Thank you all for your responses. I definitely think I've entered new territory in my relationship with AL. I've made no secret about my struggles and my internal battle between continuing with TSM and going back to continuing my efforts at complete abstinence. I'm glad I committed to continuing because here in my 11th week I can feel things shifting in my favor

Even though my TSM roller coaster has left me doubting, I cannot deny my progress so far:

No hospitalizations vs. multiple hospitalizations in the past both for alcohol poisoning, a "suicide" attempt and multiple treatments/ER.
No more blackouts vs. regular blackouts and no control over how my drinking sessions would end.
No more passing out vs. passing out at strange and humiliating times and places.
No more drinking and driving vs. bad judgement here in the past which I always feared would end badly.
No more bruises, cuts, falls vs. all of these ugly by-products of uncontrollable drinking.
And just this week --- drum roll please --- no more daytime drinking --- no more hair of the dog drinks ---no more desperate desire to pick up in the AM after a long night. For me this is a biggie because I can stay safe at night if it doesn't roll over into the next day.

I'd still like to add more AF days and drink less on the nights I do drink but I feel like I am now a "heavy drinker" vs a "crash and burn alcoholic". Some of my alcoholic behaviors may pop up again before my TSM journey is over but I feel differently now and have faith that I will continue to extinguish my disease. No doubt, TSM takes patience, tenacity and I suppose a bit of faith to stick with it.

St Jude, I would also be interested to hear who is bashing Nal and TSM. It is a shame that something which could help any suffering alcoholic could be given a bad rap but I know my AA friends almost need to negate it to reinforce what they are taught to believe in AA. A big part of AA is being asked to believe a certain set of messages and "drinking to cure the disease" is not really an acceptable AA belief. I guess in their attempt to deal with their disease they are turning to AA and all it's strongly held beliefs. Not surprisingly, because that is the most widely offered solution to alcoholism so I don't really blame them for holding tight to the one solution they believe has the most "merit". Mostly, I'm surprised TSM is being discussed at all because I thought TSM was still relatively unknown

Thanks again for all your support and encouragement. I think TSM is tough but I'm glad I've stuck with it BTDT

BTDT,

SO Happy for you.

I think this forum will ultimately save more people than AA. WHY? Because of the success rate and as it catches up to word of mouth as opposed to AA being celebrated on national TV every anniversary (yes) we shall see a sea change as has happened with some computer companies (Apple comes to mind). Disclaimer....transformed Apple guy. Best, Jim

PS IT will be geometric...Math type members please reply!

BTDT what a great list of your progress. I'm going to cut and paste and send it to someone close to me who needs constant reinforcement about TSM.

So your progress is very uplifting!!!!! And what a joy to see someone else 'get' this!!!

As for AA - let them do their thing. In all charity, we can only wish them happiness and sobriety if they can achieve it. I never could with their route - it took TSM to cure me! And I don't have to be afraid of having a drink anymore!! YIPPPPEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Now that I think about it, the fear of drinking was terrible before TSM. I can remember my first week on Nal over a year ago - what a wonderful sense of freedom and peace! To be able to have a drink and feel good about it - knowing there was light coming, and not a train!!!

You are doing WONDERFUL!! Feels great doesn't it? Keep up the good work!
And hang in there!


To BGH I know that fear all to well. It my BIGGEST stumbling block right now. Everything else seems to be coasting for now.
ALWAYS, JANE

Your progress is really inspiring. Please keep us posted.

No more blackouts vs. regular blackouts and no control over how my drinking sessions would end.
No more passing out vs. passing out at strange and humiliating times and places.
No more drinking and driving vs. bad judgement here in the past which I always feared would end badly.
No more bruises, cuts, falls vs. all of these ugly by-products of uncontrollable drinking.
And just this week --- drum roll please --- no more daytime drinking --- no more hair of the dog drinks ---no more desperate desire to pick up in the AM after a long night. For me this is a biggie because I can stay safe at night if it doesn't roll over into the next day.

Thank you for stating for me so eloquently the positives I need to focus on (list above is my list too).
I think TSM is still relatively unknown. I spent a lot of time going through the soberrecovery site (yikes), and I also received a (wonderful) email from someone on this site who was starting NAL. Apparently they tried it for a few days, felt it wasn't working, and declared Dr. Sinclair a "quack". Also look at the comments in the Newsweek article on NAL, I assume those are a lot of AA folks posting there too. I feel about TSM the same way I feel about gay marriage-if you don't like it, don't have one. I don't know why people get so worked up about things that don't have to impact their lives in any way and they can choose to ignore (although I'm surely guilty of the same)

I'm back on the roller coaster - I've just finished my 11th week with my highest units yet. Surprisingly, I'm pretty much OK with it because I've felt more in control and chose not to take AF days intentionally and to follow the cravings.

We have family in town the next two weeks and figured I'd be taking a number of days off then. They don't know that I'm doing TSM and they aren't used to seeing me drink. I figure it will be easier not to drink than to worry them or have to discuss why I am. It will be a good excuse to give my body a break plus I don't want to visit with everyone while hung over.

I also ended the week with long day of drinking. Just when I thought the daytime drinking was over, yesterday, I woke up with nagging thoughts of drinking. After trying to brush them aside for 4+ hours I decided that I needed extinct the craving. I didn't start until noon but proceeded to drink steadily all the way until bedtime.

No AF days + a long day of drinking yesterday = 63 units. I was a bit bummed out when I woke up this AM but I've decided it's just the spike before the drop I expect for the next couple of weeks. Better to do it now then while the family is around

And, thanks everyone for your responses. Even though my units are up I can still say the fear is not there in the same way. I continue to be a little skeptical of how TSM will work for me in the end but it's definitely having an impact. I going to keep on keeping on and hope for the best. Things are definitely changing, I'm just wishing for more.

As far as the critics. Seriously, what about "live and let live". I've read some of the comments on Newsweek, sober recovery and noticed that some of the folks were more open-minded and the rest don't seem like folks I'd like to hang with anyways. But, it does require patience and time otherwise it really doesn't have a chance of working for most of us. Anyone who throws in the towel too soon really hasn't given themselves a chance to see whether it works or not. I agree, that the more of us who have success with TSM, the more the news will spread. I'm hoping I'll get to share my success story soon My best to all, BTDT

I think that's a great attitude BTDT. Good luck with the family visits.

Illuminae,

Thanks. I guess it's easier to be relaxed about it because I feel different and can tell something is happening. For instance, last night was my first night post-spike and not only was it an easy AF night but I really enjoyed being AF!! I'm looking forward to more this week . Good luck to all in the upcoming week. BTDT

Hi all,

I've been away from the board for a couple of weeks. We've had family in town and I've been busy entertaining. In the past, I've found my family to be a trigger but I didn't find that to be true Overall things have been going well. I've been TSM-ing and continuing to feel like things are heading in the right direction... slower than I would like... but I continue to feel like I'm regaining control a little bit at a time.

Now that I'm finishing my 13th week (3 months on Thanksgiving), I've decided to try to do the graph thing. So, here goes...



Best of luck to all in the upcoming week!! BTDT