Robert Rapplean wrote:
Lena, do you realize that you posted "I understand all of that, but what does it mean?"
The point of the post was that addiction is an endorphin based thing, but enjoyment is a dopamine based thing. Even if we accept the (highly dubious) idea that enjoyment is purely chemical, the two are not actually dependent on each other. I probably could have just come out and said that, but I suspect someone would have jumped my case for not providing a scientific backing for it.
Marabella, I can't say that I'm glad to hear that alcoholism has completely shut out other activities in your life. You're definitely right that, in your case, conversations about other activities - any other activities - is pointless. I am very glad to hear that TSM is working so well for you that you won't need much else. I suspect that you are representative of the vast majority of unfortunates who are addicted to alcohol, and I'm absolutely thrilled that TSM is all that you need to get better.
I think, though, that this conversation was actually about stress relief, and what to do about it. I'm probably not too far off the mark observing that alcohol is used for stress relief, and that there are several individuals on this forum who will need to find a different way of handling their stress if they're going to reduce their drinking. You aren't one of them, but that doesn't mean that they wouldn't benefit from this conversation.
It is interesting, RR, but as the weeks go by it is becoming increasingly easier for me to identify triggers- I won't go looking for old posts right now, but in pre-Sinclair and the early days of starting TSM, just about everything was a trigger. I felt happy, I would drink, I felt sad- I would drink. Someone was rude to me driving/shopping/a friend having a rough day- I would arrive home and drink.
Somehow as the weeks went by the triggers became a bit clearer- I was able to identify them and label them. Hence- I no longer felt like drinking when I felt content, or because I felt sad. There are some triggers that are harder to break than others, and I guess stress is one of them- this week I have had a bit of stress mostly with money related issues and a bad day with a client from the shop where I felt very wrongly accused (another biggie for me!) so yes, I have to work on those things still.
The good thing is TSM is enabling me to identify the triggers and work on them, whereas before it was just a case of "Oh everything's a trigger- I might as well give up!"
I do think that once addicted to using alcohol in stress situations we are very unlikely to think "Oh God- that was stressful! I better go and have sex!" or "That rude ignorant jerk really wound me up! I will go and do a sky dive!" No of course not, we will just grab the nearest drink.
I don't think I am any different here to others, but while practising TSM I am also noticing my 'issues' and trying to correct each one as it comes. My addiction to Alcohol is not purely physical, but by treating the physical side, the mental part of it also becomes possible to deal with.
Gradually I, and the others will find a way to deal with the stress thing, but I fear there is not an 'activity' to practise to deal with stress- that is where we have gone wrong in the past, thinking that there was (in our case drinking).
Yes drinking does help, because while you are dancing on a table top singing at the top of your voice, with 150 people looking on incredulously, the argument you had with a co-worker earlier in the day suddenly becomes really unimportant.
My BF (teetotaller, yes believe it or not:) does not have an activity to practise when he is stressed. He gets uptight, he might yell a bit, then he calms down and moves on. He doesnt go out cycling, or jogging, or to an online casino, he manages it without an activity to deal with it.
I believe the issue we have to deal with is actually not letting situations stress us to begin with- not what activity we will use to deal with them once we have allowed ourselves to become overly-stressed.
I hope this makes sense, if not I will try to clarify.