Hey there!!

Well, I’m a bit hesitant to divulge too much about myself here however, I guess I’ll start with some of the basics. Especially, since some of these other diaries have helped me.

I am 36 years old and have been drinking (20+ years) since I was 14 years old. By the age of 16 I was drinking every Fri. and Sat. and by my early 20’s I was drinking a few days a week and often going on 3-4 day benders.

Up to my mid-20’s I would have considered myself a highly functional boozer and was extremely active, did very well in college, etc. However, after college I began to drink even more until drinking became a daily activity and soon everything I had started to slip away piece by piece. Luckily, the one thing I have been able to hold onto is a good job.

I have been a daily drinker for the past 10 years, although there are spurts of sobriety. It seems as though I have been on the same cycle for the past ten years and I’m ready to get off. My drinking/sobriety cycle is basically, I will drink daily about 6-10 drinks a night, mostly beer and wine, for about six to nine months until I gain about 20-40 pounds and then I would get sober, get healthy, lose that weight and then start drinking again 3-4 months later. Repeating the cycle over and over and over. The problem is as I get older it is much harder to maintain this cycle and I’m finding my spurts of sobriety to be less in duration. Now I struggle to get through the first two weeks of sobriety and to even remain sober for a month.

When I am sober I always have that fear of when or if I will start drinking again. In fact, each time I start to drink again its actually kind of a relief because I no longer have to fear when it’s going to start again. I take the fear monkey off my back and replace him with the alcoholic monkey. ohhhh.....I loathe them both!!!

When I am drinking it’s all I think about all day long……when am I going to have my first drink. Watching the clock until I can get off work and pick up my booze fix on the way home. I have never been a moderate drinker and there are probably only a dozen times in the last twenty years where I only had 2-3 drinks and I doubt I ever had just that magical "only one" drink. Once I have a drink the only way for me to stop is to drink until I pass out.

I pretty much thought I was a lost cause. I have considered AA, even have a very close friend who has been successful and sober for five years because of AA, however, I am a borderline atheist and have a very hard time accepting a program that oozes spiritual mumbo jumbo, especially one with a track record that is less than stellar. More importantly, I want to banish the “fear of relapse” monkey that is always on my back when I am sober while also placing a leash on the alcoholic monkey. I feel that all AA will do is try to keep the alcoholic monkey in a cage while the “fear or relapse” monkey remains free to dance on my back forever. I apologize if none of that made sense……..basically the only way I will conquer this dragon is saddling it and riding it through the help of TSM and not caging it as a result of AA….hahaha…I ‘m on a roll.

Okay, now for the diary. I started TSM on 3/6/10, however, I began a diary of my units consumed a week before that. I am also ordering NAL online from different pharmacies. Cost is not really an issue for me (luckily I have managed to stay employed), however, I am still kind of a cheap a-hole. Thus, I will try different sites until I find one that has 1. Reliable Quality 2. Reliable Shipping and 3. Reasonable cost and will include what brand from what site I am using in my diary.

I could probably get NAL through my doctor, however, I believe the American health care system is truly broken and that ordering NAL through my insurance company will likely cause me issues if I ever decide to change insurers in the future. I know people who have been denied insurance for a lot less than a pre-existing condition of Alcoholism.

My Diary:

Prior TSM week: 45 week; 6.50 daily (average is likely 45-55 weekly; 6-8 weekday evening, 10-15 weekend evening)

Began 50mg of Nordict from UnitedPharmacies on 3/6/2010

Dear fellow Texan -
Welcome here and hope you find the solution to your problem, like so many others have. Keep posting & good luck! Factors are on your side -

:-))

Welcome! Everything you said makes perfect sense here. Congratulations, the chances of a breaking that cycle are great with TSM. Post often and ask questions.

My best,

Nick

It has been a week since I started TSM and my experience on NAL has been mixed.

1st day – (had 8 beers) On the first day I took 50mg of NAL and drank a bit less than normal. I’m not sure if this was a placebo effect or due to the NAL but I noticed that my rate of drinking slowed. I found myself sipping and drinking about 1 to2 beers an hour compared to my typical 3-4 beers an hour. I also noticed I wasn’t getting the euphoric feeling I get after the first beer or two that compels me to drink more. After awhile I just got bored with drinking because it was making me full and not making me feel high….just tired.
However, that night I had very intense dreams and spent most of the night going from an intense dream followed by a few hours of being half awake. Unable to sleep and too tired to get out of bed.

2nd day – (had 7 beers) woke up very tired but no hangover that night was the same as the 1st.

3rd night - (had 3 beers) woke up dead tired but no hangover - the lack of sleep was getting to me by the third night and I was only able to drink about a 1/3 of what I usually drink mostly because I was too tired to drink and the beer was not giving me a the adrenaline rush to stay awake. Rather, the alcohol was just making me even more sleepy. However, once again, even though I was dead tired I had a restless sleep. When I did sleep I had very vivid dreams but most of the night I was up laying in bed feeling like a zombie.

4th night- (had three beers) woke up dead tired but no hangover - the night was same as 3rd night

5th night – (had three beers) woke up dead tired but no hangover, felt like a zombie all day - I noticed at the end of my third beer I actually had slight euphoric buzz like I typically get when drinking. However, I was dead tired and just went to sleep.

6th night – (had six beers) woke up dead tired, no hangover but felt like a zombie all day - I decided to push my drinking and see if there was some sort of hump when I could achieve the typical high if I drink enough alcohol. However, after six beers I never achieved the euphoric feeling and instead started to get a throbbing headache like I was hungover. Once again I had hardly any sleep that eveining.

7th night – (had 4 beers) I woke up with nagging headache and felt nauseas all day - However, I once again drank in the evening and couldn’t get past 4 beers before calling it quits. With each beer I drank I felt more and more hungover.

8th night – (had three glasses of wine and 2 beers) I woke up with a massive headache, felt nauseas and slept the entire day - I was supposed to go out with friends for dinner that evening and was worried I wouldn’t make it because I felt so awful. However, after swallowing a dozen aspirin throughout the day I finally started to feel better. I also started to get a bit scared because I didn’t want to feel like that again and knew it was the NAL in combination with the drinking that was doing that to me. Yet, I knew I would be drinking at dinner in the evening. I therefore, decided to take 25mg rather than 50mg and I went to dinner. At dinner I sipped my wine slowly without even realizing it and after a few hours I had no more than three glasses of wine and my craving for more was almost non-existent. However, I’m unsure if that reduced craving was a result of the NAL or the fear of putting myself through the pain I experienced that last few days if I drank more. On my way home I knew I would probably have a few more beers when I got home and thus, I took the other 25mg. I got home, had two beers and went to bed and once again had a restless sleep.

Now I am on my 9th night – woke up slightly tired with a slight headache but much better than the last few days - I’m not sure what to do this evening. I need to get sleep and I can’t be waking up with the huge hangovers I have been getting. My craving is about a nine out of ten right now and I’m already envisioning pouring my first glass of beer. Therefore, I think what I may do is just take 25mg of NAL and hope for the best and stay on 25mg for the rest of the week and see how that goes. If it goes well, I may kick it back up to 50mg at some point.

In summary, 50mg of NAL seems to negate the euphoric effects of alcohol which tends to lessen my interest in drinking. However, the side effects are intense dreams, little sleep and feeling like a zombie all day. Also, if I drink more than 3 beers (less than half of what I used to drink per night) I seem to wake up nauseas and with a lingering headache.

This past week I drank about 1/3 to ½ of what I usually drink but I wouldn’t account my reduced drinking all to NAL, at least not in the way I expected with reduced cravings. Rather, my reduction in drinking seems to be in large part due to the lack of sleep I had all week because of NAL and then when I do drink the NAL negates the adrenaline high and thus, drinking just makes me tired twice as quickly as before. I stop drinking because of exhaustion not because of intoxication.

Dear OMTX -
Even tho you are having a hard time with it, this method seems to be working for you. Most people who report the "honeymoon" seem to have found success further on down the line. Your reactions, altho different, i.e. decreased pleasure, sleep factors, nausea, etc., sound like it may work for you too, that you are on your way. Stick to it, keep posting and best of luck!

Thanks for the encouragement houtx!!

I plan on sticking with this.....(in fact, I just placed another order for NAL even though I have a three month supply....weird, I am always worried about running out of alcohol and now I am worried about running out of NAL) ....My symptoms to NAL seem to actually be common to what others are experiencing and I therefore, thought I would also share what I have gone through viewtopic.php?f=5&t=1215

Although, the side effects are a discomfort, they also demonstrate that the NAL is working!!! However, I think I should have started at 25mg and worked my way up to 50mg rather than just have dived into it at 50mg......no biggie......lesson learned and hopefully, others shall learn from all of our experiences....that's why we post

I think by the point that someone is seeking help through TSM they are at a point in life where they have been through so much pain that a little discomfort is well worth it if there is a glimmer of salvation at the end of the tunnel.

What you are experiencing is indeed the "honeymoon effect" -- an immediate decreased interest in drinking and much of it is due to feeling lousy from naltrexone side effects. The side effects go away within a week or two -- and when they do, your appetite for alcohol will probably go back up. This is entirely normal. The fact you are having the honeymoon is a huge indicator this method will work for you. I haven't seen anyone here who has had it who then reported TSM did not work for them. Congratulations and keep posting.

Week 2: 36.71 week, 5.24 daily -- craving about 9 daily average (scale 1-10(highest))

My weekly and daily averages have gone up from week 1 (some say week 1 is honeymoon week, but it felt like a hell week for me). At the end of week 1 I lowered my dosage of NAL from 50mg to 25mg for three days because I had awful headaches and was getting very little sleep which I attributed to NAL. After three days, I raised my dosage back up to 50mg. I no longer suffer from headaches, however, I am still having trouble sleeping while on NAL, although, it seems to be slowly getting better.

My drinking has increased on my second week of NAL, however, it is still a bit lower than pre-TSM. Week 2 was 36.71 week, 5.24 daily

Also, my cravings seem to be a bit higher than last week. On a scale from 1-10(highest) I would place my daily cravings around 9.

I'm maintaining faith in TSM, although, I admittedly have my doubts.

Your progress is typical...weird SEs, etc. Just hang in and if not yet on 50 mgs, do so soon. Sounds like it will work for you. Sit back & just carpe diem as you usually do. It will be ok -

Thanks Houtx!! I've been back to 50 mgs for the past week and doing better. Still not sleeping well, but feeling better than I did the first week on NAL.