I'm well into week 5 now and seem to be getting to a point where each night, I can make a decision to continue to drink or to stop. Unfortunately, I usually continue. But my daily consumption seems to be declining slightly. I am often surprised when I look in the fridge to get another beer and discover that "I only had 4?; I thought I had 5". In the old pre-TSM days, it used to be I'd go out the the fridge to get the last beer and discover that I had already consumed it.

I talked with my Psychiatrist yesterday about the Sinclair Method. He had not heard of it. I explained it to him in detail, and he did not dissuade me from using the method especially if I was I thought I was having success with it. He even renewed my prescription so I wouldn't run out before I saw him again. I really think Psychiatrists are far more open-minded about these types of medications than General Practitioners are. Anyway, I see him in 8 weeks and hopefully I will have made some more progress by that time.

Well, that's about it about me for now.

Bob

Thanks, WTE! I needed that encouragement.

Right now, I am at 3 beers and thinking about a 4th, but I feel like I can almost make the right decision. I think a little more TSM, and I'll be stopping right here. I'm relaxed and still coherent, ready for some entertainment then a good night's sleep. Somehow, I think that 4th beer will be coming my way... at least this week anyway.

It's a shame your shrink is not a results-oriented doctor. Mine is. He feels if it works for you then that is the answer. He closely monitors honesty and manipulative behavior, so I feel I have gotten a lot of mileage out of being completely open about what I am doing and allowing him to do what he is trained to do. I wish they were all like that.

Bob

Great to hear, Bob. You're fortunate indeed that you can be honest w/ your psychiatrist. Honesty is something I'm looking forward to. It's kind of ironic that so many of us have to keep up the lies and sneaking about our drinking to family and friends while we are doing TSM. Yet honesty is the lynchpin of the treatment programs that don't work!! I find that so ironic.

"the level of intoxication that I'm used to"

this is an interesting statement. this is where fear comes in for me.

i have built up such a high resistance / tolerance (20 oz vodka/day)

i guess this is when the detoxification comes into play,
when you cut down because of extinction
hum......

Bob, your posts are great, and you've obviously already come a long way! Faster progress than mine - but then, part of the usefulness of this forum is that we can see there is no 'right' or 'expected' thread/time frame of progress. We all get to the same destination, though perhaps be taken there on a different route (within the Sinclair/Eskapa 'city,' of course!).

I used to see a really neat counselor right after my break-up w/the ex. Very open-minded and bright, and he never encouraged me to go the AA route to dealing with my drinking (tho I was quite open w/him about it). Helped me deal with a lot of baggage, and then I stopped going because my finances went farther south. Anyway, I'm thinking he would be very interested in TSM. Think I'll order a book and send it on to him.

Thanks for the thought, Bob!

I am glad that some of you enjoy my posts. I am trying to document my experience in an honest open way as I experience it and compose verbiage to clearly describe it. All this is an effort to help others as they start and continue with TSM.

Last night, I had one of those I-don't-feel-like-drinking-tonight nights. Summary: I picked up two 6-packs for the weekend on the way home after another stressful day at the end of a stressful week. I got home and took my Nal. (BTW, I always keep my Nal home now. That way I can't drink and drive on the way home). While I was reading posts here on this site, I dozed off for about an hour. When I awoke, I realized it was time to start drinking, except that I didn't want to. I wish I had known that prior to taking the Nal! But perhaps it was the combination of the nap and the Nal; after all, this is the second time an afternoon nap after Nal has caused me to not want anything to drink. hmmm...

Since TSM only works with Nal + Drinking = Cure, I decided to have a beer. It was tough. I didn't want it, but I finished it in 35 minutes. I then thought that one beer is not enough, so I got another one. It took so long to finish that one that I had to put it in the freezer for 20 minutes when I was half way through, because it had gotten warm. I didn't have anything with alcohol after that. I went to bed after some TV and fell asleep, sleeping fairly well through the night.

I awoke this morning feeling great!

I may go for an AF day today and/or tomorrow, but that depends on how I feel around 3 to 5 PM.
We shall see.

Love to you all!

Bob

The only metaphor I can use is that of being hungry. Sometimes you're really hungry; sometimes you're somewhat hungry. When I woke up after the nap, it was like I was not "hungry" at all. Kinda like when someone puts food in front of you and you're not hungry at all. Effort is required to eat when you're like that.

In the same way, it required effort to drink last night, since I had already taken the Nal.

And to answer your question, these "I don't feel like drinking tonight" moments have happened just twice to me and only while performing TSM. They happened suddenly, without warning. It'll be interesting when they start happening for multiple days, as I have read that others have experienced.

Bob

I am so disappointed in myself this morning!

I had planned on an AF day yesterday, then I got hit with a craving mid-afternoon. So I immediately took a Nal, waited exactly 1 hour and drank for the next 5 hours. No self-control at all. Just did what I felt like. I am an impatient man and I want to see progress, but it is just too darn early. I know it's too early, yet I want the cravings to subside.

And after writing this post this far, I see how unreasonable my thinking is. I am only into 5 weeks of a treatment that takes 4 times longer before concrete results can be seen. It is just so frustrating waking up and realizing you just drank just as much as you used to, pre-treatment. But I know that it doesn't work that way - a gradual decline. I guess I should be grateful that I do get sporadic I-don't-want-to-drink days. But I so much wanted yesterday to be an AF day, and it was just the opposite.

Oh well. I'll just stick with the program and try to be patient.

Bob

Coming here to "talk it out" is one of the very best tools we have. I'm glad you used it. We all remind each other it's not a straight road and it's a long-haul process. Sounds like you got it sorted out just by posting. We've got your back! Hope today is better.

I definitely understand! It seems so long since I have been taking the nal, and here I am at 11 a.m. wine in my body. It's a beautiful day and I think I "should" be outside. But I do not feel like doing that.

I too, feel, is this really going to work?

But then I look back and see my old habits, nightly drinking till bed time. Now I do all the same patterns, but my drinking has definitely slowed down after 5 p.m.. I think that is progress.

So Bob, I reiterate my understanding and compassion for your struggles! Yesterday I drank when I did not want to drink, not to "do the program," just because I had no control. I think the lack of control is important language here, as it is said that we as Alcoholics have issues with control. Physiologically I can not decipher that statement.

Best to you!