I forgot to mention (I posted today and its on the second to last page) Can somebody please tell me how to fix my subject line. I'd like to get rid of (continues to week 15ish). I have no idea how I did it but I just want it to read "Jim Clark's Progress" the apostrophe would make it grammatically right yes? Best, Jim

Jim muh dear -
I am so sorry you are having these diFUCKulties...I am no expert, but really. TSM does not work for everyone and it may be time to look at other methods...I am going to try Topomax soon. But it could be you'd respond to a higher dose of NAL. I went up to 100 mgs NAL for 6 months. Just a thought. Baclofen is a difficult road to go...but many seem to have success there. Not me...

Bottom line: I'm SOOOOO sorry you are not being successful and getting the downfall from your wife. I got it too. Don't go out there and stick your head in your exhaust pipe, though. It will be ok. We will be ok. Your music will see you through. Wake up everyday with a new resolve (HAHAHAHAH - like I TRY to!!) and keep on keepin on.

I got your back, as do many others here, my man. Be strong & don't beat yourself up too much. Oh. And DON'T drive!!

XO

Hey, Jim old boy, glad to see you are still here and still trying your darnest. I am too. Up and down too. Having lots of AF days but then I get down and the old anxiety and unhappiness and desperation comes crashing down and I think heck I'm going to join the Mr. and have a few glasses.

Never makes me feel better, just discouraged. But always take my Nal and am always in control. I just wish I could find things to keep me busy, and out of the house more. I'm kinda housebound these days - depressed, very hot and humid here as it guess it is all over, and my best buddies are always very busy with their kids in summer.

I must get a plan!!! Anyway Jim I envy you your garden! We have so many critters here, and so many trees that every thing that does come up, in all the shade, gets eaten!! Glad you and your missus are still hanging in too.

I think I'll come back and post more - but won't hijack yours!!.

Hi Everyone.

From what I can tell, I started TSM September 13th last year. Wow how time flies.

Anyways, I thought I would keep my promise and remain AF on that day. That will be Monday which will get me through the weekend and many triggers (wedding and gig Sunday).

How is a 1 year cat doing on TSM some of you old timers and new folk might be wondering.

Here's the deal. I am not addicted like I was.....I'm in a precarious position of trying to understand what in the hell is/was making me self medicate. Boredom? Laziness? lack of direction? Even though I do music for a living, its just wedding and night club work. No fame or fortune. Very mundane. Rips a man's soul out a little bit at a time. I hope that my career won't kill my love of music and that little boy wonder that I once had learning "cold as ice" from my pal Jerry (also a piano player). hahahahaha

BUT Not to be crying in my wine (I'm having a glass of Malbec right now), but I have a relatively blessed existence. Older members had to suffer through my marital problems so I just quit talking about them. Well here's the update not that you asked.

She still thinks I'm totally abstinent but if I think there is a possibility (teen TSMers turn your eyes) of something romantic happening I make her a drink which usually works just fine. Ands thats been a nice aspect of not being totally falling down all the time late at night. But we are doing much better and she relies on me again as a partner which is a wonderful bonus and something I must document as you all know, last year at this time, I was thinking divorce.

BUT I still am having problems with over drinking. However, as I sip this wine, it doesn't taste particularly good and I can only say that these days, booze really,...the whole drunken show is becoming surprisingly trite, boring and the brain is beginning to get it. I do think though for me its going to be another few months and I intend to give it 6 more. The reason I want to hang in there is for other folk that take longer. It really becomes a very difficult marathon at this stage but bingo there I go,...I never would've been thinking like that if I wasn't TSMing. A marathon? why? BEcause I sense a finish line. Without Nal, I would just be punching the time clock and drinking my booze, blotto, repeat. Ad infinitum.

I currently average 6-10 a night. Maybe I should start a diary. I didn't intentionally because, A) I'm lazy and B) I was hoping that I could show the world that this program is so simple that all you have to do is take the NAL. I still believe that to be the case but probably better to keep a diary.

I'm also adding some herb and that has been a bit of a hinderance. I think if that's not an issue with you, no need to add it. I never really used it and now its becoming a thing with me. Every night I'll take 3 or so hits. I think it complicates the cure. When I don;t smoke I don;t necessarily miss it though.

OK I wanted to do a thorough assessment as to where I am as I know some want to know and I feel obligated to share to help teach through my experience. My love to you all for saving my life. And thats no joke!

Thanks for sharing the ups and downs. I'm just getting started but I'm preparing for a marathon. Btdt

Happy Birthday, Jim! we are still here and that is something. Who knows how long this may take actually...keep taking NAL, if you still do. It is the easiest damn drug out there for this. Bottom line...I don't think there is a bottom line. Some people win the lottery & some don't. Some people win money on scratch offs & some don't.

You're a musician (as I am) and I think all artists feel the earth move...the sky tumbling down...aw dat...everyone has their issues. We self-medicate out of habit. No need to look for inner past trauma, Jim. It is what it is. Good food, good friends, good drink...goes back to when we turned 21.

It just kindof amazes me that I am still here in relatively good/excellent health and drinking like a very bad, terrible, horrible, very bad person...with no probelems really, and ppl who live stellar lives are dying like flies all around me. What's up with that?! The shoe that is my life will drop soon enough...

Happy times indeed, Jim & Happy B'day & anniversary!! :-))

Geez, Houtx you too? We are almost all musicians in here! Ha! Jim we talked about reefer possibly hindering the cure. You said you don't miss it when you don't have it. I'm wondering what would happen if you just did away with those 3 puffs for a couple months. Hell, you might be hit with the cure like a freight train. On the rare occasion that I smoke, I think it does get in the way of the process, but then again, weed always made me drink more in the first place.

Happy anniversary and thanks for being here for us. You deserve the cure!

Keep going. It sounds like you are benefitting even though not cured. I'm at 9 mos and continuing. I can't really see that anything else would be a better approach.

Hi Jim
I just noted you saying how sick of drink you've become on the "burning" thread .
I know it's been quite a while that you've been chasing progress ( and getting it )
and wanting more . Indeed you started back in my main days . If Nal is having the noticeable effect you say , I 'm sure you'll get there .
In fact maybe I should really talk more of my progress it seems so slow I'd feel like I was hyping up a snail race . But there again its so sure and so late I'll start by letting you know here . When I cured I was generally at 4 drinks a night . Then over the last year it just evolved
down to generally three and now more recently I 'm taking two most often . Point being that even afeter a year , where you're at , this can keep developing .
Another thing I don't aim for AFs but feel like one or two a week with out effort . So you see
this might be what one can get , alternatively it could be longer spells dry as Bob or Q .
I've my sights on a three year progress scope now . I hope you'll think in a similar long term way and feel all encouragement .
Your job is one where you're up in front of others and out working evenings . Who knows that has particular pressures that mean we've got to look and feel together . I have similar situations and swore these occaisions had high extinction needs .
Anyway I 'm thinking of you getting up in front of that orchestra and rooting for you to get the best from NAl ? Believe it'll happen too .

hi Everyone,

Sorry I've been incognito.....Was a bit disillusioned and thought that my whining was not helpful to the board.

Update. Ran out of NAL after two kind board members hooked me up. I was able to tell my GP that I wanted NAL and tht I was worried about being labeled an addict. He was totally cool. Gave me some and didn't label me one. My friend Jerry hooked me up with some of his as well as he has been cured and says he will be posting soon. Says alcohol is a "non issue" which it seems is so often the case with cured folk.

I do feel so much better drinking on NAL. When I ran out of NAL,...guess what happened.....drinking ramped way up and I was having episodes.

Newbies,...disillusioned folk,...stay the course,...I'm 1.5 years TSM, and though not cured,...I am seeing progress if only a halt in getting slammed (although a pint of booze still packs a buzz).

I got some Campral from my shrink. He says I need to have a few AF days b4 I should start it.....I will report when I do.

Want to be active here again and share my trials and tribulations. Plus I just miss y'all. Please take care and My Best, jim