I wasn't exactly sure where to put this so..

I am working on a new company I started with a partner about a month ago. I am working 3 hours from where I currently live so I am staying at my partners house when I have to be there which is at least 3 days per week. I have a house in this city but I have rented it out until May 2011. My plan was to rent something short term, when the business took off, and then move back into my house when the lease is up. In the interiem I would stay with my partner.

The business is going way better than expected and the cash is starting to come in big-time. The last few trips back I noticed my partner and his girl fighting quite a bit, and you guessed it his drinking. By staying there, I am coming to find out they both are drunks. He is starting to disapear, not work, and drop the ball on his end bigtime. I talked to him very seriously about his drinking, mentioned TSM, and he more less told me he did not have a problem blah blah blah.

Last night was the kicker. When my partner and I came home from work he was like do you want a beer? Nope i'm good coke is fine or water. Well out comes the bottle of vodka and the beers. He was like Don't say anything about the vodka to my girl. He downs about 10 shots with 6 or so beers. Now his girl comes home. She's on him about the booze as SHE startes pounding beers..she was fired from job earlier. I left them alone and went upstairs to get some work done.

I went to bed around 9:30pm and awoke an hour later to screaming and yelling. They were both trashed. She was sitting on top of him choking him and biting his face. The blood was pouring. When she was done it looked like my 95lbs German Shepherd nailed his face but good. I didn't know what to do. I tried to get him outside to calm him down..no avail, you can't reason with a drunk thats drunk. He called the cops. The police arrive and question everyone, I said I saw nothing..wanted zero involvement. They cuffed this woman right in front of her 13 year old daughter like she was a degenerate criminal. The house is in the high rent distric and all the neighbors were watching. Off to jail she goes..my partner, ranting and raving and right back to the Vodka. I was like "hey man we got a LOT to do tommrrow and friday..chill and go to bed". Like that was gonna happen.

I went to bed got up and you guessed it..he simply couldn't make it to work. He actually went to her mom's, apphearhently she was in jail to 6am then went to her moms, and he picked her up. He needed to take off work and "work things out" with his love..LOL LOVE? Long story short we had some very important meetings pitching some potential investors..he couldn't post. I took care of one meeting..went very well and will take care of the rest of them.

He is out.I am no AA holy roller but I can't and won't tolerate it. I don't care what he does at night..screw his cat or drink to oblivion and fight all night with his girl, I can care less, it's not my business; but show up and be on your game for work - That is my business literally. I am now forming a new LLC and low and behold his name will not be on it. For him booze won and he doesn't even see it. The jerk had the odasity to blow my phone up wanting to know how the first meeting went..you guessed he got my VM and there won't be a return call. He said this morning " You used to drink a lot so you know the deal". He had every lame excuse known to man in the book of drunks why he drank and why it happened and the usual, he was soo sorry and it would never happen again...yeah I know that deal very well too. What he doesn't get there are consequences for his actions just like there were for mine in the past. I don't buy the AA crap of powerlessness...to me and for me thats an easy excuse. I beleive I fixed myself with the help of TSM..not the group bullshit. The group didn't wreck me, the group didn't fix me it was up to me to do something about it. I could blame no one or no thing just myself for my drinking and the behaviour that followed.

Yep I know the deal too well. That could have been me. THANK GOD tsm came into my life and restored my life. I AM VERY GREATFUL for TSM almost beyond words. Since not really drinking and not being drunk in like 7 months I am actually starting to develop an almost hatred towards booze to an extent..or I should say obnoxious drunkeness. I looked at the scene last night and kept thinking man that could be me. There by the grace of God go I. I cant beleive 11 months later after discovering TSM I am writting this and thinking this way. Naltrexone and TSM has been a miracle for me.

Wow... what a riveting (and tragic) story. Thank god for TSM, is right! And maybe one day your friend(s) will come around and follow your example? I sure hope so.

Hi Crown,

Would it be worth having a chat with him when he is sober or indeed when she is sober and talking again about tsm. We all know what its like to wake up the morning after a horendious night.

Mario

Crown,

I have to agree with Mario.

If nobody forgave me for the F-ups I've done in my life I'd probably be dead.

Not to say that a man that says he doesn't have a problem and won't consider TSM should be partner BUT,...if he got his **** together (or rather they), and did TSM and got better,...maybe .....reconsider IF
A) He agrees hes a drunk and
B) he tries TSM.

If it doesn't work for him then he's a liability . But if it does, give him a shot in 6 months as a limited partner. BUT,...only if he admits he's a drunk and tries TSM. But as well, I understand your point. There's some truth to tough love and well,...start your own LLC and good luck. So I agree with you in principle......

(BTW as we all know,...thats step 12 (passing on the info to others)....I for one think there is a little room for some of the better parts of AA stinking I mean sticking around ) Best, jim

PS riveting story though

Yep, I tried talking with him sober..I never try to rationalize when a person is drunk..lords know I have been there. According to him he has NO problem..blah blah blah...I said to him today so normal folks get aressted,fight have cops at the house etc?..he responds " well she had a bad day so we had a few...whats the big deal" As far as business goes I cant deal with it..been some other minor stuff also...as a semi-friend I would be more than willing to help him if he wants it.

Ok, I really need to come here more often. The posts are much more entertaining than MWO!

Crown - you are 100% right on with your instinct. Your partner of 1 month is a loser and you probably ought to diplomatically dump him. Anyone who comes home on a normal weekday and drinks like that, then gets into it with his gf who straddles him, bites his face to the point of drawing blood IN FRONT OF HER DAUGHTER...police and all that...that's just trailer trash ****. He may have a brain in his head and on some level be intellegient. But sounds like he pretty much blew it.

Partner as a house guest, vodka, beer, major drinking before business meetings, all that violence...what a story!! Your aversion to AL is not uncommon especially when it comes to scenarios like this one. I don't mean to insult the many people who struggle with the huge amounts they drink....nor the behavior, mood swings, bad decisions and all that. But the violence and the worst decision of all, to drive...is beyond nuts.

So amazed at how NAL has worked for you! Congratulations on your success not only w/ it but with your biz. Hope all continues to go well!

XO

I know everybody's going to jump all over me, but I swear I know Crown doesn't want to give this guy any 2nd chances. He's done. He's going to give the guy the book and wish him well and hope he finds his way out, but as far as Crown is concerned?? "Not on my watch".

Am I right? That's kindof how I'd feel - I'm done. Done my time. Go do yours. Try TSM for 6 mos & see if it gets you fixed. Call me when you've got 6 months w/o a police report or at the least have dumped that loser girlfriend who bites your face (!!!) Hopefully held a decent job (I'll write you a reference) and only get drunk once or twice a week (I'm trying to be reasonable here) and then it's...(write in your criteria here: amounts/days of week/etc).

Controlling? Yes - but this is his business partner we're talking about and if the guy doesn't like it, well, he can walk. Which would be kindof the purpose in the first place, I would think. Crown has built this business, put in the hours, done the homework, ALL the other work from the get-go... and been drinking nothing but Coke ZERO from what I've read. He's ready for the presentations, got his act together, and then enter the AL demon...this drama happens at ground zero!! What a nightmare. We're talking MAJOR MONEY he says he's starting to make that is about to be blown by this guy because of his idiocy. I'd be pissed!

I'd want to get out of there as fast as I could run and never look back. That's just my take...

I have to agree, one can only help somone who wants to be helped- is that an AA saying. Ive told a neighbour and a friend about nal and tsm and went as far as getting a months supply to her but she didnt take one of them and continued to drink to the point of being taken to hosp in an ambulance and is being forced out of her home this morning by her husband. Im an alcohlic myself but I dont blame this man one iota. He kids dont need to watch the **** she pulls by night and then watch her tearfull shaking and apologetic the next day only to do the same crap two days later. Alcoholism is a disease yes but at some point one needs to at least try to get help. I hope I dont sound judgemental towards this woman but Ive done all I can as far as showing her this siteand explaining tsm. I even told her I would get out of here to give her privacy if she tried nal, but no she is not a real alcoholic and doesnt need any help. As far as she is concerned she just needs people to get off her back and leave her alone. Sadly she gets her wish today.

I have to agree, one can only help somone who wants to be helped- is that an AA saying. Ive told a neighbour and a friend about nal and tsm and went as far as getting a months supply to her but she didnt take one of them and continued to drink to the point of being taken to hosp in an ambulance and is being forced out of her home this morning by her husband. Im an alcohlic myself but I dont blame this man one iota. He kids dont need to watch the **** she pulls by night and then watch her tearfull shaking and apologetic the next day only to do the same crap two days later. Alcoholism is a disease yes but at some point one needs to at least try to get help. I hope I dont sound judgemental towards this woman but Ive done all I can as far as showing her this siteand explaining tsm. I even told her I would get out of here to give her privacy if she tried nal, but no she is not a real alcoholic and doesnt need any help. As far as she is concerned she just needs people to get off her back and leave her alone. Sadly she gets her wish today.

HouTx

You nailed it dead on. I hate to say it but the word you used loser is dead on. Not because he is a drunk but because he has blown this deal over getting drunk...yep and like you said keep it to the weekends or once or twice a week, I honestly don't care how often - just be at work 100%. Yeah when the guy is sober he has a brain and is very good at what he does...but if the booze and drama continues to happen he is not that good and a major distraction and hinderance. The sad part about him he was strugling financially, I had some ideas to put in play, and we partnered. The ideas are working in such a short time way more than I anticipated and his financial world would have been on solid ground by mid oct. Christ he almost had his elctricity turned off a couple weeks ago...You would think he would do everything in his power

HouTx if I rember reading somewhere you are also self-employed so I know you know the deal cold on how much mistakes and blown oppurtunities cost and hurt..ie NO PAYCHECK NO SECOND CHANCES. You are right I will give him the info, i already have he doesn't according to him need it...I am A OK with his decision..not mine to make for him.

TSM gave me my life back and for that I am eternally greatful. However, for the 2.5 years preceeding TSM I was a disaster, dictionary defined. I was never fired simply because it's hard to fire yourself - when your the boss of yourself you beleive your own bullshit, however the pay sucks - you don't get any. I was so bad I barley worked, I couldn't I was too drunk too often. But I kinda knew I was bad and "hid" from the world. I did not want to make a complete ass of myself on a business level to people I knew in those circles so I left them. I mad a SERIOUS ass out of myself with friends and family..but thank the lord above not my business circles. NO ONE in business would have dealt with me drinking the way I was an forgiven it...it would have taken one time and bye bye.

The purpose of my post was kinda of two-fold; 1. I am venting over being angry with my now ex-partner and 2. I have a serious amount of gratitude that IT'S NOT ME