Update from Prov!

Ok so I realize that my updates are hit and miss, but life seems to happen as I'm not paying attention.

I've stopped depending on unit count but focus on the quality of my life, which is sooooo much better than ever before!

I have good weeks every week. Yes, sometimes the count is higher but it's different than before I started TSM.

This week was great 4 days AF without a thought. No cravings, no white knuckle, no passing by a store wishing I had stopped. The one time it happened the thought was so quick I didn't even have a chance to apply the breaks on my car. I think that was a stress moment on the way home and I thought "screw it" it's too much effort to wait an hour. Went home had dinner with Mr. Providence, watch TV and turned in for the night.

My Update for week 32 and 33

Ok so how shocked was I that I had 5 AF nights while going out to happy hour 3 nights in one week!

I had to add my count 3 times to make sure it was right. I even had to ask Mr. Providence "are you sure I didn't drink more and lose count" He hugged me and said "No, baby, it had been so good having you back"

We are both careful not to get to excited, it's the winter and I suffer from SAD really BAD!

I take my NAL everytime I drink, If I think I'm going to drink over an extended period, such as the weekend I an extra dose after the 15 hour mark.

I will say I did 100 mg for a few weeks and then moved to 50 mg every 12 hours on extended drinking days. NAL does not stop me from drinking but having to take NAL stops me from wanting to start in the first place. Not because it's bad, or side-effects but more because I have to wait and then I have to think is it really worth it when I have to go to work, go to bed, make dinner or just live life. Sometimes the drink isn't worth the wait.

I have bad days and if I want a drink, I have one or many and that's ok.... but life is so much better.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I will thank this forum and TSM for giving me back my life

From 100+ units @ 10%+ AL per unit
to 25 units @ 4.5 AL per unit

I never say I'm cured but I am well adjusted

Em -- I can't tell you how good it was to read your progress. I remember the hopelessness you felt when you first showed up. You (and Mr. Providence) have stuck it out, even when progress seemed stalled. I'm so grateful you keep coming back to share. I think those with spouses who are skeptical could benefit from reading your posts and tracing your progress, to share with their own spouse. You are very fortunate to have such a supportive spouse and I'm glad he stuck around to "have you back". Continued blessings for you both. Please keep coming back to share your experience.

I haven't updated since November so here is my update. In December of last year my Mr. P lost his job and I lost mine (not because of AL but because I was on a goverment contract and we lost it). I tried really hard to find a new job but in this area is hard to find an IT job anywhere these days. I even went to retail stores and applied to wait on tables. Mr. P found a job but it was costing us over 100.00 a week for gas and tolls, the hours were long and the pay was crap. By Feb we were behind on our house payments and they wouldn't work with us at all. I lost my insurance and so did he. I ran out of Nal in January, so I decided to try cold turkey but the WD was so bad it didn't happen. At the end of Feb we decided that filing bankrupt would be better than foreclosure. I sold my car to pay the lawyer and proceeded to pack up my house. We decided that Las Vegas or New Mexico would be better for my seasonal disorder so we choose LV because it was cheaper (not the strip outside in Henderson). Will out NAL my drinking got way out of control, my units shot up to way more than before. We starting selling off all the stuff we didn't need. We had enough money to get there and have a few months to pay bills and rents. On the final day we packed the truck we went to have dinner with his Mom and on the way (I was following him in my car while he drove the UHaul) I stopped at a store and bought a 6 pack and vodka. After dinner we continued driving and I drove off the road into a snow bank. He not knowing I was drinking call 911 and I got a DUI on the side of the road.... 1,000.00 bond and 24 hours later I was out of jail and he was demoralized. He called my sister and brother to come help him while he got me out of jail. They drove us back to where we started and I stayed in a hotel for a few days with him a few rooms away. He decided we needed to stay in the area for 1. the court date for my DUI, 2. We now couldn't afford to move because of my DUI 3. Bankrupt court. We moved 45 mins away to a larger city were he could get a job. I got a job in a bakery in a food chain for min wage and only 25 hours a week and he works 10am till almost mid-night. I work 3pm to 8pm and I think it's mostly to keep me busy. I've pretty much stayed drunk since March. I started hiding it from Mr. P because beer is one thing, but sweet tea vodka is much cheaper (13.45 usd for 1.75) I wake up with the shakes everymorning and wait for him to go to work and pray the beer store opens at 9am so I can get more. I come home pass out and then walk to work. Buy more on the way home and pass out before he gets home. He gets so mad at me over the vodka. I have an appt for a state funded medical program for alcoholics but they will never give me NAL, they will put me in rehab or outcare. At this point getting over the WD would be good because after the second day of being AF they are so bad I can't stand it and I think I'm going to die. I take OTC sleep aids to knock me out when I'm out of AL.

I miss my NAL so badly. I was down to 5 AL free days and less then 4 units a week..... argh. I'm saving up now for a month of NAL so I can buy a prepaid visa card to get some but we struggle with me only making 90.00 a week and him just finding a job it will be a few months since we have to pay rent and stuff.

I will make it back.... and back to TSM.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you can get back on Nal somehow, but whatever you have to do in the mean time, give it your best. that's all you can do and it's something to be proud of. Good luck.

Very sorry to hear this. But naltrexone worked before and be confident it will work again.

My very best to you in these incredibly trying times.

Providence, I'm so sorry it sounds like the heavens opened up on you! I'll be praying for you that you can get back on Nal and also that something wonderful will happen to you and your husband in the near future.

corkit

Whatever we can do to help.....

I'm imagining that I could spare some NAL especially as I won;t be using it for a bit...PM me your address and lets get you back on track. I'll get you 5 pills. Best, Jim

PS I know there are some others here that would help you

Oh. My. God. Providence! I am soooooo sorry! I would advise you to tell the rehab people how much NAL helped you. Don't tell them about TSM - just that you took it and were able to abstain for so long. Tell them your story! It is valid and convincing. NAL is a commonly prescribed medication that most in the AL/drug rehab industry know about. Good luck & let us know. I too, would be willing to send a few pills...if a bunch of us do it you could be set for awhile at least. Unfortunately you may be back at Square 1 what with the last 4 months off it.

Gosh, I am so sorry! Keep us posted -
XO

Awful news; I just read back through your postings and you were right on the cusp.

I'm new here, but PM me if you can't get a scrip from your state program - I'll try to help.

Stay strong.