Virginia, I'm following right behind you and I wish I had this clever or brilliant thing to say to you but I don't. I guess we're all in the same boat in waters that have never been tested and going blindly into it. You can't give up, keep going what's the alternative to tsm? People are getting free from this awful addiction!

You'll see tomorrow will look brighter than today.

corkit

virginia, hang in there. I am not sure I am seeing the minimal results. I see most people having tremendous results. The fact that they are not having blackouts, are able to social drink, are able to cut down significantly are great to me. When I think of the goal we are setting for normal drinking, 25, i really don't know too many what I would call normal drinkers that hit that goal.
Yes there do seem to be quite a few discouraging posts lately. Several of these are people with fewer than 3 months participating. several are from longer term people going thru major triggers, which is documented in the book as potential for spikes.
I am having what I cosider remarkable progress. Looking at my numbers, you might not think so but I would tell you different. My head is on right. As I stated in the past, if I could simply ride with these numbers, maybe a bit less, say 40, and no alcohol related incidents, I would consider it a cure. That, of course is just me.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Of course, I won't stop TSM because the alternatives of abstinence or heading back to the pit of alcoholism is not something I can deal with. I've noticed that every time I'm making real progress, the next week seems to throw me a curve ball whether it's one drinking session or a few. And there is a definite trend during the PMS time (TMI I know .... and historically, that time would always provoke a 'I'm going to get trashed and I don't care' attitude for 1 or 2 days. Time to stomp that trigger out...

Hmmmm, normal drinking... thought I knew what that was but maybe it's time to talk to some normal drinkers for the real deal.

Hey V --

Hang in there, you are doing great. It's a roller coaster and your past improvement is proof TSM works for you.

I should copy and paste the following for everyone who needs encouragement:

Focus on your improvement, not your frustration. If someone had told you that you could take a pill and gradually have more and more control over your drinking a year ago, you'd have thought you'd died and gone to heaven. Forget time frames, focus on the gradual reduction in consumption/cravings; focus on the daily improvement in your life. TSM works, but it takes a lot longer and might require a bit of effort on our parts. But it does work! Can you believe that?? A pill that reduces cravings and consumption?? Unbelievable! Hang in there.

My best,

Nick

Yeah Virginia,
I was going to start researching whatnormal drinking is. I guess I don't really know. It could be that the majority of my home town, at least the people I hung around with, are alcoholics?? Not sure. If you do do some talking make sure you write about it.

Hi Virginia
I decided that I am not going to think about the 3-4 month thing at all, and set my sites for more like 6-8, maybe that's where you're at too. My units have not changed that much and have even gone over per a few times, but thats life. Remember we are not to over think this. Just think what a great spring or summer I'll have. I can't remember a time I garden without some kind of buzz, I'm looking forward to it.
Hang in!

Week 20

This has been a learning experience - I've had 2 hangovers this week when I drank 4 - 5 drinks, even had brief black-outs. I am not used to my tolerance being so low... and the stupid thing is, I was fine after the first 2 drinks - had a buzz, didn't really crave more but the bottle was there or it was poured for me so I continued on... and paid the price. Once again, need to do more thinking and planning.. Another issue I'm having is feeling like I can have an AF day but then, just in case, I take the Nal and then feel obligated to drink and of course, having just 1 doesn't work quite yet. I'd like to feel more confident when my cravings are low to skip the Nal. The habit is a strong influence..

Some of the good.... becoming more confident in making plans without feeling upset or deprived if the plans mean I can't drink. Feel like each time I make a plan that I know I couldn't have done in the past, it's building a pathway in my brain. Oh, I made it to church 2 Sunday's in a row, that means I can make the 3rd Sunday and it's a true, strong plan, not a 'Oh, I'll plan it but have an escape route in case I'm hungover'. Went out to dinner and ordered ice tea (at an Italian restaurant!!!!) and felt fine about it. Had thought about taking Nal but just decided not to - wanted to see if I felt deprived at dinner.. actually didn't miss the wine at all.

The biggest change is losing the feeling of resentment when I can't drink. I'm no longer on pins and needles waiting the bottle to be opened. I think the next couple of months will show the biggest results. My weekly numbers haven't changed significantly but the scatter graph with my daily numbers show a nice downwards trend - though then I panic that I don't know how to correctly graph and it's a mistake

It's so great that so many people are seeing changes even if not in the 3 -4 months time frame. Without this board, I don't know if I would have recognized or given credit for the changes so far...scary to say that I may have given up and assumed the Nal didn't work. Maybe a lot of us would have given up....

Virginia

Great to hear it Virginia. Sound like good stuff. Try not to feel obligated to drink if you take your nal. Definitely take it if there is a possibility of giving in but you don't have to force yourself to drink. If you can make it AF all the better. Then as you become more confident about AF days you can not take the nal, just have one handy just in case.
Once again, I believe killing the al addiction first, then start the targeted part of it.

Congratulations Virginia! It sounds like you're realing making progress especially eating at an Italian restaurant having ice tea You're on your way and I'm following behind you.

corkit

Week 21

The total numbers aren't too high and had 2 AF days BUT felt like it was a bad week in terms of the AL just affecting me as if I was drinking high numbers. This in turn makes it hard for anyone around me to see progress. I'm not sure how closely my husband watches me but am pretty sure that he's just humoring me taking Nal at this point. We have discussed TSM when I was having a 'productive' week but then a bad week seems to follow.

It's a little disheartening to see posts not wanting to use the word 'cure' or accepting a lesser result than a cure. A cure is what I want... I know that's what everyone wants and it would be awesome to see a new batch of people declaring themselves cured.. (patience, I KNOW!!)

A cure for me will be when I can truly take or leave AL. And when I take it, it's a couple of drinks for simple relaxation and taste...none of the obsessive thoughts that currently go along with it. In a post long ago, I was grateful for the slow progress but I'm ready to speed it up now

Saw Nick's post about breaking the cycle and that's what I want... it just shows how powerful AL is to keep going in this destructive loop...