions were entirely unpredicatable from day to day. Some days I would drink next to nothing and get drunk and other days I would consume more than usual and stay sober. It is part of the early process. Also, it is so true that your drinking will spike at first. I remember when mine did and I felt very disheartened. It is so good that you posted here so you can get the support you need as we all totally understand that you had no intentions of doing any of that. Like Dave said, maybe a little white lie would be good.

Thanks, IAMDAVE, minneapolisnick and Half a glass for your responses. Your support is vitally important to this process. Regarding my fiasco with my brother, I have not addressed it and kept my head down, but now I know I might act like a freak and I am being cautious about what and where I drink as a result.
This past week was unexpected, that is for sure. I drank a lot more once the side effects wore off and I'm back to feeling like I want to drink, as opposed to like I could leave it like last week. Some days it seems like I can really feel that I drank, and other days, I have no hangover.
I guess we all hope that it will be quicker/easier for us, but I hear you now, loud and clear, this is a process and I have to remain focused and hopeful. I re-read Dr. Eskapa's book, and that and these posts are what kept me going on TSM.
I think that the other thing that has happened this week is that I started to face the fact that maybe I am an alcoholic. I think that I have tried to tell myself that I am just someone who drinks too much or more than she wants. But based on passing out while on the phone with my brother (who is the last person on the earth who would understand), I may have to face the fact that I am an alcoholic. For some reason accepting that label makes me so sad. Stupid, huh? I mean, would I be here if I weren't?

Hi Amy,
Interesting that you started TSM before admitting you were an alcoholic. Sounds like you have admitted that you are an alcoholic, but don't like that name. I don't like it either, it as some ugliness to it. Saying you are an alcoholic is not like admitting you are just like all of the alcoholics you have met. Think of it like diabetes. There is no ugly image of a diabetic, nor do we expect them all to behave the same. We are all guilty of the ugly drunken behavior that goes with alcoholism. Your embarrassment about the situation shows that you have never let your addiction allow you to justify this type of behavior. This is good. Shame is an alcoholic emotion...not letting the shame change your future behavior is giving in to alcoholism. Stick to TSM, record your units, keep yourself safe. There are responsible ways to manage this process. Start later in the day, when you are at home. Drink nonalcoholic beverages between drinks. Buy an alcohol breathalyzer and keep yourself aware of how drunk you are. Do not drive or use the phone if you have passed the legal level. SLOW down when your level gets high. Telling myself I need to stop at a number does not help me, but forcing myself to slow down and take a break really works for me. Go to bed at a reasonable hour too.


GOOD LUCK!

Hi Amy - Thanks for your post. Yeah, saying you are an alcoholic is tough. I still can't tell anyone else that I am but I can admit it to myself.

What an excellent suggestion 4bal. I am going to do what you said, get a breathalizer. Wow, if I had just thought of that myself a few years ago I would have saved myself a lot of embarrassment.

Hi Amy, I can sympathise with you re admitting to yourself that your are an alcoholic. I am sure none of us ever aspired to become alcoholic but we did become one. I remember feeling quite distraught and like an absolute failure when I admitted it to myself. However I now accept it as my reality and as part of my mortal frailty. Admitting to yourself is a very positive step forward because its only when you face your own reality that you can truly move forward and address it. Otherwise you keep going around in circles. I totally agree with 4abl in that alcoholics aren't all the same. Unfortunately though that stereotype is still held by some people so if you decide to talk to other people about it be selective in who you chose to confide in. Best of luck Amy

I won't admit that I'm an alcoholic to anyone but myself. I don't want to wear the label or the judgements that come from people who don't understand. I'm not into the AA thing at all, but for people who need support from people who have been there and won't judge them - it can be a good environment - but only if you buy into the 12-step/abstinence is the only way.

For now, TSM is not mainstream, so no face-to-face support meetings, just online. Maybe we should change the forum to TSMA

For years I didn't consider myself an alcoholic either. I had a good job and home and no problems with law enforcement or relationship problems... But I was still drinking 15 a night on Friday and Saturday, minimum... Unfortunately, society has accepted the AA model for alcoholism, which essentially blames the victim. We are "morally incapable of telling the truth" and therefore our weak mind is to blame for our problems. Society has implicitly accepted this non-sense by adopting the AA model and unfortunately, this thinking creeps into our own feeling of self-worth. I reject AA out of hand but still I know that subconsciously at least, I blame my own moral failings in part for losing control.

So, DON'T DO IT. You are suffering from an addiction and are doing everything you can to cope with it. There is no shame in that. You should be proud of yourself for accepting responsibility and dealing with the issue thoughtfully and proactively.

You'll get there -- it's a long process but it works. And a beautiful benefit to TSM is that as your drinking is reduced, so will the self-loathing that inherently comes with it.

Chin up, you are doing great!

My best,

Nick