Nick, Once again, you cut to the chase for many of us here, especially us "old-timers". Yeah - what is the deal??!! What are we to measure ourselves against, hope for and expect?! Oddly, I was just thinking back tonight on the way home, as I was thinking about that cold chardonnay in the frig, wishing I WASN"T thinking about it, why I do, what about TSM...how long it's been, how many months now on 100mgs (3) and if it is EVER going to kick in. Thinking I will stay on 100 mgs til my 1 yr anniversary Feb 6th and then talk it over w/ my psychiatrist/drug dispenser...see what next.
UGH - I, too, remember so well going into Barnes & Noble last January to the self-help aisle, looking for something to help me deal, figure out, bring hope or answers to my life & my heavy drinking. So sick of it. When I found the book, I too, thought the whole premise was "selling snake oil" but I had NEVER heard of using medication to treat alcohol addiction. My real therapist (who I don't see anymore) is a total devotee of AA and not licensed to dispense meds, but still...what a disservice not to know of and suggest his clients seek medication of any kind! No - just stupid therapy. Ha ha - he was learning and getting more from me than the reverse!! tsk tsk
I was soooooooooo excited and hopeful when I started. This forum, meeting all you good people has changed my life...but alas, the use of Naltrexone has not. I never had the honeymoon period, never had any side effects. I have perhaps been drinking less just because I'm keeping count (mostly - have slacked off in the last few weeks). But really and truly, my feeling is, unless something radical happens, I am in the 20%. But you know what, while I was thinking about all this on the way home tonight, I also thought about something else. Perhaps, I may need more time and a higher dose. I will go with 100mgs until Feb., the 6 month mark and then talk about upping it again. Remember it's not dangerous until 300 mgs... so there is plenty of wiggle room.
I am not throwing in the towel. But sure, I feel discouraged sometimes. I have not done much of anything to cut back except take these pills and continue to drink..had episodes, but am keeping a journal and hoping should I die an untimely death, at least my loved ones will know I was TRYING...LOLish
It's really not enough. I am worried and sometimes disheartened at my lack of success, but I LIKE the idea of being a pioneer. Maybe that's it! Maybe we really are being the new frontier of unofficial successes on TSM. I hope so!! Wish the good Drs were more helpful and informative, but truth be told, as has been said, this is all new...to them too.
Thanks Nick, for addressing the questions and doubts out there so nicely again. Speaking to what so many of us have said all over the place. Again, I find great comfort, support, and hope logging on here. Wish I had time to address at other places, but it gets overwhelming sometimes. Don't know how you do it, but thanks so much for the help, support, and wisdom you offer here. It's appreciated very much! We WILL prevail and it WILL work - I just know it!! The best thing is, this forum - everyone here, the talking, etc, so therapuetic! Thanks all -
XO
_________________ Began TSM 2/09 ave 35 - 50 units/wk Months 6 - 12 @ 100mgs 2/10 Dropped to 50mgs; units same 4/10 stopped NAL & started BAC thru River 6/10 up to 120 mgs BAC w/ MAJOR SEs 7/10 titrating off BAC 8/10 starting Topamax w/ Dr.
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