Hello Maybe you have seen me around here & there. I know you guys all love a weekly progress report. Being a binger, I find that very difficult. Here's the story. Drank for neigh on 30yrs. Started with hard stuff after divorce. Got into too much trouble. Got angry at bar tenders ripping me off by diluting drinks. Switched to wine. Can't dilute that ha? Long long story short, I relate to ALL of you. AA scared me. Stopped by for visits but couldn't stay. Felt like a crumb. Came across TSM. got book, read book got script, started 6-11 2010. Had initial honeymoon. Nal did not make me ill at all. I have kept quiet because I'm afraid to speak too soon.But I'll bite the bullet. Pushing thru my 3rd Mo. now. Had some spikes but not bad. Something just clicked in my brain when I found this site. I have been "lurking" around & I'll say I've learned much. After honeymoon I had a couple of spikes. In almost 2Mos. I've been able to gain more control. Not there yet, but big big changes. Sinclair WORKS. I believe in it wholeheartedly. Still just reluctant to admit it may be too good to be true. I think in my case it is now a matter of me taking on some responibility & just try not to think of it as so important. My big triggers are dinners out, & feeling sometimes lonely, or whatever. That is where I need to stop & think. Don't get me wrong I bet if I let myself I could drink Hulk Hogan under the table! That being said, I really feel the "switch-hitter coming on. After yrs. of drinking (and I mean yrs.) it"s hard to believe & I am still sceptic so I don't want to "blow the horn" just yet. I want to see what 3 more mos. will bring me.
Joe12pack JimClark Bob, you guys are great at putting words together. You"ve no idea how often you make me laugh.
What happened to BEN tsm.?
Thanks for all laughs & inspiration from everyone.
I FEEL YOUR PAIN
JANE

Glad you're making progress. I've been wondering about Ben myself. He wasn't on facebook for a couple of weeks either. He posted something the other day and He "liked" my wall post today though. It was a happy birthday post from a couple weeks ago. I've PM'ed him and sent him messages on FB. I'm sure he'll surface soon. looks like you're really making it with TSM

Hey Jane your progress sounds fantastic! I started TSM at the same time as you and am also enjoying some good progress... And like you, I'm also convinced this thing will work!!!!
(I think you replied to one of my posts about increased eating as alcohol consumption drops??? If that was you... How's the carb intake? I've finally got mine back under control... But only just. Lol).

I look forward to your next post.

Kiwi

Hi Jane. Good to hear from you. I started about two weeks after you did, and like you, I'm starting to have a few breakthrough moments. I started a six-pack the other night, and the first sip of beer (Newcastle, even) did not taste good at all. I'm not quite to the point where I can just put it aside yet, so I kept drinking and eventually got through the whole thing, but that and the occasional evening when I just don't feel like drinking tell me that this stuff is working. I still feel I have a long way to go, but thanks to this board and the dedicated people here who help each other, I think I have a good chance of making it. Thanks for posting.

Jane: I know what you mean about making a proclamation too early. Plus I never thought this would work at all, only to find out after a year and a half, that it works too well. Just let a lot of time pass and you'll finally have to admit that this treatment works for most folks eventually and it continues to work even after you're cured.

Bob

PS Me put word together good

Hello again, Prgress is being made, slowly. I do try to put in effort, by saying to myself okay, tonght I have 2 or whatever. Sometimes it works & sometimes it doesn't. Have noticed that I get drunker on a lot less these days. Husband has really stood up & noticed. However, I am also experiencing hangovers with less AL also. Used to be able to do a lot more before that would happen.
Looking forward to the day when I can "confidently" blow the proverbial horn for the WORLD to hear! Definately not at that level yet.
When I look in my daily journal I see a lot less consumption. So that's a good thing.
Guess I'll go out & take in some of the sunshine before tomorrow brings in the NEW ENGLAND fall. Or maybe we'll go right into winter w/o fall as it sometimes does here.
Bless You All & Sending Out Positive Vibes!
JANE

Take in that sunshine! sounds like you're doing great. don't beat yourself up if you drink more than you planned. it's all part of the treatment! that's the best thing about TSM There's absolutely NO guilt trip Keep going!

Thank you Joe. Is it common to have hangovers on less booze than before? I try not to beat myself up but when you've learned well how to do this from chilhood & people you love & trust I guess it just gets ingrained. I've been pushing thoughts that have become Sinclair obsessive out of my brain. I was easily doing that. Not healthy. (neither is booze)
Typical N.E. day. Went out for that sunshine & a black cloud desided to follow me to the beach. My luck.

Yes, I have seen several posts here about hangovers happening from less alcohol, but I never experienced that personally. I say try not to beat yourself up, but I know it's hard for some. For me, after my last relapse in AA, things were different. I said "**** it! I am NOT dishonest" ( I had always called my sponsors and admitted to drinking every time) honesty has always been my best character trait. I'm not 100% honest, but more honest than most, and people who are close to me would always tell me that when I was in AA, and I would think, "gee that's true, but I'm supposed to be a lying sack of ****" so I would search for ways I could think of myself that way. Well, this time I said NO MORE OF THIS SELF MUTILATION! and searched for a new way. I can honestly tell you that conscious the decision not to beat myself up and be powerless anymore was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Keep it up! You're doing the right thing. I will say that for me, being obsessed with TSM has been a good thing. It keeps me from forgetting to take the pill and logging in here makes me remember I'm doing the right thing. but whatever works as hey say (and do not practice) in AA. just take the pill. that simple. don't worry about the rest of the freudian bullshit

I can only comment on what I've heard about AA. To me, not good. Posted elsewhere, I went to 1 meeting at a Catholic Church up the road at the time. I was DESPERATE! A well-known & much-loved Priest gave me the AA Book & said get to it. He died shortly thereafter. Then we moved to Warwick Rhode Island for 4 yrs.. Tried 2 of those meetings & walked out feeling like the most pathetic, stupid, spineless, & tota;lly worthless human that ever walked the face of the earth. Hated it! Moved here to Dighton, attended a few more. Didn't like it any better. My then, GP, suggested I go to some private meetings at the office on off hours. Reluctantly, I went. Not for long tho. Everone there & I mean everyone that may have been sober for 1 day was paralized with fear of relapse! Some even said..---- it! I know I am going to drink. Can't stop, don't care. Sorry as I've said I do tend to stretch stuff. Sometimes it is because I know there is no one in my world that understands. Or doen't want to. I've found my HOME here! Don't let me go & I won't let you give up!
I've said dinner out is trigger. Maybe because Richie does so many hours at the Power Plant that the few times we can spend are not often. Tonight, we had dinner at our favorite place. Will not have a full day together til the 30th. I do find switching drinks helps. For instancs, I'll order a merlot. Don't like it much but, cannot drink it fast. Helps. Rich likes beer. I do not. That can stay in fridge til I may hit a trigger & even tho I hate the taste, I will down whatever is there.
So much for the alcoholic.
Thanks to all for being a rock!
PS. I would really like to work a system like this to help others in the furture. Something we all would have appreciated a few yrs ago.
Talk to ya soon, & will keep progress going.
6_11_2010 Start date.