Thanks guys, and I will admit that AA is part of my journey and I think after TSM works for me I will share it with more people who didn't make it in AA. The whole ADE thing and the guilt of AA makes people really give up hope once they relapse(even before they do), and I think that contribute to deaths and tragedies. they say AA ruins your drinking forever. That is true. and not in a good way. I enjoyed the link someone here posted to the orange papers.
http://www.orange-papers.org/ although it's a bit one sided and I think it should give credit to AA for some things it brought to the table in recovery.
I did enjoy the company of other alcoholics recovering, and agree what group therapy and discussion is very helpful. but it's the absolute truths some of these people buy into that I don't get. I was refreshed that after this relapse my sponsor said "you know I take a lot of the big book stuff with a grain of salt" "I actually go to yoga way more than AA and find it to be more beneficial" so there ARE some open minded people in there. "he even said of his sponsor, "He needs those absolute truths to hang onto" but his sponsor was making assumptions about me without even asking and didn't listen. it's just that open minded discussion is discouraged in meetings and other methods are rejected prior to investigation. it even says in the big book that "someday science may find a cure" and it warns of "contempt prior to investigation" then people say "you'll die if you don't"

when referring to AA, and they outright reject any new ideas. even Bill W never stopped looking for new methods. he dropped acid with aldous huxley for god's sake. Bill kept searching and all these people were stuck in the 30's
also I think these days there are a lot of addicts in AA, and for a crack addict, buying into absolute truths and fear tactics may be more necessary,

as death is often more imminent. all I know is those fear tactics just make me want to prove " I can drink without dying" and I have, and I didn't die
