This last couple of weeks I've had a computer meltdown, parents visiting, a bad cold, and continuing relationship turmoil. Unbelievable, and last year at this time I would have drank myself into a two-week stupor - in fact I did! But that was last year, before TSM.

TSM is helping me to find that perfect balance in drinking. I only drank once this week, because I felt like it. The rest of the time I pretty much forgot about it! When I first thought I was cured, it was because the thought of alcohol was making me sick. Now the thought of alcohol is not really occurring at all! It's a major distinction.

I've also halved my dosage recently to 25mg. I'm keeping a close eye on things, but so far it's working just fine. 7.5 drinks for the week suits me about right

This took a really long time, and there has been a lot of uncertainty along the way. I'm finally settling into where I feel comfortable. If you are having doubts, believe me: I have had my doubts many times. Especially when I spiked after I thought I was cured. You just have to keep at it, sometimes looking only at your next step, until you get there.

TSM kicks ass!!!

Fire

I noticed the same behavior. I am just not thinking about it anymore. When I do, I may or may not have something, but now it's a rational decision. It is comfortable. I imagine this will only continue to get better as the upcoming months go by.

Bob

Hey FB, glad to see your moving along just fine.

Question: what is your reasoning behind halving your dosage?

To me a major factor in deciding to drink or not to drink is having the Nal in my system at all. Sometimes I think its just not worth it for a couple of drinks. And I can easily think of something else to do.

All the best,

hap

Hey all,

I've always done 25 mg for the first four hours. If I am continuing to drink, I take another 25 mg. My question to the board, do you think spreading it out like that is dumb? Am I putting myself in jeopardy? I just drink in the evenings but used to get hammered after 10 PM.

Otherwise, things seem to be going well, best, Jim

It's probably best to stick with 50mg, folks. Why tempt fate?

Bob

Hi all,

It's been a while since I posted numbers, but I thought I'd do an update, as it's almost the end of the year. Things are going fantastic from my point of view, and I do consider myself cured because I'm now drinking on my terms and enjoying it when I do. I expect my numbers will continue to ebb and flow, but I now know not to be freaked out by this.
BIG PICTURE

The reason I halved my dosage was that I don't want to feel sick every time I decide to enjoy a glass of wine or two. If I see an major uptick in drinking, I will go back to my previous dosage. This is my philosophy when it comes to medicine: if you listen carefully to your body, it will tell you what you need to do. I don't speak for anyone else, I only know that this works for me.

Here's to wishing everybody a joyous holiday season!!!


WK AF Drinks
1 3 29
2 3 26.5
3 3 22.5
4 4 29
5 2 9
6 3 22.5
7 2 13.5
8 2 18.5
9 2 19
10 3 14
11 2 24
12 3 15
13 3 24
14 4 25
15 2 45
16 0 60
17 4 29
18 3 26.5
19 4 22.5
20 3 29
21 4 9
22 3 22.5
23 6 6.5
24 3 18.5
25 3 18
26 5 14
27 3 24
28 5 15
29 4 24
30 4 25
31 5 13.5
32 4 18
33 3 30
34 4 26
35 5 15.5
36 6 11
37 6 7.5
38 6 11

OK. I understand now. Kinda the same reason I resumed 50mg after a few weeks of 100mg. I was trying to kill the desire for alcohol and all I was doing is making drinking a miserable experience. 50mg is much better for me. Everyone should do what is best for themselves. Maybe I will get to the 25mg level one day soon, but I'm not there yet.

I am so happy what has happened to us and it continues to get better, Where will we be next year? Kind of exciting to think about!

Bob

As things stand, I've been holding pretty steady for a while now. Going to 25mg seems to have halted my tsm progress, and I've had a few weeks where drinking has increased. I really understand the point some have gotten to where taking nal just makes you sick, so you take less and consequently drink more. The SEs of a full dose of nal are still pretty rough even after all this time (although not nearly as rough as drinking myself into a coma most of the week).

I'm going to try upping my dose a bit and see if I can find that magic point where it is still doing the job but I'm not retching at the thought of having a beer. Craving makes a good point that you're not cured if you can't imagine life without alcohol. Obviously I could solve this whole problem by just not drinking and therefore not having to take nal in the first place. Clearly that point of imagining life without alcohol has not been reached yet.

My physical desire for alcohol is nil. Just thinking about it right now makes me feel a bit green, and I haven't taken any nal today. But obviously there is still a part of me that wants to "party" somehow, although that how is becoming more obscure. I don't want to be drunk. That doesn't sound like fun to me at all, but I do miss "something" about my previous lifestyle.

For me the associations with alcohol, playing music, getting oodles of chicks, being admired by the other guys, being a success in that particular world - those associations are really hard to break, even they aren't the least bit appropriate anymore. Alcohol damn near killed my musical career, I haven't been out on the dating market for years, and I could really care less what most people think of me, yet somehow that old tired paradigm keeps me from shedding that last bit of alcoholic dependency.

Don't get me wrong - tsm has been an absolute miracle, and I am in it for the duration. But I know now, for me, that tsm is not the ONLY and final answer. I think that more and more people are realising that psychological and yes, even spiritual factors cannot be ignored for most of us to find our solution. I know that even if I use some willpower and show some great numbers for a while (even 0s) I still have not fully arrived.

We'll see how the next week goes, with the increased dose. Maybe Bob was right on sticking with the program as outlined. I'll also be following the progress of those who are trying baclofen with great interest. My tsm progress has been astounding to me, I just want to put the final nail in the coffin, and put this beast in the ground for good.

Fire

Wk / AF / drinks
1 3 46.5
2 3 48.5
3 3 46
4 4 39
5 2 54
6 3 42
7 2 44.5
8 2 52.5
9 2 55
10 3 36
11 2 52
12 3 42
13 3 34
14 4 29
15 2 45
16 0 60
17 4 29
18 3 26.5
19 4 22.5
20 3 29
21 4 9
22 3 22.5
23 6 6.5
24 3 18.5
25 3 18
26 5 14
27 3 24
28 5 15
29 4 24
30 4 25
31 5 13.5
32 4 18
33 3 30
34 4 26
35 5 15.5
36 6 11
37 6 7.5
38 6 11
39 4 26.5
40 4 27
41 5 14
42 5 17
43 5 18

OK, I was feeling a bit of a slump yesterday; two nine drink nights in a week is just too much for me these days. I have a goal to get my numbers down to <10/wk. I also have a great tool to accomplish that goal through tsm. Accordingly I'm going back to a normal dose, making sure to wait the full hour before drinking, and see how things go.

Now you don't throw out your inclined plane just because the wheel has been invented; likewise I plan to use some of the other tools at my disposal to help get those numbers down. Self-hypnosis, meditation, and some serious soul searching may prove to be more effective now that my brain isn't an alcohol sponge anymore. Maybe I'll see what some of our MWO friends are up to . . .

So, under 10 this week, very doable I think.

hope you are doing great.