Hey, for what its' worth Tambo, before I bacame a binger, back in about 1984, I was married to a guy from High School for 10yrs. He came home one day & just said "out of the blue< I don't want to be married anymore". I didn't believe him, we weren't fighting & I thought things were pretty good. Guess not. He took me for everything. Guess I was young & dumb. Took the house, furniture, EVERYTHING. I had no place to go & no $$$> Ended up at Mom & Dad's. Pure hell. Iloved that guy so much it felt like a nightmare that wouldn't end. I cried for 2yrs.. I guess that's when I took up drinking everyday. Now I just binge once in a while. So, keep your' chin up. It DOES get better.
ALWAYS, JANE

See Tambo? We need to find a nice gal like Jane, with a house, furniture and EVERYTHING.

I think you can tell, but Just so y'all know, I'm being facetious This crap passes......I think

Jane that guy was an idiot

You guys made me laugh! Thank you. I really needed that. I can't afford any high class prostitutes either, Joe (but I don't want one right now). I can't hate my ex right now even though I'm trying to. She didn't really do anything bad to me other than leave me at a time when I really need her help and support the most.

I really don't get it. I never verbally or physically abused her even at my drunkest. And when I was with her I would get drunk at the most once a month. I supported her in many ways including emotionally and financially. I gave her as much love as I knew how to, but it wasn't the way she was expected. She kept on asking me to propose to her, but because I wanted to wait until I was financially stable and had some more control over my drinking, she thought that I wasn't serious. She thinks I was never serious about quitting alcohol and that TSM is just another scheme to try to get her to stay with me for a few more months.

I think what hurts her the most is that I promised her over and over that this or that time would be the last time I would ever drink. But I would always inevitably relapse. She felt like every time I drank it was as if I was cheating on her. She feels that if I just loved her enough I never would have relapsed. Obviously she'd never been addicted to anything. I love her more than anything else in the world, but when that craving takes hold, it is just uncontrollable. It has nothing to do with love.

She told me many times that she loved me more than anyone or anything else in the world. Obviously that is a lie or she'd be willing to stick it out longer to see if TSM or some of the other medicines work for me. My definition of love does not include giving up on someone when they are desperately trying to get better. So I guess in the end, it is better that I find out our definitions of what love is are so different before I actually married her. God forbid I get cancer or lose my job. She probably would have divorced me.

Sorry that this post is so long but I need to get this off my chest.

oh, just that. no biggie. I HATE HER FOR YOU!!!!!!!! Where's Sam Kinison when you need him?

Man, laughter is the best medicine, well second best, the best is, of course........high dollar prostitutes

Joe, will you start hating my soon to be ex too. She's been going around telling everyone in town I cheated on her which is not true. Ugh, good thing I'm not drinking like I was a few months ago. Sorry for the hijack Tambo. This meeting of the he-man women haters club is now adjourned.

I'm not a woman hater. I love them. Just hate that one, oh yeah and Tambo's ex, and yours. that's three in the whole world.

I also hate Jane's ex as well.

No, I was a bit frustrated yesterday at the fact that TSM doesn't seem to be getting me past the half mark in terms of consumption, and my dog, and seeing this chick, who's a cool gal, she's just got bad taste in men

I don't really mean hate you know. and I don't really mean prostitutes. What I really meant was russian mail-order brides. I hear you can get a deal if you order 3 at once, 3 for the price of 2, and they're clean. Why don't we chip in and go for it guys?

I KEED I KEED!!!!! Lets just keep taking the Nal. forget about the past as much as possible

My EX went on to school right after divorce. used the house money. Got an insurance settlement of $$22,000. Never told me. I went to Lawyer. Too late he said. Also how could I even have known that for 1 year he had been seeing a divorce lawyer & I knew nothing! Hate him now Joe??? Ha??? Anyway, time does heal most things. It will heal yours' too Tambo. So now he is a local Chiropractor, blood-sucking people by having them keep coming back over & over.
Okay, I'm done. Thanks for hating him, Joe. You're a trooper!

Well said all, hearing your stories Tambo, Joe and Jane got me fired up about my situation. The past is the past. I won't use up too much of the present thinking about the past. Tambo my heart goes out to you. And you're right Joe, it should be the TSM exSO-haters club so we can include both genders and be fair. Jane I'm sure there are mail order husbands from Russia too, but I bet they drink alot of vodka...probably not a good idea. Oh the he-man club reference was one of my favorite episodes of Little Rascals... Gotta love Alfalfa, he had great hair.

Hey, SV. How 'bout a nice Italian Stallion? I hear they got BIG ONES! I like that. Too many Ballet' Dancers in Russia but, I LOVE how the look in tights! Oh boy, gettin' horny. bye, bye, now

Hi EX haters. I amnew here. My husband just started TSM and I am using this site as a guide.
I hope John joins in. I have been sober 3 yrs by other means, but that does not work for him.

Like Tambos EX I have stood by him through relapses and periods of sobriety
Where I thought we were going to be fine then WHAM it all faLs apart.

Your EX,s may deserve hating, but I will tell you as someone who has been in their shoes, the outside world advises them over and over that the only thing they can do to help is to leave you. After trying to help you in other ways, they will eventually decide that they are an enabler and you will both be better apart. There is SOME wisdom to iT.

If I were not also an alcoholic fuLly invested in researching the science of addiction, I would not be giving this method my belief. I would tell him it was another excuse to drink and I could not stand by him. Your EX,s outside advice is telling them this is all nonsense.

The best thing to do is accept the heartache. Go after your cure. Become a whole person capable of having a full relationship. You could not do that while addicted. Become a nonaddict. THEN decide if that EX was even the right person for YOU. A nonaddicted you may not even want the same person the addicted you wanted and loved!

Try again to recconnect when you are whole. That is my advice. I wear both shoes. I wish you first freedom from addiction and then the joys of love. Hate will bring you no happiness