Grew up poor in a small town in Pa. Often shunned by friends parents because of that. Many were not allowed to play with me. Told this story in an AA meeting and my black friend said “You grew up nigger”. <leave it in-the context is significant and not racist> [By admin: see note below] That was alcohol's earlest attraction and a strong one. When drinking - I got accepted. My family was dysfunctional, with little money and seven kids. Out of seven, five did well and two didn’t. My sister claims she was molested by my dad and there was a lot of shame in our house. No immediate family alcoholics. I found alcohol to be a useful tool to get into the inner circles. Drinking and pot parties were the one place I felt accepted and if I wasn’t accepted, it didn’t bother me.

Joined the USMC shortly after HS. I was smart but no money to go to college. Caught the back end of Viet Nam. Went in country twice. Heavy drinking environment. Lots of dope but I preferred drinking. Did a little pot/acid but always preferred alcohol. Got out of the Marines as a Sgt and enrolled in college in Tulsa. Drank my way through a student loan in one year. I started to think maybe my drinking wasn’t normal. I had joined the Navy reserves for some extra money and they convinced me to take the Nuclear field qualification test. I qualified and they convinced me to come into the Navy in their Nuclear Power Program. Got married and after 3 years training, I went to a sub in Hawaii.

First four years I was pretty crazy. When I was not at sea, I was home drunk. I would bring other sailors home and we would drink. I wasn’t much of a husband.

1980 I started skydiving. The jump environment was conducive to hard partying. I was obsessed with jumping and became a jumpmaster in a year. Became good friends with a drunk jumper. All my friends were drunks since non-drunks do not associate with drunks for long. He started going to AA and would go in and out on a regular basis. We also both became pilots together and he went on to be an airline pilot.

My wife got pregnant and when my son was born I convinced my skydiving friend to take me to AA. I stayed sober for 4 yrs and in that time I transferred back to the US mainland, became a Drug and Alcohol counselor and got a degree in Psych (BS). My wife divorced me after I became an upstanding citizen and father! It actually unbalanced the relationship but I did not understand that at that time. She would go into fits of rage over anything and hated that I loved my son. She said I only changed for him which was true but does that matter?

After my stint at counseling, I went back to subs and started drinking again. My boy wasn’t around and he was why I initially got sober. Plus, I was unable to get laid without going to bars and guess what else you do in bars?

I drank for about two years and returned to AA for about 3 years. I met my present wife in AA. She was coming to meetings with her boyfriend but they weren’t getting along. She was totally enamored whenever I spoke and started flirting with me. Being 13 years my junior, I did all I could to avoid her, but she won out. We have been married 20 years and she is the best thing that ever happened to me.

We had two daughters together and I got sober again in early 1993 before our second daughter was born. I retired from the Navy in Kings Bay, Ga. and started a small business doing Auto-cad. I had bought an Apple II+ when my boy was born in 1982 and started teaching myself programming, eventually learning an obscure business language, Clarion.

I had sent resumes in two different directions, Nuclear power plants and programming. I was offered a position at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in Atlanta, Ga. We moved to a little town north of the city where we live today. My life took off after the Navy. My ex-wife asked if I would take my son and my life became complete. (He graduated college in 06 and is my story of pride) I got an MSc in MIS and later an ScD in Information Technologies from Emory U. After six years I left the CDC and started my own consulting business. I did well and survived the dot com bust and actually benefitted because of so many competitors dropping out. In 2004 I was offered the director of R&D at a company further north of the city and could not turn it down. I had been driving into Atlanta for 11 yrs and the commute was excruciatingly painful. I welcomed the drive north.

I travel on occasion to gather specs and would go to Mexico, Brazil, Panama and S. Amer. It was there I returned to drinking after 12 years clean. For almost 2 years, I drank but I never got drunk. I just stayed under the “craving limit”. I would drink about 2 or three drinks at most. It seemed that I intuitively understood that as long as I did not awaken the craving, I would be okay … and I was. But eventually I would awaken the beast and I could not get that mean genie back into the bottle. In my own way, I was practicing the Sinclair method, au natural. Rather than extinction, I was not triggering. But I would eventually party a little harder and once it started, I could not seem to unring the bell. That is not to say that I could not go on dry ups for months at a time. I could, but I would always have that pebble in my shoe nagging at me until I drank again. And for those who have gone to AA; remember how they always say that the disease grows - even when you are sober? Well it seems that they are right. I went from beer to wine to hard liquor which I drink essentially straight.

Things were getting bad around last Christmas. It seemed the only relief I got was from going on the road. I drank a lot less when travelling but only because of the business demands. I was thinking of going back to AA but only in the neighboring town. My pride would not let me go to my old place.

Someone was advertizing a book on TV about an easy way to quit drinking. I did a quick search on the internet one night while drunk and found Eskapa’s book and ordered it. I was drunk when I ordered it and only remembered it when it arrived. I read it fast and was at first disappointed that it involved a drug. I wanted some magic spell. I checked around about who was using Naltrexone and found Break Addiction Dot Com. I called them and found it was a 10 month treatment program to the tune of $6000. I asked about how they administered Naltrexone and after some interrogating, I discovered that it was used to maintain abstinence, also with AntiBuse and other drugs. They also had mandatory counseling and kept emphasizing that my insurance would cover it.

By now, I had learned from Sinclair so I took a Friday off from work and went to my MD and got a prescription. That was over a five week ago(2 years ago). As they say, the rest is history.

We are a very happy family, inspite of my drinking. I have kept it compartmentalized and would normally start my drinking late at might.
I maddly love my wife. She says she has never doubted me since I always turn the worse situation into an advantage. She thinks I am remarkable and brags as such. How could I not love her? My kids are in high school and my son has a good job as a programmer on the other side of the city. We camp and hike and last year I bought a Harley Springer Softtail which explains the moniker, SpringerRider. I am blessed.



By admin: We will NEVER edit or censor language that is quoted in context or otherwise spoken with no obvious offense intended.

Wow - Springer
What an amazing story...I am curious about everyone's details and so appreciate that you went into yours here. mmm mmm mmm ....I am envious of your relationship with your wife...you are both very lucky people. I also understand/appreciate the fact you have kept your drinking hidden from your kids. Of course, your wife knew, but she knew the territory, loves you and accepted "in sickness and in health"...

You've led a big life, lots of fun, adventures, found love and have kept it...happy but want to conquer the demon...no doubt too many times gone to bed after crashing on the couch...felt guilty you did not hold and love and make love to the wife after the evening news like most folks?? I dunno - I was there, but my husband didn't do that either...

Thanks for your story. I was wondering when someone would go there. I am about to...hope others will as well.

Thanks for your kind remarks.

I figured someone had to light this candle.

Hey SpringRider,

I've had you on my mind for several days - we miss ya, buddy! I just re-read your remarkable story here, and wonder how 'the rest of the story' is going for you? I know you're probably busy on business trips, enjoying the Ride, etc. - but we really appreciate your input.

As you say, 'hint, hint.'