I LOVE IT! Inspiring post. I'm getting bits of this as well... I went out and bought a steel guitar. Don't stop posting!

-Ned

Hope everyone is well,

More of the same continues. Any real urge for the drink I have has all but waned to 0. The main urge or attraction I have is some illusion or dellusion that I had a great time drinking before. Before I would go chasing that, now days I know its not there. However, I do use that illusion still today, but its different. I drink only on weekends now, if I drink at all it seems, just works out that way, and the times I do drink is more because my wife wants to go out. Im not really enjoying it much, Id rather be sober at home, hope Im not becomng hermit like. Anyway I have this picture of what a fun time should be and before I got out I look at where we are going who we will be with, and match it up agains this picture I have of a good time. If it doesnt match, the evening really has no appeal to me. Make sense at all?

We went out on Valentines day, I wasnt really counting my drinks, but I cut myself off, because I thought I had a certain amount. As it turns out, thinking back over the evening, I actually had less than I thought lol. I almost feel like I wasted somthing, lol.

The journey continues folks. I am seriously thinking of taking the quit smoking challenge. My wife has not had a cig for over 3 weeks now using Chantix. I will most likely use it too, but I really dont want to mix these two drugs. I am, however, at the point where I could go a month of not drinking (not having to take Nal) and get on the Chantix to kick the smoking habit. At this time I am trying to seriously cut down.

I am starting to see now, that a life truely AL free is very appealing, where as pre TSM was no life at all. Funny how perspective can change how you feel about somthing. (If I think too long on the subject I find it kind of stupid actually. Damn addiction is a messed up thing aint it?) Because Im not addicted any longer an AL free life is starting to become appealing, when I was addicted previously, it was like a sentencing. Life behind dry bars!

There is alot to be grateful for, and I see more and more of that each day.

All my best,

hap

"Life behind dry bars." Great quote.

"Freed by inserting the naltrexone key into the lock!"

Glad you are well.

congratulations hapful! It sounds like one addiction is down and you'll be able to get over the other one. Keep moving forward, we're cheering you on.

corkit

Hi Folks,

Sorry its been so long. I hope everyone has been doing great. I see many new screen names here and am happy to see the familiar ones still here also. Its been almost a year since I started on TSM, so I thought Id pop in and say hi and give an update.

So here we are coming up on July 29th, which is when I started on TSM. I still take Nal at least an hour previous to drinking when I do drink. I still drink. But not like I used to, not even close. I go weeks AF, I think I've gone 6 weeks at one time maybe more. Drinking just isn't important to me in any way. Talk about extinction.

When I think about it, I still associate some "good times" with drinking. So when I get bored, ill think to myself, "it would be fun to go to a bar tonight." Then when I go through the process of actually executing that plan, the enthusiasm wears off. To tell you the truth, lately, and it may be because I haven't been taking Nal (due to not drinking that often), I have been getting nauseous after a few beers, and after just a couple hours of drinking I just want to go home and go to bed. I really don't like that nauseous feeling and I am starting to associate that feeling with drinking. So rather than have that feeling, I would rather just not drink. Some may jump to the conclusion "why don't I just stop taking the Nal so I don't get that nausea?" 1. I still remember how bad it was to not be able to stop drinking. 2. If I was still consumed with the thought of AL then I may actually do that, but drinking just isn't a bid deal anymore. 3. I still remember how bad it was to not be able to stop drinking.

To tell the truth, I started TSM with the hopes that I could still drink. Because, even being a binge drinker, drinking was a very "important" part of my life, be it good or bad. Mostly bad. As I progressed through extinction, I found that I thought of AL in a much different way. It is just an activity, like bike riding, hiking or playing pool. It is something that I choose to do, if I felt like it. So while I got what I wanted in the end, its not exactly how I wanted it. I got my cake and I am eating it too, it just doesn't taste the way I thought it would. I'm not disappointed.

I thought too, that if I got rid of this drinking problem, everything would be roses. That isn't the case either. As the fog lifted, not only did I see things that I neglected to appreciate, but also many of today's problems were mounting up. So rather than running to the bottle, I'm actually dealing with them. I guess what I'm saying is, when the fog lifts don't be surprised when there are still clouds around.

Another odd thing that I doubt will ever change is my thoughts toward a drinking session. I absolutely will not take a Nal with the intention of having only 1 drink. What is the use? If I'm going to take a Nal, then I want to have at least 3-6 drinks. I guess it comes down to why do you drink? My answer is, to feel a buzz. No other reason then that. Only now I choose the appropriate times to get a buzz, which are becoming fewer and farther between.

I have noticed, that I can drink right past the Nal, or through it. If I do shots, I can get carried away fast and watch out, stupidity and horrible hangover, regret feeling the next day. It has happened twice in a year. That's a far cry less than every week.

All in all, TSM did what is advertised. I once was consumed by thoughts of alcohol but now I'm not.

On another note, I see that Chantix has become a topic lately. I just wanted to report that I started Chantix almost 3 weeks ago. I have been smoke free for almost 2 weeks now. I have not taken Nal since being on the Chantix. I used the starter pack to get past the initial withdrawals and cravings in the first week, then I take a pill or half pill every other day or so as my cravings see fit. I just don't want to be loaded up with too many drugs in my system, Nal + Chantix. I still have cravings, and my thoughts toward the subject are, I will never buy a pack of smokes again. Who knows if I take a drag or two during a drinking session. The point is, I will eventually get to the point where smoking does not control what I can and cant do. i.e...exercise and long plane rides lol.

Vice 1 (drinking) check.
Vice 2 (smoking) will be checked.
Vice 3????

With all this new energy from not drinking, and not smoking, I am thinking very hard now about going back to school.

Good luck to all, chins up, and if anyone feels the need to message me via this forum, please feel free.

Hap

Hey everyone!

Sheez its been a long time since I posted here it seems. I believe my last update, I hadn't had a drink since New Year's Day....well I still haven't. I was concerned about my tolerance level for Nal and I still am.

Just wanted to pop in and say Hi, and give a quick update.

So it's been what, over 6 months now since I've had any AL. Am I trying hard to stay away from AL, or doing it for a specific reason? Not trying hard at all, in fact no effort. Reason for doing so? Haven't really found a good reason to drink. However, one factor that is keeping me away from drinking is the side affects of the NAL, I have never really gotten over them, and I really don't care to feel them. And I don't really care to head down the path to "unrecovery" and start drinking without the Nal. The only thing that triggers any drinking appeal is from social associations, like if I feel bored, thoughts of heading out to a bar or similar pop into my head. Then, as I have said before, I go through (in my mind) the routine it takes to prepare for a night out, and I say "ahhh the hell with it. I don't want a drink that bad."

To tell you the truth, I would probably have a drink more often, but the side affects of the Nal keep me away from it. True, there was a point early on when I had to kill the cravings with the Nal the side affects were fairly mild because I drank more frequently, they were always there to some degree, but I had to take the Nal in order to get to the point I am at.

Normally, when people first start taking Nal, they get mild to severe side effects, but those subside in time after your body builds up a tolerance. I believe that my tolerance level (due to not drinking much anymore) has dropped to where it was when I first started.

Again, thats ok. I don't need to drink.

I've seen some comments about how to fill the void that less AL leaves, not being able or wanting to stay at bars or parties as long, the concern about being social. I believe its a natural progression, the people who you hang out with are the people with similar activities or thinking. Example: if I was an avid scuba diver, I would probably know a lot of scuba divers and go scuba diving and sit around talking about scuba diving with them. But since I am not I don't know many avid scuba divers. However, if I decided to take up that activity I would progressively start to gather other scuba divers around me. My point is, since I am not drinking much at all, all the freinds that were heavy drinkers or used drinking as a main passed time I am finding I don't have much in common with. I am starting to work out a ton more than I used to and am starting to recognize the names and faces of those that do the same at the local gym I go to. I am focused heavily on work (self employed, and so much easier to focus with no AL) and am starting to find many others with my passion. But it takes time and I had to go through some boring spots. Like being a kid moving to a new place you have to make new freinds. Good freinds. Hate to say it, but maybe some of the company you keep are not proactive to your new life or the life you envision for yourself. If you want something, gather those around you who want the same thing, goal, destination or have been where you want to go. If you don't have a goal, well...you'll be hanging around a lot of goal-less people. Picture this... every time you succeeded at something you decided to pursue you had a button you could hit (like the staples easy button) that screamed out GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAALLLLLLL! (like the spanish soccer commentator). I believe that being proactive will help.

I'm not saying I will never drink again (in fact I'm actually looking for a good reason to drink lol), and can't predict the future, but wanted to point out that there are many other things in life than drinking. Most people start out with TSM with the goal of being able to drink frequently with drinking buddies and not suffer the consequences, but as time goes on you may find that you have no need for AL whatsoever. THAT'S OK! I've struggled with that issue a bit wondering, ok what do I do now? It's a much better problem to have then dealing with a hangover and people angry at you for something you don't even remember doing. Or worrying about counting how many drinks you had on any given night. If your early on with TSM, stick with it! The outcome will be good, might not be what you thought, but it will be good.

(And for all the old timer, medium timers, cured still posting....I really appreciate the fact that you guys are here helping out. It helped me. For the newcomers, good for you for wanting to get better.)

Keep pushin'

hap

Great to hear from you Hap!

People's TSM success stories vary greatly. I still enjoy drinking and do so regularly -- at safe and healthy levels. I can't remember my last hangover or blackout. I just went to Seattle and even on the night of a party where there was a lot of drinking, I still woke up feeling fine and ready to have a productive day. What we have in common is that we are entirely free to drink as we please. All of us have been brainwashed by society's "abstinence only" rule and the myth that if we keep on drinking, we somehow are not healthy or whole. This is FALSE. The ones who remain unhealthy are the ones who lose control of their drinking, despite repeated efforts to curb their habit. However, people who drink entirely when they want to drink -- in control and at safe levels -- are NOT in this group. It will take decades, but some day the notion that problem drinkers who continue to drink are somehow at risk or are unhealthy will eventually fade away. Thanks to TSM.

Thanks for the update Hap. It was great to hear the course of your sustained recovery (supplemented with Nick's very different success story).

It's great to hear from you hapful. Life sounds great for you. You started TSM almost exactly a year before I did so it good to see that things continue to go well for you. It's interesting how everyone's cure looks a little different with the only common theme being alcohol is not running the show anymore or as Firebird used to say, "We are at the helm". You certainly are the helm of your ship. Thanks for checking in.

Thanks for the reply guys.


@ St Vince, absolutely. Common theme among success stories is....AL definitely not the guiding blurry light through the bottom of a beer glass any more. Firebird sure has a way with words too. I haven't had a chance to catch up on everyone's threads, so I hope your well on your way.


@ Nick, Im glad your still here weighing in on things. If it weren't for the likes of you, potato and springerider firebird etc.... I wouldn't have had as much to go on. We have/had similar situations and have alot in common as we are/were binge drinkers.



@digetic2-actually mine and Nick's succes stories are pretty similar, only the frequency of my drinking started to taper off as it got close to the end of last year. To tell you the truth, I started focusing on so many other things during happy hour that I neglected to set time aside to drink. Then the drinking frequency became so low my Nal tolerance dropped alot. (I started to regret this.) So the side affects just started to become a pain in the butt. My craving isn't really there any more so its ok. lol

Trust me, I want to head out and have some brews. But like I said the SEs are somethign I would rather not deal with. I just haven't had a strong enough urge to do so. I have thought of going out with out the Nal, but I know I would be back on it after a short time. (Nick I read about your foray into this) The good thing about TSM is, if I ever regain my AL conditioning, I always have TSM to crack the code again. The bad thing aout TSM is, I know it works, so I could use that as an excuse to head out without the Nal. lol

Since being on TSM, I am definitely not the self proclaimed life of the party any more. Nor do I try to be. Big difference LOL.

Abstinence shmabstinence, I think AA has brainwashed society with misinformation. AA says, if your a problem drinker and you drink your life is over basically. They try to teach ways to cope with your white knuckles. (Pray to the great gum ball machine for pearls of wisdom to get me through today.) Definitely not a cure. Where as TSM attacks the very root of addiction and kills it.

I guess my point is, previously I found myself bothered by some feeling of loss and even some guilt , not really wanting to go out and have drinks being social, being a light weight, my wife wants to go out see friends etc... then it finally came to me.... I don't have to drink. So I decided to get proactive down this path giving something else a shot. Because in reality, AL was still bothering my thinking even though I was "cured", but in a different way. I think maybe others may come across this feeling too. Who knows, I may start drinking every other night again if I felt like it and do it safely. I had some sort of subliminal backlash or resentment against this thing called not drinking as often, or even abstinence because of what AA cultists have tried to ram down our throats. We have been told we can not drink, and here we are pounding brews doing the TSM thing. Its like having the last laugh on the institutional folk and rubbing it in their faces lol (it's empowering for me he he). I literally drank my way cured. On TSM its ok to drink, and after TSM its ok NOT to drink.

If not drinking starts to become a feasible reality for you then, what I probably failed to get across in my previous post (because I need to take writing lessons), I encourage you to follow that path to its fullest and see where it takes you. I love it so far. Look Ma, no white knuckles. This experience without the dilema of AL is very empowering, just knowing where I came from. Maybe its easier for me to think that way because I live in Utah...many people don't drink here... they are always doing some crazy sober stuff lol. So its easy to find something to do and find others to do it with.

By no means am I insisting on abstinence and Im not saying I will never drink again, Im just saying if it seems like an option go for it, for a little bit. We have struggled for so long with this crap, why not feel truly free for just a bit. See how far TSM really took you. (only after you feel like your cured, otherwise keep drinking, with the nal ofcourse.)

Im not sure I can put into words effectively what Im trying to say...or maybe I just feel like typing stuff.

All in all, the success stories have the same theme, we gained the answer we never had to a question that has always been posed to us... to drink or not to drink?

And for those who are still unable to answer that question honestly, keep pushin it will come with TSM.