I disagree. The majority of people can have a few drinks socially and be fine. Just because we have problems with it doesn't mean everybody does. The difference is, you don't get together over dinner and shoot herion or do meth. that being said, I do think it should all be de-criminalized and marijuana should be totally legal

Thanks Lena. I´ve enjoyed your posts in the past. I wouldn´t have a problem with AA if people weren´t forced into them (courts, therapists, etc.). Forcing a spiritual program on someone can be considered rape. I think it should be your own liberty to chose what program works for you. RR would second that statement. But if you read between the lines of RR, you´ll notice that they want to have a monopoly over addiction (exactly what they reproach AA for).

Having TSM available....has been a godsend for me.

I agree with both of you on your views regarding the selfishness comment. Maybe I can rephrase that better: We were displaying selfish behaviour.

I love my wife and children very much as well. Regardless of my wife being worried and crying, regardless of how many sports events I missed because I was hung over, I drank anyway. I knew it was wrong, I knew it was bad for me. I knew that everytime I over-drank it had the potential to kill me. If it had killed me, my family would be devastated. My children would grow up without their father and have to deal with death at a young age. Driving a car can kill you too, but it's practical, reasonable and most times a neccesity - drinking is not.

That's aside from the point of the amount of money we all were spending on alcohol that could have gone towards something else. I could have bought my children many new things. Hell I could have bought my mom a new car with what I've spent. It was my money, and mine to spend how I chose, but I think we all agree it was physically and mentally unhealthy and absolutely not necessary, or else you likely wouldn't be here.

I also hate alcohol I get sick to my stomach every morning smelling the staleness of it on my lips and sometimes even on my clothes. Although by the evening somehow my opinion changes, and it sounds like the best thing in the world. That's the mental aspect of it I have to break away from.

I know it's an easily debatable point and we probably won't see completely eye to eye on it.

I just wanted to add one more thing. I'm not saying we are powerless, and I'm not saying we are bad people by any means.

I'm not doing TSM to make up for past mistakes. I'm not doing it to make myself a better person. I'm not doing this to undo all of the wrongs I've ever done to myself or my family. The fact is, I was already a good person. I can't undo all of the wrongs I've ever done, and making up for past mistakes has nothing to do with reducing or stopping my drinking.

I'm simply being honest with myself on how my past actions have been perceived by others, justified or not.

So many people seem to think that AA is wrong to say we're powerless. Gee, I sure felt powerless. I now have the power but only because naltrexone has been eroding that pathway in my brain. Before I FELT powerless, regardless of whether I really was...now with naltrexone covering my back, I can move forward.

I don't think EVERYTHING AA says is off target. In fact I see for myself that TSM is only the beginning of my pathway to a good life without booze. I miss drinking terribly and I find it very hard even with my 'cure' physically. It is more complicated than just pathways in the brain, and it certainly is different for each of us. The rats be damned! I'm screwed up emotionally, and the rats weren't.

The whole world is wrapped up in "choice." Sure I made the choice to reach for that bottle when I was 16 but did I have a choice really - I was a skinny, shy teenager - that choice was not made "freely" now that I look back. I "chose" booze because it helped me - besides if I had the power why didn't I use it? If I had the power for the past 30 years why didn't I use it then? We can only make a choice if the options are clear. I "felt" I had no option but to drink. Now that naltrexone has got my body on the right path, I can see what the options are.

Anyway I guess I'm letting semantics take over here...but let's not make blanket statements. Have a great weekend everyone!

I like to point to crown86 as an example of how TSM works ideally in the worst of cases. He was at a very low point when he began. He had been told he was at risk of dying from alcohol abuse. He had trips to the emergency room and emergency detox commitments. His personal life was in complete disarray. He began TSM and as drinking habit waned his personal life started falling into place as he dealt with issues without the yoke of alcohol. He faced some grim life crises and found he could deal with them clear-eyed as a normal, healthy, well-adjusted person. He decided he did not need the antidepressants and therapy he had deferred until he got his alcohol consumption under control. Now: Life is good for him. And he has a devoted dog.

It doesn't always work like that but if we just relax and let things fall into place the odds appear, from the many stories here, to be in our favor. The beauty of TSM is in its simplicity.

With deference to crown86; I hope I was faithful to his own account of his experience.

You're right lena. I'm wound pretty tight most of the time and tend to over-think and complicate things. Going with the flow is something I need to work on. Thanks for the insight, and I hope everyone has a good weekend.

Lena

You did perfect. Couldn't have said it any better myself.Powerless? For me I don't buy one bit of it. Every single rotten time I reached for that bottle I made a choice...yep I was addicted or whatever but I still made the choice. Wrong? Sure it was wrong. I was slowly killing myself mentally and physically. I am a huge beleiver in pull yourself up by the bootstraps, god helps those who help themselves (I am far from a holy roller) and there is a consequence for every action in life. I personally beleive We all have the power of choice. As far as hurting people around me...yep did my fair share. Today I say so what.I dont want to sound cold because I am not..I am just not going to beat myself over it. When I was a drunk I could beat myself for days upon days or weeks as to what a lousy person I am. I am a human being and human beings make mistakes drunk or sober and actually even hurt each other sober. When I was a drunk my applogies for my behaviour were hallow. They had no substance because anyone on the recieving end knew it was good until the next time I got plowed. I essentially went into a self imposed exile so there were very few people I spoke with but those few people today now accept and beleive my applogies for the simple reason I am no longer a drunk.

As far as a choice I still maintain I had a choice everytime I drank without TSM. Just prior to TSM I went a hair over 30 days of abstinence, by choice, after a few bad drinking episodes and I swore I was done. It didn't last and when I fell off the wagon I fell hard. Not because I was powerless but because I had a choice to fall off the wagon. When I finanlly said enough is enough..the proverbial bottom... I CHOSE TSM by my choice. I could have chose to continue drinking like a lunatic and eventually let it kill me slow. At that point I had zero fear of death and was so depressed it was crazy. Christ I figured dying..hmm you'll be drunk and blacked out and wont remember it anyway, you'll just wake up dead and be like so many other times..wondering and trying to figure out how the hell did I get here?..LOL. I never been that low in my life. I was completely alone..meaning no one living with me dating me etc to break balls. I chose to help myself by ordering the book and the pills. Thank god they worked. They made the power of choice very strong. I agree alcohol is a bitch..no doubt...but for me I will always maintain it was my choice one way or the other. I just happen to like the consequences of TSM so much better. If I had no choice I could never had quit smoking...just quit recently...IMO smoking is way way harder than booze for me. Yep smoking is an addiction no doubt but it's my choice to fuel it. Yep it hurts like hell to quit but it's suppose to...in time I know it will go away that will be that. For me..it's a choice.

Lena - as far as therapy and anti-depressants I have done both in the past...but one day my therapyst said if you want to continue to drink the way you do why bother with lexapro and seeing me. I decided yep good point see ya therapyst. I had every intent to go back to therapy and start anti-depressants again after I got booze at bay. I was almost counting on the fact that would have to happen. I was convinced I was a mess, booze or no booze - inside and deep down I knew the booze was the culprit but I really beleived I would be on anti depressants and therapy again and had no qualms over either. Right before I declared myself cured a funny thing happened from not drinking...I was fairly happy again. I was again in tune with the old me prior to my drunk days. When a bad situation occured in life my old thought process kicked in and my mind was SCREAMING whatever you do DON'T DRINK..I listened.

When the booze was first gone or getting under control I mentally felt strange like who the hell am I now? That thought changed to this is bullshit you know exactly who you are and what you have to do. I thought to myself what me made so successful in the past financially mentally etc? I actually wrote this stuff down and put myself on a schedule filled with discipline and accountability to myself. The old cliche of one foot in front of the other. Everything began to fall into place. It was weird and painful following the plan I put in place for myself which was nothing more than living healthy and normal and disciplined. At first I was on cloud nine..now it's just life but i am happy and content and again have peace of mind. I would have seen a therapyst and taken anti-depressants no problem if when the booze was gone I felt remotely close to the way I felt when drunk. It was amazing booze gone and so was my depression, lack of drive motivation etc. In essence I gave myself a second chance and got my old life back. I did not need therapy nor anti-depressants. I can not stress enough I am not agaisnt these at all nor knocking them one bit if i needed them I would have done it in a heartbeat, for me, I didn't need them.

I was very happy I had acheived success early in life from the standpoint I had a focul point on which to build to return to. I thought, I had the habits before, I can surely put them back with a little work and effort on my part. You did it once, it's in you, you can do it again. This time I will not let booze tear me apart.

Lena and yep that damn dog of mine was like the last catalyst of turning everything around. At this point he passed both tests is now a therapy dog. He was a challenge and still is. The advanced obdience training was the best therapy I ever had. It was funny my dog, a german shepherd 1.5 old, would do everything right away for my trainer and not me. She said the problem was he didn't beleive me..meaning I lacked confidence in myself. I chill went up my spine. I thought damn this trainer just pegged me..LOL. From then on I built my self esteem and confidence back and lo and behold my dog became a model citizen. People on the beach ask if I'm a trainer or where I got him trained. So much from training corelated to my life as a person it was crazy...that was my therapy after booze. I am by NO MEANS perfect just a content human being today with peace of mind.

I will be drinking 2 beers at about 2 PM tomorrow. I´ll take nal at 1 PM. I will be drinking again at about 8 PM (always at a bar on Saturdays). The book says 50mg will cover you for 24 hours. Should I take another dose of nal at 7 PM anyhow-just to make sure? I don´t want to ruin any progress I have made. Since on TSM, I haven´t drunk alcohol twice on the same day. Any experience anyone?

Thanks,
Fred

Direct quote from Eskapa when I asked the same question yesterday: "Yes if you start early and are going all day after 10 hrs take another 50 mg." so I would only take another one 10 hours after you took the first one.

Thanks! Another worry I have, is if a double dosage will block our receptors longer than 24 hours. Do 100mg mean that our receptors are blocked 48 hours? Sunday will be "wash out" day, but I would like to work out on Monday (endorphine-activity). I don´t want to destroy positive activities. I read the half-life of nal is 72 hours, but total blockage of receptors only 24 hours. What is there to expect with 100mg? How long would the receptors be blocked with 25mg? Sorry, if this has been discussed before, but I feel bombarded with all the information from the search-machine.