Yesterday was my first opportunity to get really drunk if I wanted to with other people. I know as an alcoholic, it may sound odd but I actually have very few friends that drink. I am primarily the kind of drunk that drinks alone. This was my cousin's engagement party and my uncle and cousins like to drink. Normally during these family events I would abstain because I didn't want to make a fool out of myself in front of my family, but since I had nal I had the confidence to go ahead and drink. None of them know I'm an alcoholic.

Long story short, I drank a total of 5 units in 10 hours. I never lost control and I did not have to exert any will power. It was amazing. I could feel myself get to a certain level of intoxication and it actually felt uncomfortable for me so I had to stop. I felt like a normie! Pre TSM, if I had a couple drinks, the desire for more alcohol would be so overwhelming that I would easily out drink anyone else in the room. I think this is amazing progress and proof that I will eventually get cured even though I'm not there yet.

Unfortunately, since this was a family event, everyone was asking about my girlfriend and I had to repeat over and over that we had recently broken up. That coupled with the fact that my younger cousin is engaged and will most likely get married before me, got me really depressed. When I got home, I proceeded to get drunk alone (though I didn't overdo it too badly). I think the biggest challenge for me will be extinguishing my drinking when I'm alone. It has been ingrained in me for so long.

Tambo,
That sounds like excellent progress. I am very happy for you. It sounds like your biggest problem right now is time alone. Focus on keeping that to a minimum. Company is good for the soul.

Just ended my 9th week on TSM with 19 units. I'm pretty happy about that, but want to get my units even lower. I had to use some will power on AF days but not much. Those 19 units were consumed over 3 nights, so I still overdid it when I drank. My short term goal is to not drink more than 4 units during any given drinking session. I know that before TSM that goal would have been impossible because once I started I couldn't stop, but now I think I might be able to reach this goal in a few weeks (crossing my fingers).

For me, forcing AF days I think was the key to my breakthrough. We'll see if my numbers spike in the future, but for now I can definitely see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am slowly getting back to feeling like a happy and confident person again.

glad to see you're doing well tambo. I probably need to plan some aF days myself

So last night I was supposed to go out dancing with a friend but she flaked on me so I spent the night at home alone. That's two huge triggers for me, saturday night and being alone (and getting flaked on is a third one). Guess what? I didn't drink! Yes, I thought about it, but the thought was easily brushed aside. I did however spend the night playing video games until 4am, so I kind of just replaced one addictive behavior with another, but between the two, video games is the lesser evil so I'll take that for now.

Wow, I still cannot believe I didn't drink on a Saturday night when I'm "allowed" to. This is definitely a milestone for me.

Good for you, Tambo! Like you, I had plans to go out Saturday night and it would have meant a drinking place and drinking friends. (Sorry that your date backed out--that's an easy reason to turn to a drink.)

I just decided that, when I pictured the evening, it didn't appeal to me. Instead I got some knitting done, read for an hour, and woke up this morning feeling just fine! I hope that this kind of choosing to let the alcohol go is the way I'm going to behave in the days, weeks, months
ahead. (I'm starting my 18th week on TSM.)

Again, congrats!

Wow, thats really good progress, well done Tambo. Its funny how you suddenly start realising you have a choice rather than it being inevitable that you will drink, its a good feeling.

Hey Tambo,

Sounds like you are having some great success. Congratulations. It's great when the AF's become easy !
Everyone has a different journey ...but after my AF's started to flow - I found the next thing to happen was a steady (although a bit erratic) decline in the volume per session.

Hope you have another great week.

Kiwi

I was reading on this website (I forgot where) that 23andme, the website that sequences your genome is having a sale. Out of curiosity I checked it out and it's only $100 plus a 1 year subscription, plus shipping which basically adds up to less than $200 for everything. I decided what the heck and bought it and now my kit is in the mail. The part that pertains to TSM is that they have a test to see if you're more inclined to alcoholism and another test to see if you'll be a good responder to naltrexone. Not that it matters now, but I'm very curious as to how I'll score on those two tests.

Anyways, I've always been curious about my genes, so I think this is amazing deal considering everything I'll learn about my DNA. I'll post my results as soon as I get them (probably not for another eight weeks). It'll be interesting to discover more about the connections between DNA and alcoholism and nal.

Tambo, I ordered the kit a couple of days ago out of curiosity. I seem to be responding to NAL so I'm curious about that result as well as the other genetic info they provide.