Hi All,

I was just talking to my dad today about my brother and HIS drinking, a conversation that has been going on for over 2 decades now. I have always been the critical older sister telling everyone to just stop enabling him so he would hit rock bottom and have to quit (I always considered my drinking in a separate category than his since I have been highly functional, and he has often been not functional.)

I feel judgmental and stupid now handling it that way, because it is really the same affliction, just a matter of severity. He has the same genetics and history, the same neurological drive to drink. He couldn't quit even if he tried (actually he did in 4 months of court ordered AA once, but of course he did what we all do, started drinking again.)

Without the gory details leading up to now, he is currently living with my dad. He blacks out, gets crazy obnoxious and sometimes hurts himself (falling, staggering, etc.) He has crashed cars, lost jobs, been in and out of jail, gets thrown out of bars, and more. My dad just told me he drinks a 750ml bottle of vodka every day, which I believe is around 20 units per day, 140 per week.

With that said, he still doesn't see his drinking as a problem. He has no intention or desire to stop. I think he is killing himself. He could kill someone else. I had hoped that if I could significantly cut down my drinking using TSM, I could invite him to join me. But I can't imagine him even reading the book, much less even considering that he should make a change.

I share this because I wanted to hear from people who were closer to his weekly units and were helped by TSM. Any advice? Thoughts? How can I save someone who doesn't want to be saved? Is there any hope if you don't go looking for the solution yourself?

Thanks!
YG

yogagirl, I feel your pain. see my thread about my sister viewtopic.php?f=7&t=1539

but we can't even figure out what drugs she's on (we do know she's been doing coke and some kind of diet pills)

I also have an uncle I've been trying to get on TSM. he consumes mass amounts of liquor and is around 45. overweight and probably not going to live long. there are about a half dozen others close to me whom I care about and who need help as well. for me, the sad news is the fact that I really can't do much for them until i get my own problem licked. How can I expect someone else to put as much stock into this as I have until I can be living proof that it works? and even then, a person has to want to change. my sister, despite the fact that her child is obviously overweight, has a speech impediment from still having a pacifier at nearly 6 years old, and has a mouth full of cavaties that have gone untouched for so long that he will have to be put to sleep to fix them (and she still hasn't made that appiontment) will never admit any wrongdoing and does not want help. we are now talking to lawyers and starting the long road to taking custody of my nephew from her. absolutely heartbreaking. geez i know i'm long winded, but maybe that's why I'm overzealous about TSM! I hope to God it works for me.......and for you........so it may have a chance to work for them. lets keep up what we're doing! You're doing the right thing. meanwhile check out this guy. http://www.youtube.com/user/NaltrexoneNotGod he is hardcore and fun. TSM seems to be working for him. he is known around here as BenTSM if he gets cured it could help a lot of people i think.

Joe, thanks so much for your response. It sounds like you and your family have been through hell with your sister. And I feel so sorry for her child. We have some similarities there too ... my brother is not taking care of any of his three kids. Alcohol problems can be so devastating to a family and you are dealing with your fair share of devastation.

I agree that we can't really go trying to cure anyone else until we are cured ourselves. I always get so excited when I find something promising ... I want to share it with the world! But, that is premature. I need to get through the next year before I can try to make a difference for anyone else. Thanks for the reality check on that!