Previously posted to CURED LIST thread.
Pre-TSM: 77-90 units USA Week 1: 9,4,5,5,3,3,3 (Total: 32u) Week 2: 3,6,6,7,4,AF,5 (Total: 31u)+1 Week 3: 7,7,7,5,6,AF,3 (Total: 35u)+1 Week 4: 4,3,6,4,AF,AF,8 (Total: 25u)+2 MO: 31u Week 5: 3,4,4,2,3,AF,6 (Total: 22u)+1 Week 6: 4,3,3,3,3,AF,AF (Total: 16u)+2 Week 7: 6,AF,5,4,6,AF,6 (Total: 27u)+2 Week 8: AF,AF,8,5,AF,7, 3(first week I did not have A on hand at all times). (Total: 23) +3 MO: 22u Week 9: 3,5,5,6,3,?,? (>22u) Week 10: 5,6,AF, AF, AF,AF,AF, (Total: 11u)+5 Week 11: AF,3,6,AF,3,AF,AF (Total: 11u)+3 Week 12: AF,AF,6,8,3,AF,AF (Total: 17u) +4 Mo: 15.25u Week 13: 7,3,6,6,AF,AF,AF,3, (Total: 25u)+3 Week 14: AF,4,4,8,AF,AF,AF (Total: 16u)+4 Week 15: AF,6,6,3,AF,AF,3(Total: 18) +3 Week 16: AF,5,4,6,5,AF,AF (Total: 20) +5 MO: 19 Week 17: 4,4,4,3,AF,AF,AF, (Total: 15u)+3 Week 18: AF,4,4,3,AF.AF.4 (Total: 15u)+3 Week 19: AF,AF,3,AF,3,Af,AF, (Total: 6u) +5
After almost five months of TSM, I’m calling it here (What to call it?): “CURED”, “UNDER CONTROL”, “IN REMISSION”, “SAFELY DRINKING”, “UNDER THE LIMIT”, “AT THE HELM”. I have had a remarkable response to NAL and it keeps getting better. I have never bounced off my pre-TSM levels since starting. I have no real concerns of going backward at this point. I have become indifferent to Alcohol. I can stop drinking at a party and not feel compelled to have “just one more”. I did not think my cravings could go below what I had previously called “ZERO”. I guess ‘zero’ is a relative term? Not desiring a drink is zero; not even thinking about it is below zero. Noticing that I have just driven past the liquor store without wanting anything is zero; not noticing that I have just driven past the liquor store, is below zero craving. Having alcohol in the house and not drinking it is zero; not having a supply and not actively planning a trip to the store must be below zero. My mood has improved considerably; I had not noticed just how unhappy I was in the daily whipsaw of compulsion and control—a constant irritation. I am sleeping better than ever. I had accepted that being knocked out with alcohol was the closest thing I could get to a good night sleep. Three drinks per occasion are sufficient to me now and Alcohol-Free days come easily. Cold water is now a satisfying replacement on many evenings. When I drink, I still enjoy it. I just don’t need it. I could contentedly remain at this stage of TSM the rest of my life, but I suspect that my continued practice of Nal + Alc will further extinguish even this, and that’s also perfectly fine with me. (At this rate my Nal supply will last a year).
The touted miracle of NAL and its ‘too good to be true’ aspect causes suspicion of its lasting effects. It is easy to associate this scientific miracle with the one in “Flowers for Algernon”, or in “Awakenings”. The underbelly of the miraculous is the tragic fall into the same brute and unsatisfying reality from which one had somehow escaped—e.g., the cure stops working and we are doomed to return to our original sufferings. When some of the pioneers on these message boards confessed, one by one, to choosing to go off the Nal and drink, I was reminded of the devious nature of the beast. Mythically considered: Perhaps we are returned to an innocence of Eden before the fall, but even though we may no longer crave forbidden fruit, we may nevertheless feel the curious temptation to choose it. But isn’t it wonderful to have the ability to choose freely………..the renewed opportunity to choose wisely this time? Good luck to you all. A beacon of hope shines upon this community. Nal on!!
|