The other site is wqd.netwarriors.org

It stands for we quit drinking. Most members found it by googling those words or a combo of them. Mario and I met on that site. It does not endorse a single program. The members are simply a collection of people who have quit or are trying to quit drinking. People share a lot of methods, information, write journals, and even have a lot of fun as a community. It is a really unique place. Political debates, chat box for company and immediate support, threads on everything from exercise to politics. Because they are so open to multiple approaches, it surprised me that so many people were outraged by TSM. It is on that site that I learned about TSM, so not everyone there is opposed to that site. My name is the same over there. I kept the same name so that those who were interested in my journey in TSM, could follow me. I will share my experience there when I am confident that TSM worked or failed for me. Writing about an enjoyable night drinking does seem horribly wrong on a site for people trying to stay sober. And now....back to Mario

I hope you are having a great weekend!

Hi all,

I do pop in here more often than I post but often find I have little to say now. Hubby and I went out for a meal on Friday night and then I joined a group of work mates untill the early hours of the morning. It was 4am when I got home SOBER. I certainly had more to drink than a normal Friday night but I didnt count them. Office mates were saying on Monday 'how the hell did you stay so sober?'. It was a great night but went down hill when most people got very, very drunk and couldnt hold a thought for more than two minutes. Even though it was 4am when we were coming home in the taxi the three girls with me insisted on phoning another pub to see if they could get a late drink. He OKed it and they got out there and I went home alone. There was absolutly nothing in me that wanted another drink. I was so happy I was sober as my daughter and a friend who was staying over in our house woke up hungry and came downstairs to have toast and juice and were there when I got home. I made tea for myself and sat chatting and laughing with them for 15 minutes. I could see my daughter watching to see if I was anyway drunk. My sister who was out with us and was one of the people who stayed out later was hungover next day and my daughter told her "Ive no pity for you, why couldnt you have just come home in the taxi with Mom and you would be fine now" I gave out to her for being cheeky to her aunt but I was still chuffed that she was saying that I had done things ok in her book. It was for her that I quit 4 years ago, I just couldnt bear the thought of her having a drunken mother as part of her childhood. Eventhough alcohol didnt play a part we didnt have a good childhood and spent years living with relatives and neighbours. Ive never had major career dreams but from once I had my daughter all I ever wanted from there was to be a good mother. Ive always spent time helping the school, being on parent committees and forums. To think then that I was f***ing it all up with wine was driving me out of my mind. Sometimes now I think 'this is a bit too easy and I have the best of both worlds- I can have my few drinks and I can rear my daughter guilt free.

Mario, I'm amazed how often you or I post something similar. I had a great alcohol teaching moment with my daughter over the weekend and it sounds like you did too. She's a bright girl and has already figured out that coming home sober is way better than staying out past 4am and being hung over the next day. I know what you mean about feeling a little guilty about having your cake and eating it too. Abstinence as the only solution to alcoholism and alcoholism as a progressive disease are not necessarily true for everyone now. You are living proof and your experiences put you in a unique position to teach your daughter something and set a good example for her in regard to alcohol. Well done.

Mario - Thanks for your great post. I posted a couple of weeks ago that I drove my 16 year old's friends to a dance more than tipsy so your post really helped me. I have to look forward to not doing that in the future.

Stick around for awhile and tell us how you are doing. Your posts really help us.

Loved your post. GREAT for your daughter to witness the effects of alcohol in a way that allows her to learn rather than be hurt by it. Seeing Mom come home sober while others came home later and drunker...shows her their is a choice to be made, how easy it is to make the better one and then the rewards for coming home early! Cheeky girl for putting Auntie in her place, but you know....she is calling it like she sees it! Sometimes I feel like I am getting to have my cake and eat it too as well! Have a great weekend.

Im a bit concerned this morning as I didnt have a good weekend drinkwise. Saturday night I drank a bottle of wine and have hazy memories of going to bed. It didnt overly concern me. Yesterday I was involved with an event at a local hotel. At one point I took a break and went to the bar to get a coffee. Standing there I got a craving for a glass of wine and I had to talk myself out of it, apart from anything else even though it was out of office I was working. I took a nal anyway and planned on having a few drinks later. It was bugging me that wine was in my head on and off during the day. Hubby and I went out to eat later and I drank three glasses of wine with diner and then we went to our local pub. I really dont know how many drinks I had and I cant remember coming home. Its almost like the nal just didnt work at all. I woke this monring and though I had no hangover I felt crappy when I couldnt remember coming home and its bugging me since. It hasnt happened more than twice or three times that I have had memory loss since starting tsm. The only thing I can think of is that I finished one lot of nal and the next lot were a different brand and they are also one of the first lots I got last year so maybe there is a possibility they are near or past their use by date. They are not in their origional box so I cant tell.

I would love if hear from anybody else that this has happened to.

Ive been thinking most of the day about this unexpected blip and I think that the fact that I was very worried about something for most of last week might have made a difference to my drinking over the weekend. I was awake and jittery with anxiety most of the week. I never thought of drinking to relieve the worry and I actually remarked on it to myself thinking that without tsm I would be drinking constantly to get through this. It wasnt untill everything turned out fine and I was relieved that I drank too much. Im not too worried that I overdrank, what I am worried about is this awareness of alcohol and wanting it that is really bugging me. I normally never drink on Mondays yet I took a nal a while ago because I just dont trust myself this evening and there is alcohol at home and my mind keeps drifting to it. WTF.

Mario, don't over analyze it. Just take the nal and drink tonight if you feel like it. You have a long track record or responsible drinking now. You can trust yourself. Who knows why we do this. Maybe we miss a little of the anxiety relief of AL or miss the ability to lose control a little bit. Sometimes you want to just say F-it and blow off some steam. I had a night like that last week. I drank too much, got it out of my system and then back to business as usual. I have to remind myself that a "big" night now used to be a normal Monday night last year. As we get better we expect more of ourselves.

Two years into TSM and I still will drink too much every once in a while. However, 99% of the time I drink at healthy/safe levels and at all times I am drinking at a tiny fraction of my pre-TSM levels. This is entirely normal from my observations of others here. Yet another example of why the word "cured" should be trashed.

You are doing great. Don't over-think it. Actually, maybe you should: compare where you are now and where you were pre-TSM and thank God for this miracle drug and your new-found control.

My best,

Nick

Hi Mario,
Sorry to read your concerns. Take the advice of the writers ahead of me. I think you were reaching for something to relieve your worries and alcohol is still numbing, even on NAL. Keep that in mind for future reference. If you are reaching for a drink to relieve your worries, you are more likely to over do it and perhaps should take yourself home early and work to pace yourself a bit. Keep in mind that this was your biggest night drinking on TSM and I bet it would not be worth mentioning compared to binges 5 years ago. You are going to be fine! A blip on the path to control.