As Reality Turns UPDATE

AsRealityTurns · **Posted:** Sat Oct 31, 2009 2:59 pm

corkit wrote:

Wow ART, 5 units that's great! Maybe setting a goal or a time is the answer. My thoughts are with you and your husband. What does he say when he sees that you've only had 5 units this week? Isn't he encouraged with this?

corkit

I am doing all of this undercover. So far so good! I hope to get to the end because I have bad dreams of "sneaking" AL night after night, which is another motivating factor in my change of perspective in regards to AL.

Slipping up a little today as HB (husband) is in a weird mood, hopefully after he digests lunch he will mellow out.
Getting ready for Halloween party tonight,

:evil:

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! :

corkit · **Joined:** Fri Sep 04, 2009 4:53 pm **Posts:** 478

so you're doing this undercover that in itself is amazing. He has to notice the change in you, how could he not? Have fun tonight and don't let the goblins get you! :lol:

corkit

AsRealityTurns · **Posted:** Sun Nov 08, 2009 11:40 pm

Ok gang, I had six AF days then had an emotional "trigger" and I have my 2 bottles of vino per day habit right back again, including a bit of gin (yes I bought myself some gin).
I have been drinking all day and I really do not "feel" inebriated. Nor did I feel like drinking, I just did it, why?
This entire experience is very difficult for me to understand.
I am going to persevere, I do believe there is "something" to TSM and I have felt a benefit, however slow,

corkit · **Joined:** Fri Sep 04, 2009 4:53 pm **Posts:** 478

ART, it sounds like the old brain is begging for you to come back to the way it was before. Hang in there, it's awesome having all those AF days! Focus on that.

corkit

AsRealityTurns · **Posted:** Mon Nov 09, 2009 11:28 am

Thanks corkit, I had another response very similar to your thought. I am going to accept that, and continue moving forward. It did throw me for a loop, and I really feel hung over today. The good thing is feeling this way really feels crummy, imagine I used to feel like this every morning years ago. So I will look at it as a continuing learning process.
Did you receive my pictures, I did send you an email....maybe five days ago.....?

corkit · **Joined:** Fri Sep 04, 2009 4:53 pm **Posts:** 478

ART, I didn't get an email from you, can you try again and let me know when you send it?

corkit

houtx · **Joined:** Wed Apr 15, 2009 8:39 pm **Posts:** 872

ART - don't beat yourself up. You had a great week, have been determined and the NAL has helped, hasn't it? A relapse is not a failure. Hang in there and be easy on yourself. Your progress has been amazing and inspiring! I am happy for you - you have had a tremendous amount of heartbreak and stress. In spite of all that's going on, you have abstained and that is GREAT!!

Don't worry about a relapse. You are normal and it happens. Just hope you bought the good stuff! LOL

XO

AsRealityTurns · **Posted:** Mon Nov 09, 2009 11:29 pm

Oh houtx, so sweet! Kind words, yes life is too short for cheap wine, and/or gin for that matter.
Thanks for the understanding and cheerleading. I really am hard on myself, and you do help me to have a better perspective.

AsRealityTurns · **Posted:** Fri Nov 27, 2009 10:12 pm

Kind of tired....! But I thought it was a good time to update.
My numbers are back up, but I had dinner last night with a large group, and I had 1/2 glass of wine, I WAS slipping in other drinks earlier and later.
But the fact is I was able to sit and not think too much about "Where is my next glass?"
Managed to get through the day with (I believe) aplomb, never feeling in my cups.
I am in the belief the nal helps me to be so much more sober, but hey, maybe I am only "fooling" myself.

I continue.....to take my nal.....

AsRealityTurns · **Posted:** Mon Apr 05, 2010 1:11 pm

An update, I am really having a terrible time.
My husband is now back to the definite divorce and I have everything to lose.
I lose my home which was his before we met 34 years ago and really when I look around it is all me, everything last thing.
I thought I would at least get another nice home we have but he is saying I will not be able to afford it.
He losses nothing, stays in the home, has his family, (my step children and granddaughter) I see him surrounding himself with them for support and shutting me out.

This is all on and off again, things were just wonderful a few weeks ago. Now I am making him crazy, you know, "Please love me again"
It's the worst of the way to win to win back a heart.
I just wanted to check in. ART

As Reality Turns UPDATE

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