thankyou lena for the words of wisdom!!!!!!!! i just feel so down.... you made me feel better... i am determined to do this... i just cant go on living like this anymore... i scared im going to end up dead.... aaarrrggggg.... i will be the happiest woman in the world if this works... i will keep posting....

Sunshine . As i'm someone who manages AFs and has binge tendency I can say what has and hasn't worked . After a week or so I fairly easily disolved the need to bunch all my drinking on fri night sat morning . So you may well find if you just hang on you can relax the bingeing really quite early on . Maybe just wait til the evening at first . Then yes , it is hard to juggle what is , when it comes down to it , an urge for self preservation with the knowledge you've to let the extinction role . But I'd say ere on the side of self preservation just after the honey moon . The honeymoon could be first few days if you can impose even one AF do so , but if the craving rides high
cede . Touch and go , it's tough I know , but try to get to days end whatever before starting , can you ?
Please post back here these first days . There really are bunch of concerned helpful people here . And we're all very keen to help each other and advance this very promising cure .

sunshine, this is my mantra. Please repeat after me, "This, too, shall pass. This, too, shall pass. . ."

It will, you know. You can't do a thing about what happened last night, or last year - or last anything. The only thing you can control right now is YOU. Change your thinking to positive things. Be happy that you've found a way out of your addiction. Be glad you lived through last night. If there's someone you know you hurt or offended, take time to give them a call and apologize. Refuse to be a victim to this disease as much as you can.

In just a couple of months, your life is going to be dramatically improved. Right now, you can improve it just by not beating yourself up. You don't deserve it.

thanks elfern for the tips.. you know im the kind of drinker who can go for days on end without drinking and not wanting it.. but then there are days where this little devil gets into me and its relentless... which brings me to still be worrying about taking longer to de-addict myself... hence, should i be drinking more often to fix myself quicker??..
going for more.. you have made me feel better... i feel so ashamed.. what i did was an all time low, even for me.. i cant remember what exactly happened but when i sobered up the evidence spoke for its self... it was in public too which is awful... you are right though... 'even this will pass' ..please god let this pass.. i have had 3 drinking nights on nal in a week... i was **** faced all 3 nights ... arrrgggg... but , no, i cant do anything about the past ... all i can do is dedicate myself to this method 100%... i believe if im honest i didnt wait long enough for the nal to kick in.. but after this week and listening to everyones positive improvement im going to do this properly... i have no other option... going cold turkey will not work, because i always cave and when i do my benders are seriously dangerous to me... im so sick of being 'that girl' who everyone loves and adores but is a nightmare when pissed... i just want to be swallowed up the next day when i see people looking at me,... i usually cant remember what happened but i can tell what they are thinking.. i will be so proud and happy if this works... i feel like im in prison... when there is a night out organized or a dinner with friends i cant be overjoyed about it , i just angst... its so depressing!!!!! i want my freedom back! i know i sound like William Wallace ,but its true... i just hope my guardian angels are working extra hard to look after me until there are changes... because im scared... but i will be positive... if it works for others it can work for me too..

waitingtoexhale..... HEAD DOWN AND GO...... true , true, true... im actually getting excited now... and please dont disappear on me... i will support you all too... you are all keeping me strong ... every single one of you who has written to me..... thankyou....

[quote="sunshine27"]im so sick of being 'that girl' who everyone loves and adores but is a nightmare when pissed... I am with you there, mine is a little different take though, one of my "meditations" is to think of my next outfit, and then I get dressed and go to the "event" HA!, and lookin' good, then ruin my facade by getting tipsy, and having my husband believe people think I am a drunk! That's a reality check.

Sunshine, feel comfort in the thought that you are doing the very best thing you could possibly do to get better. Each drunken night with naltrexone will no longer be a reason to be upset with yourself, but a step towards recovery. After years of hating yourself for drinking this is a difficult change in mindset, but just keep with it and it will show itself to be true. And, yes, it'll take time. For those of us who are used to taking our antibiotics and feeling better in a couple of days, TSM feels like it's taking forever, but patience will win out in the end.

Awwww Sunshine - I soooooo feel your pain. Embarrassment is so self-defeating & destructive. We have all been there, hopefully learned from it. You are in good company and have found the best supportive network of friends. Lighten up on what cannot be changed. Tomorrow is all we have, not to be trite, but it's all in the baby steps. Glad you found your way here - life is good & hopeful now!

oh thankyou all..... you all are truly wonderful... i feel like im entering a new chapter in my life.... im going out for a drink tonight and i will take my nal... bit nervous but i know each time i do this im am getting closer to recovery.... i will keep posting....

Hey Sunshine - Just relax into this. You have taken the biggests step. THE OLNLY RULE - take nal 1 hour before drinking- EVERY TIME.
It will work for nearly all or us. I think for me the key was not to try too heard and over analyse. It will be up and down and am in week 5 and not managed a alcohol free night yet but I want to really want that. Pre NAL I have had weeks here and there off so know I can do it. Bu tI am at the stage where I jsut want to sinclair methiod to run it's course rather than trying to stop. DOes that makes sense. The science means that you have to drink for this to work - once you have taken NAL.

Hope you night out was OK. GOod luco and keep posting.