Ah, the dreaded spike. Or should I say, the expected spike. It's your body trying to compensate for your declining levels. Glad you're seeing the addiction for what it really is: a difference in the way your brain and body process alcohol, not some kind of character flaw. It has a chemical basis, and the solution is chemical as well. I'm glad we're living in a time when doing something about overconsumption is actually possible. Just think of the millions who have lived and died without any hope of ever curbing those compulsions. I'd say we're pretty lucky.

Hi,

Welcome to the forum blue hen. Have been reading about your first few weeks with interest and it brings back memories of so many similar feelings I had in the first few weeks. My husband was also a bit disinterested when I started- think he just thought...'here we go again'. Its actually only been the last month that he's started to show trust again and for the first time a few weeks ago he said 'this things really working isn't it'. One thing I used to think while I was drinking was that my husband was perfect and that I was always in the wrong, the 'baddie' in the relationship. Even when he did things wrong I would feel I drove him to it and that I deserved it due to my drinking. I now realise that he makes mistakes as well and is not perfect and that if he acts like an idiot (which we all do sometimes) I don't need to justify it or take it. It takes 2 people to make a relationship work and no one person is always to blame when problems arise. I write this as I noticed in your posts you give yourself a bit of a hard time and seem to shoulder a lot the responsibility for the relationship. Just remember how hard you are working to fix a medical problem which you did not choose to have.

You are doing great! It sounds like you are responding really well...... put the little 'vodka blip' behind you. You will have a wobble or two along the journey....all part of the process. Continue to focus on all the positive changes you are seeing. Wishing you lots of success and keep posting.

Put up my numbers for week 4 and they suck, worst week yet. I did drink to passout stage one night, and I have really craved my drinks in the evening. But I am starting much later at night and haven't had any embarrassing episodes. I always wait the hour for my Nal to kick in prior to starting. I am disappointed with the results this week, but as many of you have so kindly commented on it is a spike and it is to be expected. Reading the supportive posts and that others have experienced this is very helpful, or should I say hopeful. I don't think I would be able to continue and feel any hope of recovery if it weren't for continual support.

Hang in there. I just re-read my progress report yesterday and had forgotten about my dreaded (but predicted) spike. It is part of the process and you will get through it!

My best,

Nick

Hang in there Blue Hen. It is very early in the game. If you are unhappy with life at this level of drinking, you can use other methods in tandem to keep drinking under control. Moderation Management did not work for me in the long run, but reading their website helped in short spurts. When you begin to drink, think about watching your pace...slow down! Set a target per hour and insist on a nonalcoholic beverage between drinks. These simple rules really help me pace without great will power. Telling myself "only 4" is difficult, but setting a reasonable starting time, rate of consumption, insisting on nonalcoholic drinks in between and having a planned bedtime...all help lower my limits. Slowing down also helps me experience exactly how alcohol is affecting me. I can feel the difference and the excitement about a drink has started to decrease.

Hi BlueHen - I'd like to tell you not to get discouraged, but I think that is part of this process too. Maybe Nal clears our brain a bit and we begin to see that we just want to be done with drinking and yet still can't stop/reduce. I'm so glad you are tracking your numbers. That really helps as you will see a decline in numbers over time. For now just notice the little things and focus on those. Those changes mean it is working. I know your numbers look awful to you but look at mine and you will see that you are right on track. Hang in there.

I don't even want to post today, last night was bad. Had dinner with friends who are heavy drinkers. Drank and don't remember the night. A freestanding mirror in my bathroom got broke and I have no memory of it. But my shoulder is very sore and there is a small cut so I imagine I stumbled into it. It was just a scrap of mirror from a remolding project and I have meant to replace it for months, so it is no loss, but it is embarrassing.
So today I feel hungover and depressed, but I just keep reading and posting. It helps. I will go to the gym and burn the alcohol out of my system with an hour on the stair master.
I will say that my wine tasted awful last night- that is the first time I noticed that. I thought maybe it was the brand so I tasted my husbands red wine and it too tasted bad. So as a typical alki I switched to vodka and just pounded it. I have to stop doing that, but once I start drinking all control goes out the door.
I must not of done anything too horrible as my hubby is all lovey dovey this morning. The mirror didn't faze him, it was precarious were we leaned it up against the wall and seriously could of been knocked over by a sober person, but I know differently.
This too will pass-right?

Hey BLUEhen,
Chin up. Keep taking your nal and TRY some of the things I mentioned earlier. It is hard to get that drunk when you MUST drink 8 oz of water between drinks!

(((BLUE HEN))))

Well after a horrible Friday night I followed it up with a worse Saturday night. Again dinner with friends, but these friends are not heavy drinkers, but that didn't stop me from finishing a large amount of whiskey. I felt horrible on Sunday and the day was a complete loss. But there was a time early in the evening when I was sipping wine and not really aware of how much was left in my glass, or itching to get another glass. But I started drinking the hard stuff and powered through any restraint that the Nal was providing me.
Several of you(thanks 4better, your ideas are good ones) had suggested ways to slow down my drinking and it is time to seriously implement them, as so many have said I can't have heavy drinking episodes followed by a hangover day. It is depressing and not any fun.
I did not drink Sunday night; and it was so good for my body, soul and mind. And easy. I am really understanding that my drinking daily is habit, and not craving. Yes, some days I do still crave, but there are fewer and fewer of them. Feel good about myself today. Had a great workout with no Nal in my system. My husband had flowers, candies and hot coffee waiting for me when I woke up today. Tonight we are going out with friends and I am feeling very confident about having only 1-2 glasses of red wine.
Happy Valentines Day to everyone!

Hi BlueHen - Sorry you are having a hard time of it, but re-read my thread. I didn't see any changes in pounding the wine until about week 8, so hang in there. It will get better.