Mario, a very insightful post. I understand where you are coming from when you say you don't scan the table for an alcohol supply now. I kind of think about wine like I do chocolate now. I still like it but I won't drive to the store to get chocolate if I don't have any.

I can understand the opposition you've encountered on the other addiction site. It's a natural defense mechanism for people who truly believe that abstinence is the only way. They need to pick at the faults of TSM to make it sound unattractive or difficult to convince themselves they are on the right path. Let's face it, based on the people posting here, it won't work for everyone. I wouldn't want someone who is happily abstinent to try TSM. The only problem is how many happily abstinent alcoholics do you know. Most are white-knuckle types suffering through life and making everyone around them suffer too. I've never been a bigger jerk to my kids then when I was doing a 30 day abstinence as part of Moderation Management. I can't imagine what I would be like after 5 or 10 years of that.

Sorry to hijack, I've gotten off on a tangent and really just meant to say you are doing great, you are an inspiration to many on the board and I commend you for trying to spread the TSM message in your other spheres of influence. Those that needed to hear it probably got the message, the ones covering their ears can keep doing what they are doing.

Hey Mario - Great post. It gives me hope. Thanks for sticking around to share with us.

HG

One thing that Dr E says in his book is that you never really stop with TSM. Even thought it is called the cure, you are curing yourself every time you take NAl and drink. That is in chapter 9. I have read it 5 times so far and learn something every time.

TSM works for many people, and nobody should knock it. I am trying absinence right now, but I don't want to be one of those preachy people who only advocates abstinence. I think it's great that other people have cut down so much by using TSM. I think the most successful ones are those of you who diligently tracked how many units you consumed and checked in with this site regularly. It is good to have more concrete evidence of your progress.

Hey Dmagnum - My goal is abstinence. I signed up for TSM with that goal. I'm patiently marching towards that goal. I know you've had a bit of a stuggle with TSM but you got to abstinence and I think that is fantastic. Kudos to you.

Sorry to hijack your thread Mario.

HG

If Im honest I dont think my goal was ever abstinance. Id had abstinance for three years but always with the underlying feeling that I was litterly a drink away from oblivion. I wanted that threat gone from my life. I wanted to feel 'normal'. Both my husband and I missed going out for a drink together, ironically enough we dont go a quarter as much as I thought we would but the difference is its my choice.

I wish we knew why nal works so well for some and not so much or at all for others. Its a drug and one would imagine that it would do the same job on everybody. Im a firm believer that the instructions we have been given must be followed to the t. If not we are without doubt litterly messing with our brain.

Ahhhh the other site. I know your feelings about that one. I have sort of thrown the towel in. I find each time I open my mouth there, some one finds something ridiculously negative to say. I even had a pm demanding I turn my name back to black. I had in fact requested that it be black during my first TSM week. I followed the instructions I was given and failed to quit the 2 year sober group as well...so my color remained. In the email asking me to change my color, there was not one "I hope you are well." After I replied, I did get an apology. TSM seems to ignite some hostile emotions. I think there is some jealousy at work underneath it all. Someone pointed that out to me when I was angry at my husband's drinking. I had to reflect on that a while and realized that I was a bit jealous. Why does he get to go out and get trashed while I keep it all together and stay sober every day? I think the abstinence preachers need to preach to believe it is a better life than the one lived by people drinking moderately. Those "enjoying" abstinence do not preach, but support and encourage everyone to find something that works. Shark is one of those...he led me here even though he is happy completely sober. He even had connections to people working in the field.

Whose journal is this? Keep well Mario! If you have supply issues you can always PM. There seems to be an number of people willing to help a TSM'r in need!

You know 4ABL I think you have hit the nail on the head and I guess it makes sense that people would be a bit jealous of someone like us who had been abstinant right there along with them and then to be posting about drinking again and being actually quiet content and happy about it. As you say there are the people like Shark who can rise above anything and genuinly wants the best for everyone even if that doesnt fit in with his plan for himself. FD is another one. I find myself double and triple checking what I say there. I normally just try to say how well nal worked for me but qualify it by saying it requires following the rules and it doesnt work for 100% of people.

Im a bit more relaxed about it now, at the beginning I felt duty bound to let everyone there know that nal existed where as now there are plenty of threads in wqd about nal and where tsm is mentioned so if people want to know more about it they can get their asses over here. As far as the name colour is concerned, for some reason though I had changed back to black my name changed to red again. It was like that for a few weeks and I didnt bother to do anything about it but when I loged in yesterday I got a giggle as someone had taken it upon themselvs to correct the matter. I thought it was a little sad and petty really that someone would take time out to do that. Im sure they could find better things to do with their time. All that said like you I would never knock wqd as it kept me sane for three years and being abstinant was far superior to being the out of controll drunk. I just wish that instead of being ready to jump in there with criticism at the first opurtunity they would use us to get more info on all aspects of tsm. Neither of us are telling anyone to try it all we want to do is say look this is my experience of this drug, I will not lie to you nor will I encourage you to try it but please dont knock whats working for me.

Hey Mario and 4abl - I'm not exactly sure what site you are referring to, but I have an idea it is a "sober only" site. Here's what I would say. Shark is the only one really working the program because there is not supposed to be judgment in the "program." The motto is "live and let live." In any case, we have our path and they have theirs is how I see it. I'm just glad I found this path. I'm sure sorry that there are still folks in the program who don't get it.......the other motto of the program, "mind your own business...sweep your own side of the street." Oh well, sorry for venting, but I've been in the program for years and there is no place for judgment there.

HG

I really don't understand why anyone would have a problem with someone else's plan for sobriety or moderation. Aren't we all fighting the same battle? What difference does it make which path we take to that same goal? Reminds me of religious zealots who engage in endless debates about which faith is "right." Who cares? They're all working toward the same ends. Glad we can all find common ground here.