I thought one can redeem glass bottles in Oregon for cash, you must have let fortune slip through your fingers.

Until recently (well, January '09) the deposit was only on beer and soft drinks. Last year water and flavored water beverage containers were added.

But wine and spirits - no deposit, no refund.

I may have slipped a fortune in wine, but it passed through more than my fingers

haha, funny....i know...i am saving so much money!!! i am so buying a new outfit every week now...my son and i look like celebrities

Love the reality - great story, Crown!

I remember hiding bottles from my ex, whisking them out to my car to take to an off-site dumpster...got caught once. I was all full of the recycling BS (altho we had those tubs outside our back door), so me not making much sense trying to explain this sack full of bottles. He just made tsk tsk noises, turned on his heel and blew me off. Gawd, I hated him in those moments...making me feel guilty. Knew there would be no more (bad) sex for another 5 yrs...nor had there been (bad sex) for 3 yrs before that, or (bad sex) for 5 before that, or (bad sex) for 2 before that...etctetctetctec. UGH - no wonder I drank!!!

And I am not a "bad" drunk & never was. I am pretty "normal" actually in that I hold my own. Whatever - suddenly reminded of the trash can stuff :-/ blah - ICKmode

But awesome story again, Crown - so happy for you!

I would usually wait to post this in my weekly progress but I am so excited it feels good to write it out and share it.

Naltrexone WINNER Alcohol LOSER

I am 99% convinced TSM has extinguished hard liquor my former best friend, lover and soul mate who got mad at me and wanted me dead. Like fatal attraction. I have been drinking beer out of habit - 2 or 3 per day with dinner and they weren't tasting so good. This week i was going to see how many days I could go AF and possibly eliminate drinking beer at home and only when I go out with friends. The friend/going out thing is only to be social like no more than 3 which is now easy.

Well I failed. My fiance and I split before the holidays. I am sure everyone knows the back and forth BS of 3.5 year relationship and being engaged and then it doesnt work out. I decided ok it didn't work, move on..LOL Acceptance is a beatiful thing. I got caught up yesterday in the back and forth e-mail thing. Man that damn old famliar pain. What does a drunk do with pain, we drown it, numb it, and black-it-out.

In the last 3 weeks my life has changed in miracle proportions. EVERYTHING for the most part is going well but the best thing of it all is I have peice of mind again. Life isn't rosy grand but managable, copeable without booze and actually fun and challenging again. That pain last night sent me running to what I know - the bottle. Funny how drunks think - I am no fool I damn well know not getting wasted is the reason things are good, but nevertheless I DIDN'T GIVE A DAMN. I even rationally thought it all out - meaning things are soo good you wanna ****-it up? DIDN'T CARE. I had a bunch of things I needed to do today for work and a morning meeting - DIDN'T CARE. I said to myself it's not the first time you had to function with a hang-over, you have done it a million times.

At 5:30pm I took my naltrexone, loaded my dog in the car and off to the liquor store. Here is where the miracles come in. First I have 2 full half gallons of whiskey - lol actually in my liquor cabinet so technically I did not have to go anywhere, but that was NOT an option which is miracle number 1. Miracle number 2 was I actually had zero beer in the house. Miracle number 3. I was turning to beer? uh? what?. Miracle number 4. I only bought a 12 pack. In the past I would NEVER buy a 12 pack..christ to me that is like the sampler tray they bring you at the micro-brewerys. A situation like this pain would call for a 30 pack..22+ would fix the pain.

Man I was going to get wasted. I figured Naltrexone oblitrerated my tolerance so 12 should do it and if not I had whiskey for a back-up so what if I puke, it not the first time vomiting. I was bound and determined to get banged up and blacked-out drunk.

Miracle number 5 and the BIGGEST - I got home by 6:30pm had to stop at some other places. Made dinner had a coke. Decided to start drinking after dinner. At 7pm poped my first beer and broke out my guitar ( which I had barley been playing when drinking hard - xm radio was easier and I didn't want to get too drunk and step or fall on my martin). After about 10 songs i noticed I barley touched my beer so I finished it...warm. It was 9pm now. Got another beer and kept playing. Barley touched that beer - finshed it about 11pm or should say dumped half out because it was warm. During the second beer I actually got up and got a coke and pounded the oh so cold coca cola. THIS WAS EFFORTLESS AND SUBCONCIOUS. I had every intention to get wasted.

Playing guitar was not meant to take my mind off the urge. I don't fight the urge with TSM. The guitar was meant to add to my drunken experience. Give me a sad mood from the break-up, a guitar ( a know a bizzilion tunes) some sad country or rock tunes, some booze and I good to go all night.

Needless to say I got up at 5:30am clear as the day is long pounded my work out had my meeting and am now blowing the rest of the day off and hitting the beach with my dog for some frisbee and GOD DAMN I feel good. When I got up I was like a kid on Christmas Morning seeing those 10 lonely soldiers in the refrigirator untouched and said out loud " hell yeah baby thank-you god".

I know for me - I am NOT KNOCKING AA THIS IS ME AND ONLY ME - if I was in AA or an abstienence based program I would have been WASTED last night with the cycle and hellish circle begining again. TSM squashed it. The reason I know AA would never work for me is my beleif system. AA has the principal you can't or shouldn't do it on your own - it almost never works. I was raised by a single mother who got no child support, and had a sister. When my mother left my father she had $1,000 no driver's liscence, no where to stay, her family wouldn't help her and was completely on her own. Long story short she went to work learned how to drive in 2 years bought a house put me and my sister in private school and eventually paid in full for college for both of us. We werent rich by any means, but my sister and I never knew things were tough or a financial hardship was occuring.

From my up bringing it has been cemented in me anything you want is possible but you have to do it yourself. No one is going to help you. At the end of the day when you lay your head down it's you and you alone - nobody gives a damn. Cept mabye a few close friends and family. As an adult, I have always been self suffcient - meaning I have never leaned on woman for wash, cooking cleaning etc..all me. Finances all me. In business I have done things and been successful many times were I had a long list of people telling me that will never work. I did it anyway..some worked some didn't..but my attitude was win lose or draw..it's up to me it's my life. My way or the highway...LOL Probably why I am still single at 42...but whatever as long as I am realtively satisfied and content it's all I can ask for.

The book a Cure for Alcoholism mentions TSM is a great treatment method for chronic relapsers - I couldn't agree more.

Sorry for rambling...beach time with roscoe my german shepherd.

Love it dude. Hope you keep going. I have to start participating here again. I did a shift change and it is hard to do w/ kids and wife around. I am in your corner.

AJ

Thanks...I am too scared to say that...too scared if I say it something will happen..the amount of time scares me to meaning It happened really fast for me and I have been drinking hard for like a good 10 years at heavy levels...figure I will wait another 2 months if it's the same then yes..cured..but right now if this was all that happened and it stays this way..F-ing A...way satisfied and cured for my purpose...or as firebird wrote..at the helm and in control

[fistbump]



-Ned

AJ

No pressure at all my friend..I have been wondering and thinking about the cured word a lot..the only thing that makes me hesitant it is that this only my tenth week. For me my experience has been the honeymoon that never quit..it just kept getting better and better.

I feel very very fortunate that this occurred the way it has. Question for you..The more I am not getting wasted and barley drinking when I do it just gets easier and easier..The naltrexone seems to have an even stronger effect when I drink now. Did this happen to you?

I am very convinced whiskey and hard liquor straight is a thing of the past...still like the ocassional mojito if I make my own but have only one...max 2 over 3 hours or so...like said recently beer is not tasting so good so I am assuming that is the next to go...I am not too worried about it though..I cant past 3-4..LOL

I am superstious with this..meaning all good things have a price..LOL I pray your right about the jinx..pretty sure you are

Week 10 ending Jan 30th
units 5

Well after AJ's post on my thread if this up coming week was like the last few I am going to say add me to the cured list..I can't see or even think or feel it wont be any different. Alcohol is having no affect any longer and is really not a major part of my life. I never thought this was going to be possible and not in a hair over 2 months...NO WAY. Reading everyone's journey here I was prepared I was going to take 6-9 months for results. Any sooner would be like winning the lottery and we all know the odds on that one. From day 1 naltrexone had a powerful effect in reducing my tolerance and has gotten me to the point that being drunk or buzzed does not feel good..it's hard to describe..I now feel like if I was to get drunk I would just end vomiting and being absolutly miserable...I have faced some seriously hard drinking triggers in the last two months..just about everyone I could think of and I took my naltrexone and drank when they came. The tolerance was smashed everytime and kept getting lower and lower and as the tolerance faded so did being drunk. With not being drunk my life..or more so my rational mind has returned.

Naltrexone was powerful from day one but now it is like superman fighting booze...VERY powerful. Meaning if I want a beer I take my naltrexone and have one but I am starting not to finish even one at times...I really can't see going past 3 MABYE 4...4 I would be highly buzzed. With this new feeling it's so easy to stop or really not to even get started. The thing that does sort of scare me though is in the not so long ago past I could SERIOUSLY POUND ANYTHING..now almost nothing and am begining to really choose nothing and not think about it. The part that scares me is it WAS TOO EASY - take a pill and drink. I keep pinching myself like am I dreaming, is this real, where's the catch?

The other HUGE thing this week I had three close friends at 3 different times comment about how DIFFERENT I sound. They all know about TSM and me trying to quit or control my drinking whatever you want to call it. They said it to me like out of the blue in normal conversation..my respone each time was well you know I was killing alcohol and each one seperatly said the same thing basically..yeah I know you havent been drunk in a while lol or called me drunk..it's not just that you sound SO DIFFERENT..Happy motivated ..and damn haven't heard you this way in years.

I sort of look at alcoholism like a treadmill that spun out of control and once your on it , it's damn close to impossible to get off, at least you feel that way when on it. But once you off the treadmill and continue not to get back on it..it gets easier and easier and life just falls into place. Naltrexone is what threw the brakes on the treadmill PLAIN AND SIMPLE. IT WAS NOTHING I DID - except take the pill and wait an hour to drink as I normally do. As far as my life falling into place thats another story - it was just so easy to do the right thing that I knew I should have been doing without the vice and hell of alcohol to kind of sum it up in a simple manner. And life is just getting better and better, the same old stress and BS is there but without drowning in a whiskey soaked mind it is managable and actually challenging and fun..not sure if fun is the right word...put it this way I now have peice of mind...by biggest gift from TSM. With peice of mind anything is possible.

I beleive I have been given a seond chance at life and plan to make the most of this chance, my drinking to me and the people close to me was like a near death experience..cliche sounding maybe, but TRUE. I learned of TSM by a woman at MWO..she read my story I posted and sent me a PM..her screen name was Brit0ny...she has a thread here but I have not seen her post in quite a while I hope and pray she is ok. Funny intially I thought the PM was an infomercial..sounded way too good to be true. Brit0ny if you ever get a chance to read this THANK YOU THANK YOU - YOU HELPED SAVE MY LIFE and HELPED RETURN ME TO A HAPPY LIFE WITHOUT THE CHAINS OF ALCOHOL. YOU ARE AN ANGEL. I will never forget that PM.

My suggestion to anyone thinking of quitting drinking or trying to control it and are adament you will not go to AA or another abstinence based program...even if you want to make a what I call half-assed attempt to quit or control your drinking to satify or shut up your wife husband boyfriend girfriend etc...Give TSM a try..You have ZERO to lose and everything possible gain...It's too simple.