Maybe I started drinking without nal because I sensed this was coming. I was told my low self-esteem and forgetfulness made it difficult to work with me.

Don't punish yourself by drinking without NAL! The alcohol alone is punishing enough. Your best hope for a brighter future is following TSM and conquering the negativity that is a strong part of alcohol abuse. Am sending you positive energy and good wishes.

Adrienne, it sounds like you may be depressed. Alcohol is a depressant and will only make things worse. Stick to taking your Nal and give it time to work. It's not a quick process, but it sure beats anything else that's out there. Good luck.