Hi CSOW,

Ah, that's kind of you and greatly appreciated.

Best wishes.

V.

Congrats on making progress. Some have added resolve to their equation. Do you think that in the studies, the act of participating in the study, thDr.'s support, the setting in general could possibly took that part of the equation? I just got done writing some on Nick's "Flaws" thread and feel that the environment of a lab study has to be taken into account when looking at any of the results. Now if the subjects were to do this on their own, I believe the results would be slightly different. ala thesinclairmethod.com.

Hi rapper,

I must firstly apologize for not having got back to you sooner. It's becoming increasingly more difficult to keep up with things - particularly as I am trying to spend less time glaring at my monitor. Square eyes? You bet!

As you will be aware, I am one of those that are trying to apply a degree of resolve. I do think it's entirely possible that the clinical setting may have helped to inject a measure of resolve into the equation.

All the best.

V.

Hi Folks,

The long and (not so) winding road that leads...? (with apologies to The Beatles).

So, I've now completed Week 34 on TSM. Once again, I'm reasonably happy with my units - at least they're not going up. And, as with Week 33, during this last week I have experienced a good deal of anxiety. There is every possibility that this is the result of a low GABA level, which I am trying to address with dietary supplements. Whatever the reason, I am in no doubt that anxiety is currently responsible for a lot of my drinking. But, I have no intention of going back on benzos and I would prefer not to bring baclofen into the mix. So, I'll weather the storm and hope that my anxiety subsides. The annoying thing is that I know what is causing my anxiety but it doesn't stop it coming. That's a topic for my therapist.

Anyway, I have now started on the supplements and I intend to introduce more as time progresses. I want to do this gradually - just in case there are any side-effects or other surprises. So far, so good, but it's very early days as I only started in earnest last Thursday. The main supplements I have introduced are the amino acids, glutamine and taurine. And then, there are a few extras. It is a bit of a fag having to remember to take these but it's a small price to pay if they prove to be of benefit. Only time will tell.

Once again, I am noticing that, after two or three drinks, I am affected by the alcohol. At one time (prior to TSM), this would not have happened. When I say 'affected', I'm referring mostly to alcohol's sedative effect. Bearing in mind that most of my drinking is done in the evening, this is not necessarily a bad thing. It sets me up for bed. The point is that, when I become aware of the sleepiness, it has the effect of slowing down, and therefore reducing, my alcohol intake. So, I repeat what I have said before and that is - if TSM is going to work for me, it is not by reducing the craving but by making me sleepy. I'm not entirely comfortable with that thought.

I am coming to the conclusion that I may still have success with TSM. When I look back over the changes that I have made over the last few months - eliminating benzos (and the Z-drugs)/increasing naltrexone dosage - I may, just may, have a better chance of success. Couple this with the (optimistic?) timescales quoted in The Cure... for achieving a cure and - you get the picture! Having said all that, I feel it's important to be absolutely honest with myself and accept that I still may be in that 10 - 20% group for whom TSM does not work. I need to be prepared for that possible outcome.

Sorry about this rather long diatribe!

V.

I am so glad that you have optimism and some hope! Keeping my fingers and toes crossed that you are not in the 10 to 20%!

We are all rooting for you.

My best,

Nick

A belated thank you, Nick...........V.

deleted by BGH

Hi BGH,

Good to hear from you.

Yes, there would appear to be a downward trend. I just hope that I can maintain it, though. I would not be surprised if my units creep up this week as I'm having a dreadful time with my anxiety. And this, in turn, is causing me to drink more. I'm a bit perplexed as to why my anxiety is spiking at the moment. I don't think it's related to my withdrawal from either the benzos or Z-drugs unless I'm experiencing a delayed reaction. Rather, I think the more likely explanation is my withdrawal from Seroxat; although I am doing this very slowly, the increased anxiety has been occurring at the same time as the last stages of tapering the Seroxat.

Whatever the explanation, my anxiety is debilitating at times and I am sick of it. I guess it will pass but, right now, it's making my life very difficult.

All the best to you.

V.

Hi Folks,

The last 24 hours have been a nightmare! Yesterday evening, my anxiety became unbearable and my alcohol consumption increased as a result. I'm normally in bed by midnight but not so on this occasion. In the early hours of this morning, I 'caved in' and decided that I needed to resort to medication. So, I took some diazepam and felt that I had failed myself by going back to a benzo. However, the diazepam had the desired effect; it enabled me to go to bed and get some sleep.

Today, I don't feel a failure for having taken the diazepam. What I have realized is that it should be OK to resort to a benzo on an as-needed basis. And it looks as though there will be times when it's necessary. But, I have some urgent work to do with my therapist to tame this anxiety beast. It's a bitter pill to swallow knowing that my anxiety can still get this bad after many years of therapy.

V.

Hi Folks,

Well, the old soldier keeps plodding on!

So, I now have 35 weeks of TSM in the bag and, unfortunately, real progress still evades me. My units are up a tad last week and this is the result of spikes of debilitating anxiety. I'm both surprised and pleased that the units are not much higher; I have had to apply a good deal of self-control.

I am still researching the alternatives to TSM - in preparation for a possible change of direction in the New Year.

My naltrexone dosage has now been 100mg (one hour before drinking) for close on 12 weeks and doesn't appear to have made any significant difference when compared to the original dosage of 50mg (one hour before drinking).

And that's about it.

V.