Oops. I forgot it was the end of the week and time to post my weekly graph. I'm at work right now, so I can't post my graph, but I had only 2 drinks on Wednesday and the other 6 days were all AF days. I have had 5 beers in the fridge since Wednesday, but haven't had any desire to drink them.

I'll post the graph later when I get back home.

Regarding my previous post about being different; In some ways I am and in some ways I'm not different. There are some evening habits that seem to have gotten extinguished along with the alcohol. Examples would be I don't shower or brush my teeth in the evening now. I switched to the morning. If I get exceptionally dirty during the day, I'll take a shower immediately afterward now, knowing I just won't want to when it's bedtime. A lot of my TV viewing is now gone. I lost interest in most every evening show I used to watch.

I now diddle around on the computer, play the guitar, play music, or play an online game. Also, I have ice cream almost every night now and I've never had that habit, although I've consciously cut down on the amount recently.

Oh and another thing... I used to go out in the evenings quite often, not every night, but about 3 nights per week, non-alcohol related activities. Now, I am glued to my couch after I get home. I don't want to go anywhere. It seems such a hassle. Yet, each morning I still wake up at the same time every morning pre-dawn and either go to work, or check my email and the forum posts if it's the weekend. So, my mornings are unchanged; it's the evenings that are quite different.

I was a daily evening drinker and that is what has been extinguished by TSM. But other evening habits seem to have been extinguished as well. The morning habits have remained unchanged.

Would I do TSM again, knowing that other habits may be changed also? YES, in a heartbeat!

Bob

Yeah, this is interesting. I too am a daily evening drinker. I'm finding that I am much more likely to sit down and watch some tv with my wife, rather than sit at the computer all night sipping wine. I'm also a lot more likely to leave the house to go to the hardware store to pick up bits for a project, or to go shopping, or whatever. Before I was in a hurry to get home, crack that bottle, and once I'd started, no way was I leaving the house. Now I'm still drinking my two drinks most nights, but I'm not in such a hurry to get started, and if there's something else to do, I am more than willing to do it.

I've also changed a bit in that I think I'm actually nicer to be around. I don't get so easily frustrated with myself and everything else, as I did when I was drinking to excess.

On the down side, the chronic pain that started me "self-medicating" is more noticeable these days, but strangely, it bothers me less than it did. I have NO DESIRE to smother it with alcohol. I feel I have other coping methods now, and it is what it is.

Hi Bob – First of all, congratulations on all you’ve accomplished – you really are an inspiration to so many people on this forum (and one of the main reasons I joined to begin with). This is a little off the wall, but I thought I'd ask if you have read or heard about PAWS (post-addiction withdrawal syndrome)? As I understand it, it’s a physiological/emotional/behavioral mix of effects that can happen even weeks after people go through a withdrawal process from an addictive substance.

I would imagine that one of the wonderful things about TSM is that with the gradual tapering that occurs with the NAL a lot of the more profound withdrawal effects wouldn’t happen, but I guess you really are in uncharted territory as a successful graduate . Please excuse me if I’m wrongly interpreting several of your last posts, but to me it reads a bit as if you’re feeling a flattening of your emotions? I wonder if you might be experiencing some of the symptoms that go along with PAWS (which can include emotional numbness). I gather there is some debate about how long this can go on and what to do about it, but here are several articles in case you think it might be of interest:

This is a detailed description of PAWS:
http://www.drugalcoholaddictionrecovery.com/?p=37

This is an interesting article from Time which is mostly about the process of addiction but has some good stuff about de-addiction in the brain:
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/artic ... -1,00.html

And this is about the possible benefits of using acamprosate post-withdrawal in repairing some of the wiring. I know a lot of people don’t think it works to help reduce cravings etc, but in this case it might be of benefit?
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1590 ... rom=pubmed

Anyway, the message I take away from you loud and clear is that it’s worth getting to where you are -- congratulations again!
Sabrina

As promised, TSM week 36:

Bob

No, I had not heard of that syndrome before.
My psychiatrist has warned me to look out for "emotional blunting" which can occur from the meds I take to treat my chronic hypomania, It's difficult for me to observe, since I'm on the inside looking out. I have re-read some of my own posts from a half year ago and found them more entertaining and funnier. I seem to have lost that lately.

Thanks! I'll check those links and compare it to my current situation. Also, I see my psychiatrist on Wednesday and I'll ask him about PAWS and see what he thinks.

Thanks again, sabrina.
And thanks to others who read and post on my progress thread.

Bob

Hi Bob,
Just read this in The Daily Telegraph (UK newspaper) and thought of you.
Now we know why you're eating ice-cream!!

"Ice cream

A scoop of ice cream can give your mood a noticeable lift. A study by the Institute of Psychiatry in London has found out why – because eating ice cream can light up the brain's pleasure zones. Just one lick is enough to stimulate the orbitofrontal cortex, the main processing area and the part of the brain associated with the pleasures of sex and eating." http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink ... foods.html

I'm sorry - I don't know how to do a link
I can't find this study but the geeky people on here may be able to.
Chris

This is a very interested thread. Bob, I would think that you would go out More at night and not just want to stay home. So I think it makes sense that something is going on like Sabrina said. I wonder if it's just a phase that takes time to get past. I am curious to what your psyc will have to say. Keep us posted!

Just one drinking night on Tuesday. I had 4 beers. Gave me an awful headache the next day and my eyes were baggy for 3 days afterward! 4 drinks used to be a warm-up for the evening. Also, I noticed that it took me awhile to get through the first drink and when I was done, I debated whether to have another. After a couple hours, I decided to have the second and I "drank through" the Naltrexone. I use that term because I've seen others use the term before and now I understand. The third and fourth were easy, then I fell asleep. Woke up and then it was time for bed. I had gotten a fifth beer out to drink before falling asleep and I just dumped it, rather than find the cap and put it back in the fridge.

Anyway, that last experience, left me sour toward drinking altogether for the time being. It may be awhile before I do it again. In retrospect, I ought to have been more attuned to my initial alcohol response and stopped at one.

This weeks graph:



Bob

I noticed that over the last month I have only one drinking day per week. I am just not interested in drinking on any given day. The desire seems to arise about once a week on some random day. This week, I thought I drank 3 beers and went to bed, but when I checked the fridge the next evening, I counted 4 that were missing. I was bummed out by that little revelation. Not only did I lose count, but I would think my drink count per session would be dropping to even lower numbers since my overall average weekly numbers are still declining.

Don't misunderstand this concern. Only 9 months ago, I would drink 7 to 8 units per night every night of every week. Now, I drink 4 units per night only once per week. I'd like it to be lower, but it is what it is. Although the overall consumption has dropped along an exponential curve, the units per session have dropped in an almost linear fashion. It'll be interesting to see if these trends continue.

Bob

I feel for your situation Bob. That just sucks...