i've posted here and there, now finally an official weekly progress thread, yea!

i am a daily beer drinker, (light flavorless, bad beer, i go for quantity not quality!) now, and pre tsm about 10/day. this is mostly in the evening and i never get smashed, or out of control, no drama, just quietly checking out at home every evening, can't stop once i start.
i have about 35 years of drinking behind me. (yikes, so many years) gradually increasing each decade till about 7 years ago when i was at about 12/day and i quit for 2 years. i was trying to figure out if my depression would abate without the constant depressant of alcohol. no such luck. more depression and much more anxiety ensued. i have social anxiety, and during that time it was almost impossible to interact with anyone, even good friends. i was beyond miserable. a brief stint in aa was absolute torture, worse than worthless, a completely toxic experience, 'nuf said.

i started drinking again when i moved to a new city. it was too hard to stay quit, and i figured that without the social lubricant i would never go out and make friends. 5 years later my consumption has gradually made it back up to near my upper limits, but, unfortunately adding al wasn't a complete solution, and i still spend a lot of time alone. it's a good thing dogs are such good company.

so, very happy to have found tsm. i have ordered online as i don't want al in my medical history. i did get my liver checked first, and thankfully no bad news. i did have side effects, nausea, tiredness, and a few vicious hangovers (which i normally never get). i also had a week or so honeymoon of drinking almost 40& less.

now at week 13, i know i am having a slightly different drinking experience, it tastes different, the buzz is different, but i am concerned. i seem to be craving al earlier in the day, mid afternoon now, when i used to be fine with a 5 or 6 start time. i am also noticing that even after having my full compliment, it doesn't feel like it and i start wanting to add carbs or sugar. this is not a happy thing. i am not over weight and hate hate hate it when i put on weight. last time i quit drinking the sugar and carb cravings were constant, this despite working with a holistic doc who had me on a million supplements.

i know everyone will say stick with it! and i intend to, for a year or more if needed. but i am wondering if anyone else is having some of the other issues i am having. i don't know if these are nal related or not, (could be those pesky hormones) but thought it can't hurt to ask. i have been feeling like i am in more muscle pain than is normal for me. small amounts of exercise or a chiropractic adjustment will result in days of sore muscles. i also feel like i am having sinus issues like allergies. i live in a highly allergic place, but these symptoms persisted when i went on vacation to two completely different environments, (mountains and north west coast). i am also feeling even more remote or disconnected than usual, this is hard to put into words, but it's sort of like feeling anti-social, and kind of numb.

what i also need to say is thank you to everyone here. so many intelligent caring supportive posts, and especially thanks for the humor. it would be so much harder to do this without you! this is an amazing group and i feel happy to be a part of it.

thanks all,
with fingers crossed,
path

Hi Path -
Kindof an oddity I checked in tonight and read your post. And...no real words of advice at all!! After 35 yrs of drinking, I sooooooooooooo identify w/ you!!! We are sortof coming around the bend it sounds like...just reaching a fork in the road of our "journey" and need to see it through. Sounds like we are doing fine. Great even.

And I think it's so typical and normal to question every little thing. So let's just take it one day at a time and try not to be introverts. Let's do the best we can and keep on with these websites b/c they sure do help!! You seem to be doing great with NAL & TSM and I am so happy for you and others that it works for. I have faith in TSM but it didn't work for me...I tried BAC (ugh - hated it) and now finding success with Topamax.

So hopefully there is a drug that will be helpful to so many of us who struggle...I am drinking way less than I did and feeling an indifference to AL (sortof/more or less/LOL - definitely w/ my appetite!!LOL) So that's good. And I am trying to "work it" w/ vitamins and being in tune with the subtleties of the medicine.

God bless us all and however we are seeking solace...
XO

hey houtx,
i've been wondering how you are doing with topamax, and so glad to hear it's good news!!!

we are sharing the same weather this evening i think. i so love this warm windy rainy squally weather. must be all the years i spent in new orleans. after all the air conditioning i love having all the windows open and hearing the rain.

best to you on your journey, keep posting!
path

Path,

It sounds like you have more time in than I do - I just finished my 2nd week but my reaction to the meds is similar. I feel unusual muscle aches, sinus issues and feel distant. I figured that the distant part is my limited endorphins. Not too much excites me but I figured it is a small price to pay for getting this problem under control. When I am ready to take more AF days it expect will come back in a better way. Certainly, my reaction to AL is more subdued and this can't be a bad thing. Right?

I appreciate you sharing your experience. I helps me feel like you I'm not alone. Glad to have found this group too. BTDT

Don't know what to say about the SE's but it totally sounds like you are on the right track otherwise. My Se's went away in the first couple of days. But if these effects are tolerable and you seem to be on a classic "honeymoon period followed by a spike" trajectory then maybe it's worth it? but only you really know that.

Houtx is a fine example of someone who, in the end, TSM didn't work for yet she's found something that IS working. Let that be an inspiration and don't worry too much, if the SE's screw this up, try something else, I believe as long as we all keep trying, we'll get there.

HIJACK ALERT!!!! Houtx! I'm so happy to hear topamax is working out for you! I'm gonna go post in your thread now

Yeah y'all - stay the course on TSM though. It's a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG one but for many it does work. I'd say stay for at least 6- 12 months upping your dose at some point to 75 mgs then 100 mgs...

Don't even consider these other drugs until you've gone to the end of the TSM path. This little mssg will not be heard by very many but I hope you ppl will spread it. It's really true and important.

6-12 months basically on TSM. It will drive you crazy if it doesn't work, but if it does...it will make you sick in the first few days...and that's pretty much a given.

XO

week 16. the good news is that i am back to my normal pattern, drinking in the evening, and no longer craving in the early afternoon. that really freaked me out . as my numbers haven't dropped much at all, i have been so worried that i have been reading zillions of old posts trying to find old successes that didn't include progressive drop off's in units throughout the process. i hear reports that it can go that way but i am having a hard time quantifying that here. i sure wish there weren't so many folks who stopped posting during their process. did they have success? did they give up? or did it not work for them and they just didn't want others to know? if any of you are still lurking, please speak up! inquiring minds want to know also, if you have had success after keeping your units essentially unchanged, please please let us know. thanks!

as to my progress, this last week has been a little better numbers wise. i made two changes, i have dramatically reduced my trazodone intake. i use this for sleeping, and to reduce teeth grinding at night, and have for years. i am very surprised and happy to report that i am both falling asleep and staying asleep just fine with 25 mgs instead of 100 mgs!! i made this change because it was suggested by a doctor friend of mine that this antidepressant may interfere with naltrexone. next step is to stop taking it altogether, perhaps after this week. hopefully more exercise will be enough to stave off any drop in mood, thankfully the weather is getting nice these days. the other change i made, which i wish i had waited to do, was to up my nal dose to 75. now if i have improved results i won't know if it was the nal or stopping the other drug. oh well. i just needed to do something besides worry. about it. so far i have not seen/felt a change with the higher dose, almost 1 week into it.

next i'll have to start using some effort. that is a muscle that doesn't get much of a work-out in my life, so it will be interesting to see how that goes. i'm going to start small, like waiting a bit before opening the next beer. wish me luck. i am also starting to realize that all of this may require some sizable life changes for me. i am finding now that what passed for entertaining (like tv) while i was checked out with al, is not nearly as interesting with a less addled brain. looks like i may need to go out and get a life… yikes. i wonder, how does one go about that?

best to all of you! thanks for all your contributions,
with fingers crossed, and reminding myself yet again, al +nal+ patience = cure
path

Hey Path, we are the same number of weeks in. I have read in other threads that some people think there appears to be a link between the number of years of heavy drinking and the time to cure? I am not cured yet...but I feel it is close. My units per drinking session stayed high for many weeks. The first sign of change was the odd AF sneaking in. Even with the AF's my drinking was still very heavy on the days I drank. It's only in the last few weeks that the volume per drinking session is dropping too. I honestly think this thing will work....it's just a bummer that we can't predict WHEN it will happen. Re your comments around CARBS !!! I too went through a few weeks recently where I thougth I was going to rob a cake shop !!!! I too sought advice from others as my eating was out of control. I am pleased to report....it seems to have been a "stage" of the process...and my eating is now back to normal. I hope you too, have found this.

I wish you all the best and look forward to reading your progress.

Kiwi

thanks for the response kiwi,
your progress has been amazing. you may be right about the af thing being key. it sounds like others have had the same experience. i wish i could even imagine an af day. i think my two year break from al where i had such extreme anxiety and depression makes it hard for me to face even 1 af day. hopefully i will get there soon.
as to eating, my carb craves have eased, now i am having nausea a hard time eating at all! i think it's unrelated to nal and hopefully won't last too long. crazy that my food aversion doesn't extend to al... i think it's just like when i was a smoker i still wanted to smoke even when i was really sick just because my brain associated smoking with feeling better.

thanks for the support,
best to you,
path

Don't worry too much about the AF days path. The opportunity will present itself. It was 5 months before I started seeing that and even now it hasn't happened that often, but I do know it never happened before TSM. I have done some "I am going to take an af night tonight" nights, but hen I start thinking about it too much, i just take a nal and drink. Sometimes I've even taken Nal and planned to drink, only to find I didn't want to in the first place. It's a strange thing, this TSM business