Crown --

Congratulations my friend, I am very happy for you. You and I (and all others cured) are living proof that a fundamental premise of AA is bullshit: that a "spiritual awakening" is required in order to change our attitude towards alcohol. I always thought that was crap but I was willing to listen to the AA bullshit because I was desperate for change. The bottom line is this: if you tell an alcoholic that the only way they can cure their addiction is by enrolling in a voodoo course, then everyone would enroll enthusiastically.

This country is sorely misguided in its treatment of this horrible addiction. Until recently, we were grasping at straws, searching for a way to deal with something that everyone deemed "incurable." Those days are gone now thanks to medication. However, every court system I know mandates AA for alcohol offenders, which is basically worthless, with its 5% success rate. Some day, drugs like naltrexone will replace AA and I'm going to do everything I can in my power to make that day come sooner, rather than later.

Let me know when I can add your name to the list.

Congratulations again.

Nick

Nick

thanks for the words my friend..I agree with you that the word needs to be spread. When I started searching around the net in October/November last year for help the first sit that came was Sober Recovery..all AA for the most part. I spent 10 years of my youth in AA and from everything I learned etc..now that I truly had a problem and wanted it gone and TRULY wanted help I knew there was no way in hell AA was going to work for me. Like you I don't buy the spiritual awakening stuff...sounds great to a desperate soul..but I knew the deal very well.

I next found MWO and felt pretty comfortable there throwing my story up and asking for help. Rehab was one of the major suggestions...truth of the matter is I was drinking at very very unhealthy and dangerous levels..I had no issue with going to re-hab but I also knew the drill..go to rehab then go to AA and if that was my only option I KNEW I was doomed. If I was going to be stuck to a life life where all I did was complain about the urges to drink and how I am fighting them with the help of a support group and all covered up by it's a program of living with the 12 steps and if I am feeling liking drinking being told I am not working the program or helping others enough - I would rather have drank and suffered the consequences..thats me..AA IS NOT THE ONLY WAY..contrary to popular beleif.

I post now on sober recovery with the only intent that if another poor soul like myself is looking for help and refuses AA they should know they have choices. Why some of the people there are so rude and close minded to me show ignorance to the point The world is still flat. I am very non confrontational nor even choose to argue with them...I have done my best to keep the thread friendly. I post on MWO for the same reeason..to spread the word.

I think it's a crying shame that TSM is not an openly accepted method of treatment. I know it wont help everyone and it's not a one size fits all drug..but goddamn if it can help some or good amount of people why repress it and write it off. If I drank once or twice a week and never had more than 3 what the hell do I care...it's not detroying my health, my mental frame of mind, the people who care about me...I could care less and consider myself free from alcohol. Abstience is not the only thing that equals sober. I know the AA'ers intepret this as it's a matter of time..but they don't understand naltrexone and it's affects. hell how many there relaspe? so is it a matter of time?

A few on Sober recovery have pointed out to me it's more than quitting drinking..no **** sherlock..but for me my life has fallen into place..If I needed therapy I would have no qualms and go..I have in the past...but I would rather have therapy from a liscened professional (LOL even there I have had my doubts) than a bunch of co-dependent people who's credentials are..hey we quit drinking. But right now I know myself well and I don't need therapy at the moment I know what to do for me.

Side note - I know some of you remeber me posting about my fiance and me getting a new dog..well I got the dog..german shepherd and he is awsome. I have been in advanced obedience training..he is 1 year old..to make him a therapy dog..I always wanted to give back after all the hospice volunteers that came to visit my mother...and the thing I am learing is my dog is hyper intelligent and all the problems are with me...the way I speak to him touch him etc...I am not rough by any means ..if you have been to advanced obdience traing for dog then you know what I mean. Bottom line the trainer says to me you lack confidence in your dog..so we need to build your confidence...energy travelling down the leash...damn its working. for this has been THE BEST therapy sessions I have ever attended in my life for me personally...LOL and it's dog traing...it all transfers back to everyday life..this and tsm working is incredible.

I'm so happy for you, Crown! Enjoy reading your posts - so glad it worked for you!

Congrats!

I did 10 years of my youth in AA as well. I was in a locked rehab for three months at age 16, the only way to get out was to let them brainwash you (I was in there with people who had been bounced from Eating Disorders to the Psych ward to the drug ward... The worst had been locked inpatient for over a year, if I remember correctly. I wanted out.) After that I had sponsees, I spoke at speakers meetings, I was really in to it. But it wore thin. I got sick of sitting there thinking "spare me the drama and get a f**king job".

Then there was ten years of "head full of AA, belly full of booze"... yes it sucks.

Now all that stuff that I believed (with reservations) has been turned on its head. Amazing!

I should find some places to post about bac/nal and rabble rouse a bit too. It might very well save some lives, there are plenty of people out there for whom the spiritual route just isn't an option.

-Ned

Amen to that Ned.

Week 12 ending Feb 13

Verdict - Cured or in complete control whatever you want to call it and on the road to abstinence

I am ready to add myself to the cured list. I spent the last week snowed in at friends house out of town. In the past this would have meant while eveyone was shopping for bread and milk I would have been stocking up on half gallons of whiskey at the liquor store and beer. Lets see for a solid week of being snowed in That would have been 4 half gallons and 3 30 packs and a fifth or two or some cordial for shots. This storm I bought a six pack for the week...LOL me buy a six pack? My friends are drinkers and they partied..me I had like 1-2 beers per day to be social. I had no intention of getting drunk. I enjoyed the company completely sober and never felt I was missing something by not partying.

My guess is I will be abstinent in a month...beer is last to go. I can't an no longer drink whiskey as I get sick eveytime I try it. I tried a glass of wine last week an was sick during the first glass - thank god based on all that I have read here about wine and TSM...it was never my thing anyways..whiskey or any hard liquour was my thing. 98% of the time beer is unapealing and the 2% of the time it actually tastes good anymore I never drink more than 4 over about a 3 hour period.

When I first found TSM I couldn't even imagine abstinence. Now it is coming with ease and I feel zero pressure to quit...it's like it's a natural thing to do. I am hand and knees greatful this treatment exists and worked as well as it has for me. I remember back in november reading the posts here and thinking I am glad it's working for some but it probably won't for me with my luck... I remember reading AJ's weekly progress and thought man that would be like winning the lottery..the odds..me..lol will never happen...damn if it didn't. It worked from day one and just kept destroying my tolerance and obsession with alcohol. It was the honeymoon that never stopped. My drinking never returned to my normal levels...it dropped by 2/3 thirds and went lower from there until it to the point I can no longer drink hard liquour on the rocks without vomiting.

Right before I started TSM I had friends and family suggesting rehab detox the works, which of course I refused. These people are all in shock over how little drink when I drink now...I am still in shock to an extent. I stopped therapy and anti-depressants around the time I started TSM figuring once I got a handle on booze I would resume both, but in the interim figured with my drinking I was wasting my time with both. I feel I don't need therapy nor anti depressants at all at this point. I am not oppossed to either but with booze no longer destroying my life and killing me my life fell right back into place. Same BS and stress of life is still there but oh so managable now and actually challenging and fun again. The biggest thing for me with booze gone I am relatively happy and content and have peice of mind back. I still have a hard time beleiving a paper back around 20 bucks and some pills online for 200 something bucks "fixed" me. I would like to say thank-you to all of you who have participated in this forum as it as been invaluable to me...the book plus this forum is awsome.

Dr Sinclair and DR Eskapa - If you guys ever read this thread thank-you from the bottom of my heart for all your hard work and research. You guys have saved my life.

w00t! So happy! Congratulations ... it's so great to read.

PlainVanilla & AJ

Thanks for the words

Funny you mentioned that comment AJ that you highlighted. It was no BS EVERYONE was all over me to get some professional help. My sister, my fiance a few close friends a couple of family members. They even tried a watered down version of the tv show intervention. But unlike the people on intervention I pay my own freight and have never really relied on anyone and pretty much alienated most of them by choice because of my drinking, so I was going to do WHATEVER I wanted for me. If that meant cutting them out of my life so be it. My response to them when they "ganged up on me" was hey you threatened me a month or so ago if you f***ing noticed your phones aren't a ringing. My sister was really the only one that truly knew me well and knew it would never help me by an intervention and backed off and gave me my space. I have always been it my way or the ighhway even in addiction. My attitude is win lose or draw the bottom line it's up to me, it's my life, and when I lay my head down at night, drunk or sober, I only need to answer to myself and God. I alianated most close to me because I knew it wasn't fair hurting them with my drinking, I did not drive drunk as not hurt others and at the end I stayed home and drank as for fear of getting in serious trouble out drinking.

Two years ago, I was so drunk one night, my mother and my fiance called the ambulance because I drank the majority of a half gallon and passed out with my eyes rolling in the back of my head and they couldn't get me up. I told the paramedics to F-Off and then came the police and off to the hospital and detox I went involuntarily. While in detox they tried to get me to go to group and AA which I told them no way and sat in my room and read books. The minute I got out and got home I fixed a drink and proceeded to tell my mother, who was under my care, and my fiance pull that crap again and I will be living here alone. The doctor in detox told me obviously to quit drinking, he also said son you won't see 45 the way you are drinking I was 40 at the time.

I remember back in October looking for some kind of help and thinking it's 2009 there has got to be some medication or something other than AA. I would die with the bottle in my hand before I ever went back to AA this I knew. I made it 30 something days white knuckling it and fell off the wagon and in one drinking session was right back to where I started. I knew in AA I would just relapse and I don't buy into the spiritual disease crap and I need a sponsor peice. In business and life I have pulled myself out of more hard spots than I got hairs on my head so to be this would be no different. I had the attitude I did this to myself I need to fix this. Always had the pull yourself up by the boot straps mentality and if you want something bad enough you can make it happen on your own. Nobody is going to give you anything for free type thing and I am 100% responsible and accountable for my own actions. THANK GOD this treatment exists.

I really beleive I was at the begining of the end with alcoholism. It was like a fast train heading straight for hell chalk full of insanity that ened with a pine box carried by six of your best friends. TSM threw the brakes on big time. Man alcohol has a dark side. Today I can see myself abstinent before I couldn't. I used to think damn so of the best times in my life were centered around booze and being drunk...how can I quit? LOL I was thinking this as I was drinking passing out drinking passing out, shaking like a dog shitting bones, not remembering a damn thing from the black-outs, pissing in my closet, puking in various places and not remembering, passing out on my lawn, hurting people close to me, waking up with my bed covered in blood from a busted ear and not remembering what happened, getting involuntarily locked up in detox, feeling suicidal and playing russian roulette with a 6 shot...LOL and this is fun? God it's nice to have gotten off this train.

Funny, after not being a damn disaster for 3 months and my life taking a COMPLETE 180 I have to remind myself how bad things were. Almost as fast as alcohol was killing me things just are falling back into place and I have to remind myself. I have been drinking since my mid 20's I am now going to be 43 this year. The last 4 or so years have been HELL ON EARTH and only getting worse. I hope I can always look back and just say..yep that was very dark period, thank God it's over. With TSM I am fully confident this will be the case. I has take nal less and less and drink less and less, Naltrexone has an even more powerful effect me when I do drink and that keeps me to my limits and not getting out of control. I also have the view that which doesn't kill us just makes us stronger,..lol character builder. Man I learned a lot about myself, booze and life during all this..lessons I would never trade.

Other funny thing as put my post up for cured/control, I felt like I was graduating college or highschool again..LOL So I celebrated. But this time celebration was a bowl of ice cream, a coke, my dog and some TV and simply being happy just being content.

It's an inspiring story, crown. Thank you so much for sharing it. Honestly, reading your story and AJ's, and Nicks is what made me try TSM. My story is just beginning, but if/when I'm successful it will be because of the three of you and the stories you chose to share on this forum.

My point: Keep it up. Pay it forward and save lives, please. When I'm done here, and if I'm successful, I'm so excited about spreading the word the way you guys have.

Big Tex

Thanks..I hope it works for you. I plan to keep talking about TSM until I am told to shut up in a big way by a lot of people...LOL even then not so sure you could shuit me up about it. I know us alcoholics share a special..lol not sure if special is the right word..a big peice of hopelessness despair and hell that only an alcoholic knows...man just to help anyone end that **** and return to a normal life makes me feel great. Alsmost AAish in way of sharing the experience stregnth and hope thing