I too plan activities with the kids more often these days. Even as a binger who already had multiple AF days, my mood is so much better around my family.

Hi all,

Well this week has had both ups and downs. I started the week finishing a heavy binge and ended the week with a lighter one. I'm not entirely surprised because my hubby left for another business trip and this has always been my #1 trigger. My biggest hope is that next week will not have any daytime drinking. My binges usually start in the evening and carry over into the next day. These are the hardest to recover from which is why I feel terrible again today I'm taking an AF day so tomorrow should be a good one

I also had a couple of days this week where I drank at night but had no interest the following morning like I do when I'm bingeing. I was still generally drinking more than I would like but this felt much more manageable and sane!! I was super pleased and I think it was a bit of TSM kicking in again. My compulsion on those days wasn't very strong either - it was super refreshing. I'm hoping, hoping, hoping for more of these days this next week!!! I've also had 2AF days. I'm ready for some more of these too!!

I've noticed that during the hour between taking the Nal and before I start drinking I've been less interested in drinking. Nal does have an anti-craving effect for me. Up until now I've always continued on to drink so I can benefit from TSM but maybe I should use one of those days to get more AF days. Any thoughts?

This week I'd also like to set some targets... no daytime drinking, at least 2 AF days, and to try to keep my units at 35 or under. I won't beat myself up if I don't get all three but I like try. It gives me something to shoot for!!

I haven't been on the board the past several days so hopefully I'll have time to check on all your updates. I so appreciate all the support you've given me the past several weeks. You guys are the best!!! BTDT

Hey BTDT, We seem to have some of the same triggers. My Husband rotates between 12hr days & 12hr nights. Nights are killers. I guess it's a feeling of aloneness for me. At least when he's home, (even if he's asleep in the chair) I know he is home. And then there's the dinner-out nites. Trigger#2. I wonder if we talk ourselves into a more positive mode that would help. It might just be that we're thinking negatively about it too much. ?
ALWAYS, JANE

Sounds like loneliness is a big trigger for you two, BTDT and Jane. Are you really less lonely when you are drunk? Or are you just lonely and drunk?

That may sound like a harsh question but the answer may be a clue to what you will do once you are no longer dependent on alcohol to solve some problems.

I drank every night, and always too much, to relieve anxiety. Well, guess what? The anxiety is still there but I don't cover it up with that buzz anymore. And it's much better this way.

Somehow now that I'm free of this horrible addiction I can face up to things and it's better - I'm able to actually think about what I can do about this part of my life. I'm more empowered to speak up for myself and actually not mind if my partner doesn't like what I say or what I do. Nothing bad has happened now that I am more independent!!!

You will find a way to manage yourselves when your husbands are away - once you become more indifferent to alcohol it will become easier to plan a better strategy.

Don't worry so much now - do what you do and let the naltrexone repair your endorphin pathway. Time enough to make plans for yourselves when you are farther along the path. Good luck to both of you.

Tough love, love it!

I see you been on the path for a year, can you share your progress?

Thanks

BGH,

These are all good questions to ask and I appreciate you taking the time to help me figure things out. Certainly anytime I've spent drinking or reasons for my drinking need to be dealt with differently as I progress. These are good things to think about!!

I'm not sure I would call what I've felt "loneliness" as much as maybe "abandonment". My hubby has a job that requires a lot of travel and especially when our kids were really young I found this difficult and stressful. He has always been fairly ambitious and we've argued a lot over the years about his work schedule vs taking time for the family. I would get frustrated and burned out being the only parent at home. I suppose I used the alcohol to "mentally escape" for a while. Interestingly, my kids are older now and, while we are busy, I don't find it as stressful. I think the drinking now is a trigger based in the old habit rather than wanting to escape.

I guess I'm different in that I've spent the past 24+ in therapy, AA, and inpatient and outpatient treatment programs trying to figure out "why" I drank. That's why TSM made so much sense to me because I truly believe I drink because I am chemically addicted and I hope my brain can be rewired using TSM. I'm not saying I won't have issues to consider if and when I'm cured but I'm hoping the ridiculous years of reflection will finally pay off Thank you for taking the time to share your experience. I want to start thinking about how to do things differently once I'm cured BTDT

Very interesting discussion. And I had to crack up BGH: HA!

I can tell you guys that I sank to my lowest and first started seeking sobriety or control after a series of things that included having my kids, most of my friends moving away, and then my husband would go out for "happy hour" EVERY Friday after work leaving me alone with the kids and not come home until 9 or 10, sometimes later. Couple that with me being off of work every other Friday and those particular days would be my worst, lonely drunkfests. Alcohol and a book substituted for being my friends. So anyway, I can relate to how that happens, and yes, I was just lonely and drunk.

Things are much better than that now, though I'm still working on building friendships and activities to fill in the gap.

BTDT and Jane, I'm confident you'll find what works for you!

Lonely AND drunk. Good one. True. I'm trying to work thru it too. As IL says, it feels more like abandonment. Trying not to reflect but, feels almost like the child (me) that felt so much abandonment then. I know, & I am moving on. Thanks for the push!
ALWAYS, JANE

So the week did end at 50 units with 2 AF days. Last night was another easy, easy AF day I wasn't feeling great in the AM but felt fine later in the day. In the past, that wouldn't necessarily keep me from drinking again but with only one very fleeting thought I decided to have a bowl of ice cream instead and went to bed early. Yeah!!!

Today the only thing I am craving is citrus fruit. Man, I even had to make a special trip to the grocery to get some oranges and tangerines. Weird thing is - I haven't eaten any in six months so what's up? It wasn't until I got home that I realized I'm low on wine and I hadn't even thought about picking some up. I like to think this is progress. Things may be different tonight but I'm enjoying the moment

Good luck to all in the upcoming week!! BTDT

It IS progress. no doubt. easy AF days are nice aren't they? thanks for the supportive words too.