Thanks crown. Yes at least I am not all alone. The problem is, I love my father and sister so very much, I am disgusted at myself what I am (or more precisely, what alcohol is) doing to them, too, through me

eight

8

But you are trying to do SOMETHING about it...a lot of people dont even try...just lay down and die...so You CAN'T be all that bad my friend..Your a fighter or you wouldn'y be here to begin with...your looking for a way so...sometimes we lose a few battles but keep your eye on winning the war...I know you are ...I know the hermit phase is a nightmare and the low self esteem and the guilt...It will pass

I'm praying for your Brother hang in there

Thank you so much crown, here is the song that I am trying to help give me greater strength right now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhamV6qA5Cs

8

Yeah Buddy...music seems to carry us drunks through...I play guitar...been my second best friend to the bottle when times are bad..Any song that " gets you thru" is a good one...not listened to much coldplay just listened to you link ...nice tune

Boys: 8 & Crown - you guys are awesome!! I love the support going on here. Crown, you are one very special man. 8, you are going to be fine, just hang in and keep listening to the music. Being a former musician myself (lead sinder/guitarist in an 80's New Wave band) - I know the power of music. It is absolutely essential to my core well-being.

I can't send you a link (I am tech-challenged), but google The King's Singers & try to find "You Are the New Day". OMG...its like finding ZuZu's petals!! LOL

Love you guys! Hang in - it WILL be OK!!!

XXXOOO

...and BTW/OMG - awesome song you linked in here, 8. Wow! Loved it - am a new fan of Coldplay!

There is a modern-day version of this wonderful song by Libera. Sample this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16Hyt75KJ7o

BTW, 8, I love the lyrics of the Coldplay song you quoted.

V.

Dear friends,

Thank you all so very much. Today has been a day of the usual pathetic tears of someone caught in 24/7 drinking, but thank goodness my sister has visited, and I have had the joy of seeing my lovely little niece (almost four in case she hasn't told you already!), who for some reason adores me, and my wonderful nephew who was one year old yesterday, and would be enjoying his birthday presents if his sister would only let him .

Houtx and Virgil, thank you so much for that song. It's beautiful, but also jars with me a bit right now. I am spiritual, but either god (in whatever form you believe in) has abandoned me, or he is trying to break me down to the very lowest of the low before he will let me get back up again. I so hope it's the latter, and my spirituality (NOT religion!) leads me to that as the only conclusion, but please no further discussion of god or God or religion on my thread here for the time being, it is too much for me to handle.

For anyone who enjoyed Coldplay, I will post a few more songs if I may, I hope some enjoy. It will give me a chance to listen to some of my favourites again

I cannot write much more. My valium prescription has run out and they are being so troublesome issuing me more. So I just drink to relieve my anxiety.

Thank you SO much for the support my friends, it means the world.

I think kids really do bring out the best in us and I understand why your niece adores you! 8, keep thinking about them and the enjoyment you had seeing them it can be very uplifting.

Thanks for the coldplay link I really enjoyed it and don't laugh I never heard it before. Keeping you in my thoughts.

corkit

For anyone who wants more Coldplay:

The song I previously posted, not the acoustic but a live version. The back of my head is in this vid (I am shy and certainly did keep my head down and away from the TV cameras )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0youlVG ... L&index=19

The gig was held in the car park of the BBC. I was very lucky to attend. This song has a special meaning for me because I lived in Osaka, Japan, for may years. Sorry the audio is not great.

From the same gig, an acoustic version of their hit Yellow, this song also makes me cry:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsS2IT99J5A

A short clip of the live version from the intimate gig I was meant to attend last week, but was too ill:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ed1lKIdI ... L&index=20

The finale, ramshackle indeed, but lovely:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCZ5ae0v ... xt_from=PL

And my favourite Coldplay song ever, snaps my heart in two each and every time:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNtkOSuck2M