I do suppose there will be other occassions and it is necessary that I find and "drink to them" though they feel like set-backs, in my opinion, I am simply identifying triggers that must be extinguished.

I dunno - what is NOT a trigger? I can always find an excuse. I have been taking NAL everyday for 5 wks now. Only noticing tiny differences and not enough to make me wanna go HMMMMM...but I am being patient and just living my normal day-to-day life. I never experienced that "honeymoon"...and I do find my first glass of wine does not taste as good...but the 2nd does...and everything after...

I feel like I am "drinking through it"...i.e. by drinking normally and it worries me. There hasn't been a single glass I haven't felt like finishing, etc. I am not disappointed, just trying to understand it takes time and am trying to drink slower, read my signs, triggers, etc. ehhhhhhhh -

But glug glug glug...there is a demon within that is trying to sabbotage all my good intentions...

Hey SR. So far I haven't had that experience of things going 'flat' on Nal. Is it possible that your 'brighter colors' are at least partially due to having the alcohol wash out of your system? I know for sure that since I've become a daily drinker that I do not have the same keen pleasure in life, or a sense of healthy spirituality, that I did when I was AF.

I find it very easy to NOT drink. I am rarely pre-occupied with the desire. When I do find myself wanting to drink, I take Nal and wait an hour. Often during the wait, the interest simply goes away but I always drink at least one for the curative purposes - sometimes reluctantly. I have several AF free days a week. I try to have two days consecutively to allow the Nal to wash out of my system. Once the Nal in washed out, I receive a rebound effect and where anything exciting is more exciting. That is a known phenomena and is a little dividend we experience from the growth of extra opioid receptors.

Now, make no doubt that I am still able to 0ver indulge and have. Nal has little to know aversion effect. If I drink hard liquor and cross the 4 drink line, I will probably end up over-indulging. If I drink only beer, that is almost impossible to do.

Another amusing observation is that if I take Nal and go out to purchase alcohol, I may come home empty-handed. It is like going grocery shopping right after eating a large meal. It is hard to feel interested in buying alcohol after I take Nal. What is more strange is that I am directed to drink after taking Nal for that is how the curing process works.

The difference between my life now and four months ago are unrecognizable. I go out with clients and never fear going out of control. What is different now is that drinking is not a very exciting activity anymore. If I go to Applebee's and order a tall beer, the last few gulps look like "just too much to swallow". That energy to "knock 'em down" just isn't there. I now understand that it was that "excitement" that made me an alcohol addict. I talk to my non-addicted wife and tell her how I now experience drinking and she says that that is how she does.

I now know what those people who used to say, "I can take it or leave it" meant. Once the addiction component is gone, drinking just isn't that big of a deal. The ultimate paradox is that now I can drink but have little desire to do so.

Do I miss that desire? Sometimes I feel a little disappointed in what a drink means to me. I will be in the hotel and think, "I am going out to a nice club and have a few". For a little while I will have that "off to the races" feeling and then I take my Nal and may find that I lost all interest in going out and may walk to the gas station next door and buy a 16oz. Coors, go back to the room, drink it and go to sleep. I guess I miss that hyper excitement some nights - but never in the morning.