Hello all, I have read the active posts and I want to share my thoughts.I too have the feeling I am fighting the drink. I am faithfullly taking 50 mgs 2 x per day (must cover the 24/7).

I did have a prior one month on Nal and off AL. I felt great! I felt less depressed.

So now with my drinking and TSM I am experiencing major (at times life threatening) depression. We know I am in a life quagmire, so this is to be expected. So I am confused if it is because of my emotional unstability, or the AL. Not a question, just a ponder.
So I have been doing my daily drinking and it seems to slow down at 5 pm, then I rather moderate, but am awakening at 3 and having a vodca.. I am open to other suggestions, this is the one that is working for me now. I have done natural remedies, but I am pulling out the big guns here, and not thinking it is very good for me. I do need something to help me sleep.

I am going to log progress (?) after getting a question answered about the units.

SO dear fellow SMs, I am keeping on, keeping on!

ART dear -
We have talked privately, and you know I have your back. I think every single one of us on here has depression in one form or another. Life is a roller coaster in general, and we "users" in whatever way, shape or form, feel the earth move even more imperceptively than the rest of the populus, I am sure. Color us sensitive. But remember, this is a heavy time for everyone. Raise your hand if you are NOT feeling the effects of the economy...add in general depression over your job or family or money or dating situation...and gee, would someone please get me a drink??!!

Never an excuse, but we do succumb. I hear and feel your pain. Talking to your friends in real life and we your friends in this forum, while so very helpful and thought-provoking...is not like a licensed professional you are PAYING to listen to your problems. Even a few sessions are worth it. They are a 3rd party removed and you are paying them and therefore, more likely to listen...at least I did.

Somewhere on here WaitingtoExhale is talking about getting some therapy b/c of her inability to get beyond her heartbreak nearly a year ago...I did the same thing. My friends were sick of hearing about it & their advice was always the same: "GET OVER IT!! HE's NOT WORTH IT!! etctetctetctec I knew & agreed - but the heart knows no logic. I am still grieving a year & a half later off & on. My therapist said if I was happy "accepting crumbs from this man then fine..." - I still struggle w/ all that and more.

Not to talk about me - my point is, I so want us all to be happy. If we can learn from each other, so much the better. I honestly think about this method, what I am doing and my new friends here many times a day. If that can bring you some comfort and hope, then hang on, girl! We are here for you. Do NOT do anything in desperation - I will PM you my cell phone and you can call me 24/7 to talk. You can hop a plane and come stay with me in Houston anytime.

I mean that. I really do. Hang in there, darlin. And that goes for any of us galpals who have formed a bond. Mi casa es su casa - xxxooo

Awww, ART, I ditto houtx here. Anyone going through the stuff you're experiencing would be depressed. Heck, I have days like that, and my life is finally getting back on course!

As an aside, have you ever tried Kava Kava? It's a totally legal natural substance that has, in the past, greatly helped my moods. While some parts of the plant can have bad effects on the liver (ugh!) the root of the plant does not - so you need to be very careful where you purchase it. I have had wonderful luck with Kona Kava farm out of Hawaii. They grow and process the plant themselves, and offer several products containing Kava Kava. (http://www.konakavafarm.com/)

I still keep a small amount on hand, and will mix it up on days when life is getting a bit overwhelming. Kava Kava, when taken with a daily St. John's Wort supplement, worked far better than any anti-depressant I tried (never could adjust well to those). Also never experienced any side effects whatsoever.

So many days later, I have been feeling good and my drinking level has definitely gone down. I am drinking about 1 bottle of wine and 2 or 3 vodcas during my 24/7 hours. In my normal drinking past it was 2 bottles of wine (at least) and 4 to five (if not more) cocktails. Hard to imagine how I possibly did that, and functioned too! I guess it's my good european genes. But now I want to baby them...soooooo

I have not been inebriated in months! I do not go to sleep and pass out.
I seem to stop drinking around five p.m. and have maybe a drink or two from then till bedtime.
I awaken in the middle of the night.....and I think "Oh did I do it again (was I drunk, did I argue?") NO! That is not what is happenning.I feel so goood in the middle of the night after YEARS of waking up and knowing I did it again. I am having a feeling of a beginning freedom from this quagmire of AL

There is a definitely a benefit from this drug and I am very thankful. I am taking it slowly but surely. I am taking 50 mgs 2 x per day to cover my 24/7 and I am not experiencing any bad effects from the meds, if anything I have a little feeling of med in my body, but that's true so why should I not feel it?
I am so here with you all, thanks for being here with me.

p.s. I say I have "0" cravings because I am always drinking when I want to, not trying to not drink at all.

p.s.a.
Girls I have been on an art project so I am involved with CREATIVITY, which is one of the main reasons I do not want to drink too much, I really dislike having my creativity stifled. I will get back to the fun page maybe later today. What happened? WE were on a roll!

Later today, I am editing because I was afraid of running out of wine, and now I realized I am not drinking and have not drank for 2 hours, and I still have 2/3 of a bottle. I write this to remind myself about the statement I seem to be slowing down the night time drinking and I really want to lessen my intake as I am not feeling good with the amount I am drinking presently.

Ohhhhh sooooo glad to hear! And I can't figure out the very simple (probably) way of sending PMs - so somebody tell me! It probably involves scrolling down or up or finding a tab I just dunno. I can answer them - not sure how to send them...But ART, I want to send you some personal info.

Now tell us about your symphony date!!

Houtx LOOK down here at the bottom of this message on the left there is a small oval box that has a (pm) in it. Just click there and you will go to a screen that you can write a pm.

no - all I see are "new topic" and "post reply"...


Later-

houtx,

Here's a screenshot of what you should be looking for:

Hope this helps.

Bob