Yeah, breakups are the worst. They used to catapult me into a spiral of despair, complete with drunken binges, self-loathing, the whole bit. Unfortunately, none of that helped; the only remedy is time. But after a while it starts getting better, and when you finally find the right one, becomes just another memory. Hard to realize that when you're in the middle of it, though. But you'll get through it, so hang in there.

Hi Tambo,
Are you trying other things to deal with the heart break? I went 3 years alcohol free and one of the most important things I had to learn was what the hell to do with myself during all that sober time! My alcoholic life minus alcohol was just plain empty. Add to that a break up, and I don't know if I could have done it. I am a believer in the Sinclair Method, but I am so grateful for the growth that I made during my sobriety. I was never an AA'r and do not believe in the 12 steps. There is however some wisdom to the fact that we need to undergo some emotional growth to enjoy our lives without booze.

Hang in there Tambo...the heart will mend. Get out there and socialize to help the healing.

Hey weird-oh and 4abetterlife, thanks for the support. I definitely need to figure out a way to fill my time. I think that's another reason why I drink so much now. I used to spend all my spare time with my girlfriend. She was my best friend. Now when I get off work, I don't know what to do with myself. I know I should go to the gym, and go see friends and be social, but it's hard to get motivated when I'm so depressed.

I wasn't able to go AF last night. This is going to be another high number week for me. I feel like I've totally regressed to my pre-TSM levels of drinking.

You need to force yourself to the gym and other places. Make yourself a new lifestyle rule. You have added taking a nal one hour before drinking...now make yourself a list of positive non alcohol behaviors you want to add to your life. Something like...
I must go to the gym, visit a friend, engage in my hobby, play my guitar, cut the grass, fix the fence.

ANYTHING! Just one non work activity to the day. Even going to library on the way home is a change of pace. My last big heartbreak before I met my husband left me feeling completely empty and low. I know where you are. Depression can spiral out of control. The sadness leads to inactivity which leads to greater depression. The only way out is to force yourself to do what you don't want to do. Join a recreational sports team (coed is best) or a volunteer group. You must connect with other people now. Stat easy with a walk after work and then add things a bit out of your comfort zone. Enlist a friend to drag you off the couch! YOu can do this.

I can relate Tambo-I can be so lazy and I know my numbers would be higher if i didn't spend 3-4 nights/week with my boyfriend. Don't be hard on yourself, the breakup of a relationship is one of the most stressful things one can go through in life. As long as you're taking your NAL before you drink don't beat yourself up about drinking more. Drinking the same amount on TSM is much better than drinking the same amount without TSM (either way you'd still be drinking).
If it's hard for you to get out of the house, would surfing sites like match.com help occupy your time? I know when my ex and I split 6 years ago I found comfort in joining eharmony. I didn't actually go on any dates (just exchanged some emails and phone calls) but it made me feel better to know there were so many single people out there looking--and there are a lot--and it made me feel better to at least have people express an interest in me. Just a thought.

Okay, my week has ended with my units at 56. This is tied for the most units so far while on TSM. I had to call in sick today because I was too hungover to come in to work. This is the second time that I've done that while on TSM. This is probably the worst hangover I've ever had on nal. Usually they're not so bad but today I feel like a total zombie. I feel utterly hopeless. I know this is supposed to take time, but I can't have any more days like this. It is hazardous to my mental well being and to my career.

I hate that feeling. I think we can all relate. I'm not sure what to say, but don't give up. It's still very early stages for you on TSM.

Here's a question: have you tried to delay the time of your first drink? I know that by starting later (for me in the evening), it sometimes helps me cut my units. I take an OTC sleep aid (diphenhydramine hydrochloride tablet) after a few drinks and sometimes the impulse to sleep takes over when debating whether to have that last, last drink.

Good luck. Hang in there! Things will get better.

Hi Tambo,
Sorry things are going so poorly. Before TSM, what did you do when you were trying to cut down your drinking? I wonder if you might try to add back some of the white knuckling techniques for now. Delaying your start time...alternating drinking alcohol with non alcoholic drinks. Just something to slow it down. Go to the doctor and ask about anti depressants or librium to manage anxiety temporarily. My hub found that he was able to cut way back and return to work by taking librium. He got his units down to low levels, stopped the librium and has maintained low levels of drinking ever since.

Wishing you luck!

Hey guys, thanks for the support and advice. I'm feeling better now that the alcohol has had time to work itself out of my body. To answer some questions, drinking at a later time doesn't work for me as I just stay up later drinking and I'm even more tired the next day. My main strategies in the past were hanging out with my girlfriend (no longer an option), exercising (which I need to get back into), AA meetings (which I have no desire to return to), and white knuckling it (which I thought was counter productive on TSM). For the time being I think I'm going to have to white knuckle it for at least a week because I feel like my drinking has gotten out of control.

Also, I know I'm not the only one on this board dealing with a breakup. I found a great online support group for the brokenhearted at enotalone.com. There's some great advice there and it also helps to know that there are so many other people that have been where I am and make it through to be whole and happy people.

First off, Happy Thanksgiving to all those who live in the US. Let's pig out. We have much to be thankful for.

So I ended my week with 15 units! My lowest ever on TSM. I wish I could say it was effortless, but I did have to apply some effort. But I would hardly call it white knuckling. It looks like my pattern now seems to be one really high week followed by one low week. Hopefully my high weeks will become fewer are farther between.

My fifteen units were drunk over 3 days, so I still drank to excess when I did drink, but normally I probably would have 8-10 in a session, so this is definitely an improvement. I'm going to continue TSM coupled with willpower as that seems to be the combo that works best for my situation right now.

I'm so thankful for nal and TSM and all you guys on this board!