As I dive into week 19, not cured, bottle in hand, I need to know how the cured cope, manage, enjoy, deal with all that new non-drinking time? I've had glimmers of feeling cured and I think my physical craving for alcohol is almost completely non-existent, but (and this is a huge BUT) when the sun goes down I always reach for the bottle. I reach for it because: 1. I'm afraid without my security blanket 2. Checking out/floating away is enjoyable, simple, easy. 2. I don't know what else to do. 3. And so on.... All of these reasons are strong, powerful, clingy mental things and I don't see them going away anytime soon or being extinguished by naltrexone.

In an attempt, to banish some of the above, I've taken up an evening yoga class (I just end up drinking when I get home). I've introduced a few evening crafts (I just end up drinking and doing the crafts).

Pre-TSM, when evening rolled around I'd get anxious, cranky, physically uncomfortable until I got a drink down my pie-hole. But now 19 weeks into TSM, evening rolls around and I'm in a good mood, I feel clear-headed, not physically itching for a drink, BUT I still enjoy drinking, relaxing, getting tipsy, and it is familiar, so I end up opening the bottle and drinking every single evening. Will this mental ball and chain diminish, too?

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DOMD, thank you so much for sharing what you've learned and what you are doing. It sounds like I need to impose a little discipline and try an AF evening and see what happens (I've been thinking about this since the beginning, but have not tried it yet). I've been taking Dr. Eskapa's book literally, "no willpower", so I don't actively or forcefully do anything other than take naltrexone one hour before I drink.

The only way I will achieve an AF day is if I eliminate all the alcohol in the house which won't take me too long, since I only have a a bottle or two of champagne right now, I think.

Thanks again so much!

I sort of followed a progression as I wound down my numbers. First I decided to see if I could wait until dinner to have my first drink, instead of popping a cork the moment I got home. The transition from taking a Nal at work so it would be effective by the time I got home was a huge first step. I was literally afraid the first time! What if couldn't wait the extra twenty minutes after I got home! Then I just drank normally through dinner and the rest of the night.

Once I got to the point where I was not stressing about waiting until 5 to take my Nal and waiting until literally sitting down to my meal to open and pour that first glass, I decided to attempt to nurse my after dinner drinks. Actually, that happened pretty naturally... I just slowed down and sipped. That was pretty much my only effort: "Sip, not gulp."

After a pretty long while at that, I got to the point where I'd nurse one glass through dinner, then have a second watching TV with my wife. These days, when I drink (typically one day a week), that's what I do. Maybe when the weather's hot it will be a single beer with lunch on the weekend. Hard to guess.

As to AF, it just happened one day. I did not plan for it. I just literally thought "well if I want to have a drink, I need to take my Nal" and then thought, "Nah." Surprised the hell out me how sort of ordinary it felt.

Anyway, Like DOMD said, as is so often the case with TSM, the questions/assumptions we have going in have a way of evaporating or becoming moot before we figure out the answer. Early on I thought I would have to substitute glasses of water or something else for wine, and NO WAY I can drink as much boring water as I'm drinking wine now! Yet somehow I never had to. Substituting water for wine was something I did in desperation, in the past, when for some reason I HAD to abstain for a short period of time. Now I just ask myself "wine tonight?" answer "Nah" and have a water with dinner and maybe one more with popcorn or while watching a show, or working on a web site. I don't feel the need to trade waters for wine on a one-one basis like I thought I would.

Likewise, the evenings fill with reading books, working on the web, watching tv, doing projects I could never do in the evening before (too inebriated).

Good luck. It will come to you.

I de-cluttered my house and got busy doing the things I always wanted to do. Played guitar more, signed up for lessons. Spent more time with my family and became reliable for things. ( not always great). Tried to win the lottery but not obsessively. My kitchen looks great for the first time in ages. I reorganized many things. Most of all I breathe and feel connected to something greater than me more and I am not talking religion.

My life activities just fill up on its own without too much effort on my part. Almost all the things I neglected over the years of addiction are now fixed or replaced. I now have pride in my house, my car, my own appearance once again. I plan and do things at any time of the day without scheduling them around "drinking time". Drinking time doesn't exist any more. I read more and more importantly I remember more.

Bob

Im not even close to being cured yet but I notice even now that things dont revolve around drinking time. This weekend was a beautifull weekend in Ireland and I had no problem spending time out in the beach, walking the dogs and just generally enjoying time without worrying about my drinking time. I have drank but its nice to see it been only a part of the weekend not the whole focus of the weekend. I still cant wait to be cured though.

Free time? Wow these days I have none. I work almost full time at a job that is good but a little demanding and I am in school as well. Add on guitar lessons and the rest of the family obligations and I want to sleep for months. I need an assistant! It is hard enough figuring out what to wear and getting out the door. Best wishes to all!

These days I have so much to do running my business, playing music, sailing, taking walks with my sweetheart, it makes me wonder how I ever found the time to drink before . . . Then I remember: my business was failing, playing music meant cracking a beer and pressing shuffle on my ipod, my boat was full of old beer cans, and my sweetie wasn't speaking to me. Oh I found the time to drink alright, but I forgot to find the time to live.

It's amazing how all of the interests of life, plus a few new ones have come back full swing now that drinking is not an issue.

thanks, guys, for all your comments! what i really can't wait for is when everything in my life doesn't revolve around drinking. last night, while still in the honeymoon stage, i actually didn't feel like drinking. i even smelled the open wine bottle to see what i was missing and to see if i wanted any. it just didn't do anything for me, so i said, "wow! i guess i'll go to the bookstore and get that book i've been wanting to read." it was my first AF day in three years and i remembered that there is a huge element of society out there going to bookstores at night because they aren't at home (or out) drinking as their evening activity. of course, today the honeymoon ended and as i write i am on my third glass of wine. yet, it was really hot here today, and i didn't have any problem delaying my drinking until after i took a later than usual walk. very strange. i'm glad that i still wanted to drink tonight, because i'm not yet nearly ready to give up my good friend, alcohol. yet, i'm excited to think that with this program, he doesn't have to be my only friend. i'm gonna keep drinking till the miracle happens! cindi