Another thing- I've been thinking that TSM did help me. Even though I had a bit of a roller coaster with it (cut down, drank more, cut down, drank more), I decided to quit drinking more than three weeks ago after many months on TSM. Although I think the pattern would be more normal to cut down, drink more, cut down, drink more, cut down, then quit, maybe I'm just different.

I know exactly what you mean when you state that you feel AA members have replaced alcohol with AA. I went there for over a year and found it was very abnormal. Everyone would sit around and discuss their "glory days" and then try to find some newbie to school. I had a sponsor who would routinely get mad at me for "not following the program" just because I would miss a day. I was a father, husband, and working full time to support myself and three other people. I couldn't always drop life to go sit around and talk about drinking. I eventually left because the only time I thought about drinking was at AA.

I stayed sober for 2 years. It wasn't because of AA (although it helped), it was because I had made a decision to stay sober because of something horrible I had done. I only went to AA for 1 year, because, like I said above, it was dragging me down in the end.

I ended up getting a divorce besides my sobriety and eventually started dating. It was during my time dating that I decided to start drinking again. I felt that I was never going to truly be able to connect with my dates if I didn't drink with them socially. I managed to maintain a normal level of drinking for about six months before I found myself waking up in strange places again.

I was drinking on a somewhat normal level when I met my current wife. She's seen me fall farther and farther into the grips of alcoholism. I've done the AA method and know it won't work for me. I have no interest in exchanging alcohol for countless nights in the basement of a church with people I don't like. I'm finally starting to see some success with TSM.

I'm not really sure why I shared all of that. I guess you just got me to thinking about AA and why I oppose it. AA is a cult. They spend all their time together and are NOT OK with you spending your time with non AA people.

I hope you find something to help you. AA works for some people, you may be one of them. Nal works for some people, you may be one of them. Self discipline works for some people...

What ever works for you is the best method. Best of luck, and "keep coming back"

Hi 18aday,

I am so glad that you are experiencing success with TSM. I feel like the subject line of my post "Ready to give up..." must be so negative to people on this board, that I should probably clarify things in a post with a new subject name. I don't want to discourage anyone from giving up on TSM, since I believe it is working for many of you. Since I'm not drinking right now, I believe my experiences with Nal must have helped me.

I hear you about AA. Many people in my group seemed like good people who were just struggling with alcohol like I am. However, I know firsthand from the woman who was angling to become my sponsor that there is a controlling side to it. Her voice would get very shrill and condescending whenever I told her that I couldn't make a meeting. I can totally see why you as a married husband and father holding down a full-time job, could not make meetings every night. I don't have kids yet, and I can't find the time to make a meeting every night. I have a long commute from work, and I don't even get home until after the latest meeting starts some time.

If AA works for some, that's wonderful. If TSM works, that's great, too. I am all for people being happy in their sobriety or controlled drinking.

I have felt happy for the most part for the past three plus weeks while not drinking. I'm not about to stop socializing with my husband, sister, parents, etc. who still drink wine or beer on occasion. That woman from AA made me feel totally uncomfortable while I sat in her car going back and forth to the meetings. It creeps me out that she even knows where I live. Lol!

Anyway, 18aday, I appreciate your comments and I'm glad TSM is doing its thing for you.