Kris -- Go a little easy on yourself there. Think, yes! Overthink, not so much. Yes, go back to Eskapa's book often. Start with the cover : without abstinence, willpower or discomfort. We alcohol addicts find beating ourselves up is a hard habit to break! N101CS, Springer, Marbella and Potato all found success by sticking to basics. They found the desire to drink just sort of disappeared, exactly as Eskapa said it would. Of course we support you if you want to try to cut back. Just don't be too disappointed in yourself if you set goals and don't hit them. Just remember to be safe: No drinking & driving or operating a table saw either. You need those fingers for posting.

Boy, we are going to need to agree to disagree here.

Dr. Eskapa spoke about this and said there wasn't a problem with shooting for an AF day if you could, and a couple of stories in Dr. Eskapa's book suggest this as well. Trying for an AF day 6-8 weeks into the TSM isn't setting yourself up for failure. No one is keeping score -- if one tries and doesn't make it, then you are no worse off than you were before trying. Give it a shot again in a week. The only way to fail at this is to drink w/o taking Nal. Remember, we aren't all living in a vacuum with a book, but are at this point a living trial. Each of us are going to have experiences and insights as we go through this that will do doubt be of benefit to others in our group.

In my personal experience, I know how much of a moral boost it was when I had my first AF day. Alcohol is such a depressant. The morning after a bad night for me, I still feel horrible about myself and often question if I'm one of the ones who this won't work for. On the flip side, when I have those AF days I'm feeling on top of the world.

I spelled out my own experience with shooting for an AF day. Maybe it will work for some, maybe not. I'm finding that my craving level varies a bit depending on the situations I put myself in. If I put myself in a situation where I've historically drank heavily, my craving level is higher than if I go out and work in the yard or something (for example.). This is why I mentioned doing things to avoid triggers on the days you are shooting for AF.

[Quote Q]

Dr. Eskapa spoke about this and said there wasn't a problem with shooting for an AF day if you could, and a couple of stories in Dr. Eskapa's book suggest this as well. Trying for an AF day 6-8 weeks into the TSM isn't setting yourself up for failure. [/quote]

Thanks for chiming in Q -- I'm not sure we disagree. Some have achieved an AF day by setting it as a goal. N101CS had his first before thought he was ready because he ran out of nal, and was surprised how easy it was. I too say by all means go for it as long as it's not the end of the world if it doesn't happen. Marbella had a few false starts before she got an AF day done.

It'll happen for us all sooner or later.

Kris, Q is right in one respect: Don't let me be an Eeyore -- Give it a shot if you're ready!

Yes, I'm shooting for my second AF day, just half-way thru my seventh week. While I had a few cringes earlier, I just distracted myself with some much-needed chores, and am confident this is not going to be a problem for me. If I didn't actively plan to be AF today, I would have simply done what I always do at a certain time of the day: pop open a bottle of Chardonnay. But as I have planned it, and the Naltrexone has taken the edge off the unthinking compulsion to drink (YES!!!), I'm feeling really, really great to know I CAN NOW DO THIS!!! The unthinkable is now do-able. And if I can do it once this week (or twice - I'm gonna see how it goes tomorrow). . .it's only gonna get better and better.

Q is exactly right - there's no harm in trying, and no foul in failing.

Hi Eveyone,

Just wanted to update you on my progress after week 7. I am happy to report that my overall craving was a bit lower. I actually had one AF day! Even so, it was VERY difficult to ignore my cravings that day - I've found a reason/trigger to drink each day/night, often to accompany a favorite show, etc. Stupid patterns that I cave into without really thinking about what I'm doing, or if I truly want to drink or not. These old habits are hard to break, and I think no drug will erase them from my mind. This is something I need to work on with or without alcohol.

Anyhow, even though my one AF day was difficult, it wasn't unbearable. I also was able to stop myself from continuing to slam beers on Friday night, when I agreed to drive my husband home. It was only a couple blocks away, so I felt pretty safe risking it (all it takes is 2 beers to be considered 'impaired' in the USA/Michigan). This allowed my husband to relax and party a bit without having to be the responsible one for a change. He noticed, and I felt proud to help instead being a burden. Another thing I realized was that even though I still drank a lot (holiday weekend/free pass), I never became obnoxious, and I remember everything.

Overall, I feel really happy about this past week. My total units were down a bit, but I no longer use that to measure progress. I think sticking with TSM is what matters, despite the ups and downs. I have good feelings about this - my hope and positive reinforcement from every one of you is making a differnce in my life!

God bless you all, and let's drink to our combined power to prove that TSM works!

Gosh Kris, your story is nearly identical to mine, and we're at the same time frame of practicing TSM. My drinking is only slightly down (from an average of 10-12 daily drinks to 8-9). I have not been getting hammered, or having blackouts. Last night was an exception. Though I only drank 9 drinks, two of them were red wine - and that always has a stronger effect on me. While I didn't have a blackout, details of the end of the night are somewhat vague. How I wish this process was done!

One thing should help - my SO and I are going to cut waaaay back on the number of nights we hit our favorite little bars. We're beginning to realize that we don't really have that much in common with the folks we hang out with. We do like them. . .but things tend to get loopy at times, and that's beginning to get old. I suspect this one decision will lead to less drinking - to say nothing of saving us some money.

I'm concerned. Where has everybody gone the past few days? Are we getting TSM drop-outs?

Hey G4M -thanks for the reply!

I agree that our experiences with TSM are very similar. We're both seeing some progress, but nothing so spectacular that negates the need for some self-control. I know after reading the book, I was hoping this little pill would erase all the problems that led to my drinking addiction. The excitement and hope was so uplifting, but I was denying the fact that any real work was involved. NOT true!

Just tracking my drinking has helped me to recognize patterns and dangerous situations that maybe I should avoid until I have more control. For now, I'm trying to stop drinking at all in the morning (kinda sounds like 'normal drinkers', doesn't it?) Other than that, I still have to control/limit my supply when I allow myself to drink, because I don't trust myself yet. I only buy a half pint of liquor at a time, because it's just too hard to resist going farther when the opportunity is there - I still have a bit of the sneaking factor at play here, and am trying to 'listen' to myself before just getting another fill up. At least I am now pausing to think a little before grabbing another drink, and that's progress for me. Baby steps are OK - better than sinking back into the black hole that led me here.

I'll continue to drink for the best that is yet to come!

Hi Everyone!

I am quite happy about my experience with week 8. I only drank once in the AM, never got completely blasted, and managed an AF day yesterday without wanting to rip my hair out! I'm trying to make myself take one AF day per week now, and last week it was REALLY difficult.

As yesterday evening came around, the craving became quite strong around the time I had the opportunity to puchase more booze. In the parking lot of the store, I literally had an argument with myself about how much I'd buy and when I'd drink it. It's always a better deal to get a pint instead of a half pint, and being a penny pincher, it's tough for me to stick with the lower quantity. However, I do this because I typically can't stop after 8 oz. of a pint, and drink about 12 oz. instead. Knowing it isn't safe to trust myself, I just got a half pint, and figured I'd probably cave and drink it last night. BUT, since I was originally going for an AF day, I stuggled through the cravings for a bit, and it actually did get easier after a while. So, I managed to say NO, even though that half pint is safely hidden under my couch as I write this. I didn't touch it last night, and had no desire to drink any this morning! Now I won't have to buy another half pint after yoga tonight (an ironic ritual - do something healthy, then undo it right away with liquor ). So anyhow, I made some good progress, and saved a little money at the same time!

Amazing progress, Kris. I'm so glad you're here. You're an inspiration.