Thanks so much for the kind and thoughtful replies, everybody, they have been a tremendous help.

I should have said last night that I will be talking to my private doctor about this issue when I see him in the next couple of weeks. After consideration today, I'm quite hopeful that I'll be able to find a solution. I am not prepared to come clean with my GP, let him know that I have been lying to him for the last three months, and have that on my health records for the rest of my life. But there may be another way around it - telling him (another lie, but the last) that I'll be starting TSM soon. This may or may not include input from my private doc, depending on what that discussion brings.

In the meantime I am sure nothing dramatic is likely to happen to bring things to a head, so I can stop worrying so much, though it will be at the back of my mind till it's resolved. Being proactive though, I need to reduce my drinking levels with greater resolve, and start introducing AF days, so I can avoid dramatic withdrawal symptoms if I should need to stop drinking for a bit.

Soulby, thanks so much for your concern. Although it may not seem like it from this thread, my anxiety is not too bad at the moment and everything is going pretty well, the physical dependence (again) on alcohol aside But this topic has been a concern to me. I think it's quite an important aspect of the way I've chosen to go (TSM) and I do hate being dishonest.

Thank you everybody once again for your advice, it's been greatly appreciated

Oh and I've been hard on my GP, I know - I can absolutely understand his concern, he saw what alcohol did to me over four or five months 24/7 drinking and not functioning at all. Not to be dramatic, but I count myself very lucky indeed to be alive today. Functioning (eating, shopping, doing housework - living) regular (daily) diazepam use of up to 10mg a day is preferable to a fast and painful death via nothing but being sick, drinking, and regular emergency hospitalisation, whichever way you look at it. I know he's done his best for me, even though it falls far short of the ideal.