Way to go YG and Happy B-day. Don't feel bad about drinking less. It's not bragging it's just our little unscientific experiment here in TSM land. People need to see the good and bad. The ups and downs. Glad to see you are up and your drinking is down.

So here is the inevitable negative, after reporting too much positive. For no good reason tonight, I wanted to drink. So I did. Not too terrible, about 5 units in now, probably one or two more before going to sleep ... but I will pay for this tomorrow. I already know that my day will be wasted and that sucks. What is it that drives us, for no good reason, on any given day? (Actually, the fact that I am thinking that through is a good sign, isn't it?)

It feels almost delusional to justify by saying, "well I must be extinguishing some trigger" ... but I have high hopes that this will be followed by days or weeks of effortless AF days. And based on good results before, I don't think those hopes are unwarranted ... or at least I hope so!

YG

Hey yogagirl (one of my heroes). This may not help much, but your beat yourself up level of consumption is actually one of my goals--not trying to preach just saying it's all relative. You are doing great and have so much to be proud of. You've also been a source of support and inspiration on this forum. I know each of our recovery paths is our own but sometimes it takes eachother to put things in perspective

I'm opening another bottle of wine, my dad has cancer.

I"m so so sorry to hear that. If you can do your best to be covered by NAL (believe me I know how hard it is to think any modicum of rationally through these times) that's the best you can or should hope for. My mom died a horrible unexpected death last summer over june&july and I used it as an excuse to drink myself into oblivion daily-not saying you're doing that at all-just wish I had TSM when **** was going down with my mom

Damn I'm sorry St. Jude. Is it fixable? Hope you can stick with the Nal through this.

I'm so sorry to hear of your mom! Blessings to you.

I didn't go crazy, my hubby and I shared a bottle and a half.

I took Nal, thanks!

Thanks, StJude ... that does help ... a little. But I am a small chick, so 5-7 drinks for me really hurts (really, anything over 5 is a mess for me!) As expected, I have regrets today, especially because I feel awful. But, I will carry on and not beat myself up too much. All part of the process, right?

I would just try to be AF for the rest of the week, but I have a wine related event tonight. I am highly motivated to keep it to only 2 glasses.

Inspired, I am so sorry to hear about your dad. That is terrible. What kind and what stage? Is it treatable?

[quote="StJude]My mom died a horrible unexpected death last summer over june&july [/quote]

And StJude, I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Also terrible. These certainly are things would make anyone want to find an escape, ours just happens to be one that makes things worse in the long run.