Last Sunday night, a flash of insight hit me -- naltrexone was actually working! It had crept up on me completely unaware.
I was thinking back on the past week. On two different evenings, I had left a tall glass of vodka and grapefruit juice on the rocks unfinished -- the entire freshly-made drink, in one instance. This never used to happen.
Then there was the picnic party. I tried the rose wine -- cloyingly sweet. A couple of sips were more than enough. Next I switched to a dry white, one that I usually would have had several glasses of, in rapid succession. But it just wasn't appealing. It was actually taking will power on my part to consume the inch of white wine I had poured in the glass. After a second glass -- also only an inch full -- I gave up. I just wasn't enjoying it. And it was so hot, I didn't even consider the red wine -- normally my favorite.
Finally, I reflected on the past three days. On each evening, I'd had only three beers. Not because I was consciously cutting back, but because it was all I wanted. And suddenly it dawned on me -- eleven weeks of naltrexone have 'unlearned' my desire and ability to binge. And, it has subjectively affected the taste of alcoholic drinks.
Yuengling Black & Tan beer -- my daily staple -- tastes slightly thin, metallic and bitter. Not objectionable, mind you. But that sweet 'elixir of the gods' perception supplied by my drink-addled imagination has evaporated. In its place, the mundane reality is much less seductive than I had thought.
The ultimate test will be what happens when I get high on cannabis. In the past, getting high has meant a binge would follow, because cannabis just takes the brakes off my alcohol consumption. Strangely, though, naltrexone seems to be reducing my inclination to indulge in cannabis (which, unlike alcohol, exerts no compulsion on me -- I can take it or leave it, without remorse or craving).
Naltrexone really does not agree with me. I suffered side effects (insomnia, bizarre dreams) for weeks. But the results -- in one 'ah-ha moment' ambush -- have become obvious. I'm sticking with this. Thanks for all the insights on this forum. And for the compassionate genius of Dr Sinclair and Dr Eskapa.
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