As an alum of addiction recovery (sedative-hypnotics nearly got me to an early grave), I know it's SO helpful to keep track of this stuff... even if it's like measuring grass growing. On bad days, it helps us see the big picture (which is usually positive, when viewed from 30,000 ft). On the slow, boring, uneventful days, it helps us be mindful that we are on a journey, even if the landscape appears unchanging.

Things are slow, boring, and uneventful for me at the moment. It took me about 10 days to get comfortable on the Naltrexone. Mostly daytime drowsiness and nighttime insomnia. Now, my only remnant side effect is bad dreams. And, as I think I mentioned elsewhere, I'm not worried about those because there is no worse nightmare than addiction. Nope, not even the one about the parrots coming in through the oven and attacking my dog.

I no sooner reported that my cravings had waned (BIG karmic mistake!), than they returned with a vengeance. Goodness, I could drink a swimming pool of Cabernet right now. Fortunately, I am only in possession of one of those little 500 ml cardboard thingies. And while I don't like to log 3.67 units for the night, it's unlikely I'll have a hangover or any explaining to do tomorrow. In fact, I'm making some good progress on a research paper.

I'd planned to cut back a little while the cravings were low, but they've rebounded so I won't push that issue right now.

My life as a drunk is indeed rather boring. My drunk activities are mostly research, writing (I wrote my dissertation drunk and, for the most part, it was quite good), and listening to music. If it weren't for the liver and brain damage, there'd really be no problem. Heh.

Hi Lady,

I'm glad to hear that you are making progress. It is ironic, but typical, that your cravings returned after you said they had waned. My cravings waned this past week, but I still found myself drinking due to outside influences. I really wasn't in the mood to drink on Wed. night, but I did because my co-workers invited me out and my husband wanted to drink. I'm not blaming them, but it makes me realize that I'm still weak when it comes to resisting alcohol at times.

I like your comment that "there is no worse nightmare than addiction." I hope your bad dreams stop, your dissertation kicks butt, and you continue to get better.

I had some technical issues and lost access here for a while. Well, I'm back. Nine weeks in now. Not much change in the amount of my drinking, but some notable changes in my alcohol experience.

The BEST thing by far is that I no longer get amped up on alcohol mania after I have my evening drinks. I used to be up until all hours because I got so revved up on a few glasses of wine. Now, I have my 3.67 units and go to bed. So obviously, with adequate rest for the first time in years, I'm feeling a lot better.

Unfortunately, I am dealing with a very negative spouse who loves to lord it over me that I'm a flawed drinker, while he is not. The gains I am experiencing are not receiving resounding applause. Good thing I am not a wilting violet -- my self esteem comes from me, and me alone.

This is a slow boat, however. I am still acting on faith that there will be at some point a quantitative reduction in my alcohol consumption! I am not seeing it yet.

I worry a bit about placing the added burden of Nal on my liver, in addition to daily drinking, for a long period of time. I'm carrying on in the expectation that this will prove out to my benefit in the end.

Hope you are all thriving!

LOTN

HI LOTN (And G4M)

I also have an unsupportive spouse more interested in saying "Gotcha" than listening and seeing the improvements.

Its too bad because when she was out of town., I did quite well.. In fact, better in most instances than when she is here.

So the only thing I can say to folk that are being drilled 12 steps and "see it doesn't work you just want an excuse to drink" is to try and keep the marriage together and hopefully in time, the proof is in the pudding. If there's nothing to hide there's nothing to hide and they will be forced to accept our new found cures and control.

That's my only solace as I still have to hide my booze which makes for poor timing and choices sometimes.

I find that gulping vodka makes my throat close up now which years ago it didn't but I think I had this experience pre TSM so it may be more a case of losing my tolerance as I was trying to drink less pre TSM. But its like I'm having an asthma attack for about 1-2 minutes where breathing becomes very difficult after about 30 seconds into the swig of Vodka. If I chase it no problem....does anyone else have this issue? Again a few years back this would not have happened.

Furthermore, I wouldn't be swigging and sneaking if she let me drink openly and I bet I would be farther along but the psychological mind F**k of hiding which is as we know classic alcoholic behavior, is not helping the cure.

Oh well, best, Jim

PS Sorry for semi hijack of thread