Thanks to all who are responding..sniff...sniff. Happy tears! Day 5.....Yesterday was an AF day because of a Mother-of-a-Hangover. The Nal helped with slowing down on the first drink, but once that was down, I finished the bottle of wine I brought to the party within a couple hours. I don't usually get sick, but felt ill riding home and woke up with a major headache and dry heaves. Hubby was a godsend....I told him about the Nal and he seems to understand, but wants it to work as a turn off switch just as much as I do. I did not have as much fun with the Nal in my system because it seemed to make the alcohol stronger. Oh well, maybe I should try the voodoo. Just kidding. The way I see it, If I REALLY want a drink, I'll take the Nal and if it is just a passing thought, I'll skip it. Needless to say, it is the last thing I want right now. Does anyone know how to buddy up with people on this site? I'm enjoying reading all the posts. Thank goodness for sites like this. Toodle Loo for now. Maxie

So after doing well on Saturday with the Nal I kinda blew it on Sunday. Saturday I took the Nal right before a 5k because there was beer at the end of the race. I was a little worried about how it might affect my stamina and I didn't want to upchuck in front of friends, but I managed very well. 1 beer, 1 vodka tonic with lunch a couple hours later and then in the evening tried to drink wine, but it didn't taste so good. Slept in on Sunday. I was depressed and feeling a little neglected because my hubby ran with another women after he'd said he was going to stay with the pack. Then I found a good night text from said woman at 10 0'clock at night. Needless to say the little green monster reared it's head and I turned to the bottle last night. Of course, I cheated and only took 12.5 mgs of Nal cuz I was deathly afraid of the hangover. I ended up drinking a little over half a bottle of wine, a bottle of beer, and a shot of tequila. This morning I dumped the bottle of tequila so I wouldn't be tempted. There is still beer in the house, but I'm trying to AF 4-5 days a week. It's there if I really get the urge. I wonder how my hubby would feel if I took up ballroom dancing or horseback riding with another guy. I'm trying to keep my emotions in check, but I also don't want to be naive. I have always felt pretty secure in my relationship until this "mutual" friend started paying attention to my husband. I know from earlier posts that the Nal can make one more irritable and i did feel that yesterday morning. So far this is the most AF days I've had in years, so I'm sticking with it. Thanks for listening. Mackie

The fact that you are on this site and doing TSM means you are the opposite of broken! (which would be...fixed?).
I'm only a month into it-I strongly suggest you get the book I paid $12 for it on Amazon and it was really helpful, I wouldn't want to do this without it. Also, please understand clearly there is very little wiggle room on this for "cheating". Yes, this is a very easy plan to follow.
But there are 2 tenets which if not followed could actually make your AL cravings worse : 1. take the NAL at least an hour before drinking (I'm not sure about playing around with dosage as there have been some discussions on the effects between 25-100 mgs and I think it depends on the individual, not sure is there are issues with 12.5 being a sufficient dosage 2. never, ever drink without NAL. this is a lifelong commitment

I had a horrible reaction the the NAL and felt like crap the first few days-went away after that and I'm fine. Give it time to work!

The fact that you are on this site and doing TSM means you are the opposite of broken! (which would be...fixed?).
I'm only a month into it-I strongly suggest you get the book I paid $12 for it on Amazon and it was really helpful, I wouldn't want to do this without it. Also, please understand clearly there is very little wiggle room on this for "cheating". Yes, this is a very easy plan to follow.
But there are 2 tenets which if not followed could actually make your AL cravings worse : 1. take the NAL at least an hour before drinking (I'm not sure about playing around with dosage as there have been some discussions on the effects between 25-100 mgs and I think it depends on the individual, not sure if there are issues with 12.5 being a sufficient dosage) 2. never, ever drink without NAL. this is a lifelong commitment

I had a horrible reaction the the NAL and felt like crap the first few days-went away after that and I'm fine. Give it time to work!

OK, so I'm not sure why I stopped taking the Nal other than I wanted to "enjoy" the buzz. My f..ing mind has been telling me that my life was better with a regular hangover versus a nal hangover. How in the h..l am I going to get cured if I don't take the pill. It started with "oh, I can have one beer to sleep and it won't hurt" most of you know the rest of the story. Thanksgiving Day and I was the one drinking in the evening. We ended a Turkey Trot with Bloody Mary's and I wasn't prepared with my Nal. So...here we go again. I'm putting it out there that "no matter what, I will not take a drink without Nal in my system. Ordering more from River. I think I need to try AF days in between so that I don't have so many side effects (same as Path's). The increase in muscle pain has been freaking me out. I'm not sure if this will work because of the whole deprivation thing, but if a Binge drinker can do it, it seems to me that it might work. Also, my hubby said I seemed to be in a much better "place" when I wasn't drinking. Of course he isn't the godsend that I thought he was. He is enabling and not really understanding how much of a struggle this is for me. He bought a case of wine and brought it home. I do much better with the alcohol out of the house. Sometimes I think he want's to keep me drunk. Anyway, I'm back. Got to keep trying! I will post tomorrow!

Keep up the good work Maxie

I know exactly what you mean about skipping the NAL cause you actually deep down want the buzz. After all, that's the what an addiction's all about, right? Two desperately conflicting desires - to be buzzed, to be calm and cool-headed; to be drunk, to be sober; to give up control, to get it back; you love what drinking does to you, you hate what drinking does to you, etc...

I actually had Dr Eskapa's book in my possession for a full year before I read it completely from cover to cover. Had a script for NAL for several months before I started taking it. And just recently, skipped it altogether many a time before I, like you, resolved (exactly 5 weeks ago) that I really wanted to get better and therefore, NEVER to drink without taking NAL first. Now my current battle is to wait the full hour between NAL and AL. But look how many steps it took to get to that! All I'm saying is that it might take you a few attempts to get on track with TSM, but keep persevering.

Best of luck, I will be following your progress! G.

I'm back. I would be too ashamed to post, but I read Gwyneth's last message about having to keep plugging away. I gave my husband a back up pill in case we are in a social situation that involves drinking. I also told him that he would need to support me on this or I was going to be calling him from an expensive rehab center. THAT got his attention. He has a tendency to make light of my drinking because he doesn't understand the battle that goes on in my head surrounding alcohol consumption. Our marriage is in a much better place these days, so I am hopeful that I can gain some control over this drinking thing. Quitting completely scares the hell out of me, so if I have to take a little pill a couple of days a week so that I can "choose" to drink, so be it. Nal is not going to kill me.......If I continue to drink like I am now, my health is going to suffer. Please let me hear from those of you who consider yourselves "cured" or close to it. Thanks, Mackie

Hey, "Regained Control" here. It worked for me -- check my progress thread.

Did you have "the honeymoon" when you started (a brief dip in consumption)? Did you have side effects? Hopefully you had both, as these are signs Naltrexone works for you. Remember, there are about 20% whose brains don't react to Naltrexone. Too early to say that with you since you stopped taking the pill for a while. Hang in there -- it's a long process.

My best,

Nick

Hi Maxie - Glad to have you back with us. You are not too broken. You needed to be ready to start this. I can so relate to what you are saying about being afraid. I haven't had an AF day yet because my alcohol addictive brain says, "If you do an AF day you will never drink again and I'm not ready for that!" So, you can see what you are feeling is normal. I'm in week 17 and I am just now starting to see some progress that I didn't think would come. I never thought I would ever get under a bottle of wine a night and now I am. So, my AF will come too. Just take the Nal one hour before the Al and in time you will lose interest in alcohol and no longer be afraid of losing the drug. That is what is happening to me.

Awe, thanks guys for your support. Still having a major struggle with the taking Nal before the Alcohol. I keep saying "just one more time, I'll start the Nal tomorrow. Tomorrow is here. I'm detoxing until Friday and plan on taking the Nal before a couple of drinks. In reality, I was waiting until after a half marathon, so that the vicodin kicked in at mile 10. I'm giving up running for a couple of months to focus on this alcohol thing. I also need to get more GABA as that seems to help my anxiety levels considerably. OK, so I eat healthy, exercise often and am in pretty decent shape (physically speaking) what I really need to do is focus on my mental health. I have been online all day trying to find psychiatrists who prescribe naltrexone and have been unsuccessful. I know that I suffer from depression and am possibly a bit bipolar, so I was hoping to get some professional help. It looks like this forum might be my group therapy and I'll have to order more Nal online. I did find a clinic in Phoenix who uses Nal, but it costs $2500 for a weekend and $6500 for two weeks. That's a lot of shrink visits. Maybe I'll find an open minded counselor that will work with me. My hubby says he will be supportive no matter what I decide to do. I can't blame him for having a good time and forgetting that I have a drinking problem. After all, it is my problem. I also have other "issues" or triggers that need to be dealt with. I have trouble making friends (as opposed to acquaintances) because I'm afraid of not being good enough. Time to go to bed...I am so glad you are all out there. Keep posting success stories, PLEASE.