Nearing the end of Week 23 (5 months)

It's times like this that I wish I had kept track of the drinking and the feelings at this time last year. Holidays and a lot of work have always been huge triggers, building the need to blow off steam with Al. Well, just went through several days of socializing, cooking, guests, dinners out, hanging out, up late, pms... basically all the triggers I need. I drank but can honestly say, not ONCE did I feel out of control, emotional, hungover, sneaky or obsessed. I drank what I wanted, stopped when I wanted and I wasn't afraid.. that is so huge. For once, I really didn't worry about embarrassing myself or talking too much or getting stupid - and there were plenty of opportunities. By the end of 6 days in a row of drinking... was so relieved to not take Nal yesterday and get it out of my system.

Worked on my schedule for the month and am not worried about morning meetings / activities or the nights that drinking won't fit in.

Think I have come to the point of breaking through to the other side.. this may be the mid-point and hopefully not the end. Granted, the improvements are huge but there still may be a big spike period around the corner and I'm not at the final place I want to be.

I hope this is encouraging and helpful to everyone here, especially those around the 3 or 4 month who are having doubts...keep going..

Hi Virginia,

Thanks for your post. It's encouraging...and I need that. I've just finished a roller coaster of a ride with Thanksgiving, and don't feel proud of myself at all. Too much time hanging around family members I don't really connect with, too much drinking, and -- for me -- acting out in ways that are unbecoming and embarrassing.

I'm 17 weeks into NAL and really wish I could have a good stretch, like you seem to be experiencing. I'm not giving up, but I am discouraged.

Sante

Sante,

Your good stretch will come soon! Believe me, I went through a questionable few weeks before this stretch of time. One thing that kept me on a negative track was drinking the normal, habitual amounts while my body was losing tolerance to alcohol. It took me awhile to believe that my tolerance was reduced and I'm now paying more attention and actually slowing down or stopping instead of thinking that hey, it's only X number of drinks and I could always drink X with no problem.

Looking back at my notes from weeks 16 - 21, there are a ton of spike days, then good days.. very random. It's only the last 12 days that there have been no spikes and a gradual feeling of control -wouldn't have even noticed if not for looking back at the notes. The best part is that I really wasn't using will power, I was finally just going with what I felt like doing, would have had more AF days if not for the constant socializing.

I'm also expecting a spike soon...just seems to happen after a good period but this 12 days has been the longest good stretch yet..

Just move on and don't dwell on the acting out - family inspires that

Thanks Virginia,

Somehow I missed the point that NAL actually decreases your tolerance to alcohol. Is that really true? I know that it inhibits the pleasure or high one gets from alcohol, but I didn't realize that you need to monitor drinks because your not processing it the same.

Are you sure on this?

Sante

Sante,

Sorry for making the decrease in tolerance sound like an absolute fact - it's something I've noticed and maybe some other people have commented on it but I don't think it's officially documented. I've had a long, long history of drinking the same number and kind of drinks and can't do it anymore. Well, if I push through I can but I really pay for it.

Think others have posted about a 'rewinding' effect.. that in essence, as you go back to your pre-alcoholic drinking, you lose the built-up tolerance and the hangovers come more easily.

So, no - I'm not sure but it is my experience....

It may be more of a perception thing. I've never read anywhere that naltrexone affects tolerance in any physiological way. I think that as the pleasure of drinking erodes, we perceive alcohol as we did early on in our drinking history (the rewinding). From time to time I can smell and taste the alcohol in wine and even beer. Remember when you first drank, and had to get used to the taste because of the unpleasant alcohol? I also think we notice our own impairment more easily when we are not basking in the warm glow of intoxication, so we perceive that our tolerance seems lower. Just my two cents.

Thanks Virginia and Lena for the clarification. I definitely see that NAL impedes pleasure from alcohol, but I have to consciously think about it to derive any benefit (drink less).

Sante

Sign of success...

Went to a Christmas party and was on the other side for once..the side of being in control. There was no pre-party drink at home nor craving for one... there was no feeling of urgency to get in line for a drink when mine was close to gone..had mentally established my limit and kept to it.. there was no drunken conversations (at least on my end).. and it was interesting to observe others going down my former path. Had a really good time, did feel buzzed but not crazy, and got up in the morning with no ill effects.

The main thing that really surprises me is the lack of drinking before hand - don't think that has ever happened before. I did think of getting a drink while getting ready but the thought just wasn't intense enough to actually make it happen and then time slipped away..

I never believed this would happen...that I could set limits and not feel deprived - it's pretty @#$%^& amazing.

Congratulations Virginia! What a wonderful feeling it must be to be in control of AL and to be on the other side of the bottle, someday that will be me and my husband

Wishing you all the best on your road which seems to be coming to an end.

corkit

Awesome Virginia!

It's incredible when you throw a little will power in there. It's actually a CHOICE now, where restraint used to be impossible. "Buzzed but not crazy" is a great place to be - you get to enjoy alcohol without it taking over your life. I'm very happy for you, and hope this good news continues.