St Vincent, so you're the one! Thank you for posting about the sale. I wouldn't have known about it if not for you. Was there someone else on this board that's also done 23andme?

On a different note, I moved into a new place several weeks ago with a bunch of strangers. I hung out with one of my new roommates for the first time last night. I'm pretty sure he's an alcoholic or becoming one because I watched as he drank a whole bottle of wine by himself (not that I'm judging, I've done that countless times). The funny thing is that I felt almost nothing watching him. Normally, I would have been itching for a drink watching someone else, but when I was done hanging out and went back to my room, I didn't even consider taking a nal and drinking. I just read for a bit and then went to sleep. There was no effort involved.

I feel like I'm progressing so quickly now. Thank God for TSM.

Tambo, I heard about 23andme when Nemo posted about it back in August. I checked it out then but thought $500 was too much, but with their current promo I was too curious not to order the kit.

I just ended my 10th week with 20 units. Not bad, but I was hoping to see improvement from last week. These 20 units were had on 3 nights, so I wasn't able to meet my goal of only 4 units per session. I guess I just have to be patient and continue to apply some will power. The nights that I went AF were extremely easy though and required almost no will power.

So last night I went to a bar with a friend for a "meetup". It's this internet club where single people choose an activity and location and meetup there. This is the first time in a long time that I've done anything like this. I felt really shy and awkward, and the craving for alcohol kicked in. I only had 2 beers at the meetup, but I was craving alcohol so bad that when I got home I drank 4 more units of rum and I'm really suffering for it today. It seems like my tolerance for alcohol has really gone down, because in the past this amount wouldn't really have effected me. I hope I extinguished this trigger because it's scary to crave alcohol like this again after not craving it for a couple weeks.

On a totally unrelated topic, I got hit on by two good looking girls at the bar when buying my beer. I've never been good at talking to girls so I just nervously went back to the table with my friend, but looking back, I should have stayed at the bar and talked to them. I'm an idiot. But anyway, it's a much needed confidence booster when I'm depressed and missing my ex-girlfriend.

Another milestone for me. Tonight at my work we had our big office party. There was so much beer and wine and it was free. Normally, I would have totally taken advantage of this. But honestly I wasn't that interested. I had two beers and I felt nauseous. I wanted to drink more but the thought repulsed me. That's the first time ever that the thought of drinking repulsed me. I really wanted to get buzzed, but the thought of drinking beer or wine to get there was just so unappealing to me. I would have done shots though if they had hard liquor.

So I think I've extinguished beer and maybe wine and drinking with other people. Not too big a deal since I was never that interested in beer to begin with. Now the hard part is to extinguish hard liquor and drinking by myself. I find that with hard liquor I can break past the nal barrier and still get that high. I'm gonna give it more time and hopefully it will happen.

I finished my 11th week with 38 units. I was expecting a spike and this one wasn't as bad as I thought it would be so I'm still happy. Part of this spike is due to all the holiday parties and the other is that I'm finally becoming more social and going out with friends. I have total control when drinking with others now. It is amazing. No more embarrassing shenanigans. The problem is that when I get home, I still want to continue drinking by myself. If I could cut that out, my units would be well within normal numbers. Looks like it will be a while before I can extinguish drinking alone, but I definitely see improvement.

You're doing great Tambo. Give it time. I noticed my pre-drinking stopped prior to going out as I was gaining control and now I've noticed I don't have the same desire to drink after an outing. Others have had similar experiences so it's coming. Great progress. Isn't it nice to go to a Xmas party and stay in control?

Hi Tambo,
It looks like your units are dropping. That is an accomplishment during times when the average person drinks more. I am finding it helpful to reflect on my most recent hangover before starting. I then make sure to separate my drinks with a glass of water or other nonalcoholic drink in the interest of hydration rather than worrying about units.

Love reading you are getting and socializing! That is wonderful.

Just finished my 12th week with 24 units. I had 4 AF days in a row, which were very easy for me. But I'm still struggling with certain issues. Last night I went out for a beer with a friend. I only had one beer and that was easy. I drank it slow and I did not want another one while at the bar, but as soon as I started on my way home, the craving hit and I drank by myself on a night I wasn't planning on drinking. I had 8 more units after I got home and today I feel like crap.

On a good note, 24 units is still a really good number for me and if I compare my last 4 weeks on TSM to my first 4 weeks, I've seen a decrease of over 33%. I'm hoping this progress continues, even though I still worry sometimes.

Just finished my 13th week with 28 units and 4 AF days. It has been officially 3 months now on TSM and though I'm not cured, I've made huge progress. I'm going to list things I never did on TSM that I used to do when drinking:

-no wetting the bed
-no getting put in the drunk tank
-no automatically drinking any and all alcohol in my house (I can actually store alcohol without being worried that I'll drink everything in one night)
-no getting kicked out of any kind of establishment
-no pre-drinking at parties
-no sneaking drinks when out with people
-no preoccupation with getting wasted when at a party, able to just enjoy people's company
-no crashing my car
-no getting out of control
-no black outs in public
-no cooking food in the middle of the night and forgetting to turn off the burner
-no more suicidal thoughts the day after a binge
-no more waking up in odd places
-no more running around the house naked and passing out only to have someone find me that way
-no drunken texts or phone calls
-no embarrassing incidents, period

Here are things I still do that I'm trying to put a stop to:
-I called in sick to work twice because I was too hungover
-I drove my car while "buzzed" twice
-I still drink by myself way too often
-I still black out occasionally at home, but now my blackouts are harmless. I just go to sleep.

I've noticed that my obsessive thoughts about alcohol have been slowly diminishing. It seems to occupy less of my mental space everyday, but it's happening so gradually it's almost imperceptible.

My short term goal is to cut out the solitary drinking. That has been relatively easy as long as I don't have a drink with my friends after work. But since I'm trying to be social to get over my ex-girlfriend, I've been going out a lot. I'm always in control when I'm out, but as soon as I get home I need to continue drinking. I think the next time, I'm gonna have to summon up as much willpower as possible and not drink when I get home. Maybe that will break the habit. Who knows. I know this takes time and I've made so much progress already, but I want to be fully cured. Regardless, I'm happy. Even if I see no further improvements, I'm still so much better than the way I used to be.

Tambo, great job on your progress and I like how you summed it all up in a list like that.

I'm with you on the part about not being cured but pretty damn happy about all the stuff about past drinking that is now gone from my life!

It is good that you are setting some new goals as well. Good luck with acheiving them!!!! That's what I need to do to. Not going to happen while on vacation over the holidays, but maybe when I get back home?

Take care and good luck!!