BGH,

If you read over the posts by SpringRider, one thing he said is that it's best to just take the Nal and drink and not overthink the process, especially in the beginning. It just sets you up for frustration and disappointment. Reminding myself of this now as I'm in the middle or hopefully the end of a spike period. Thought I might be reaching the 'cured' state by month 4 but it's not looking hopeful.. Hopefully by the holidays.

Week 16

Thankfully, the spike ended though there were no AF days. The last few days have resulted in leaving nearly full glasses of wine. I would have a drink to relax but once I felt a buzz building, I would stop, not liking that feeling at all. It is taking less alcohol to affect me so I am drinking even more slowly than before. My husband is now making my mixed drinks using half the alcohol (at my request). The urge to sneak anything is also disappearing. Always questioning, I wonder if this is really TSM or a normal reaction to wanting the high levels of craving and drinking to end. Also, not having an AF day or the power to see it through is still a big mental problem for me. Still far from the finish line.. 10 days to the 4 month line.. then that dreaded 3 months or so of holidays, families, vacations, year-end at work and the all-powerful triggers that come with it all. It's the true test of TSM.. ok, the stress bomb just went off in my head and I need a drink..

Week 17

Well, I think my cravings are getting more manageable. Had 3 days where I made the decision to not drink and it wasn't difficult. Just did it. The days that I did drink were planned and while I didn't drink to excess, it was more than I would have chosen, if I had been able to choose. Starting to really enjoy the feeling of not having Nal in my system, feel more energetic, alert, and in an overall good mood. Trying not to set myself up for disappointment but will try for 3 or 4 AF days this week. Was reading over the posts regarding habits and I think that is really playing a part in my drinking. Especially over the weekends. Last Sunday, I didn't drink and it was very satisfying to just read and hang out. Husband only had one drink and would definitely have had more if I was drinking with him.

Has anyone read the book Drinking, A Love Story by Carolyn Knapp? The details on how much work it is to hide alcoholism really resonated. So much effort put into maintaining the fiction that you don't have a problem and still get the quantities of alcohol that you need.. There were things mentioned that I've thought of doing and was clearly on the path to doing but hadn't yet crossed that line... such as keeping an extra bottle upstairs as 'security'. Every time I thought of doing that, I would tell myself, no that would mean you have a problem. If you don't do that, it's just using drinks to relax and have fun. It also showed how hard AA is and many people that the author knew did not recover. So looking forward to the day when TSM is mainstream treatment.

Virginia

I'm cheering you on Virginia for those 3 or 4 AF days. It definitely seems you're very close to the end of this bad dream. It gives the rest of us hope we'll be there someday too.

I so think that may be the case with myself as well....wonderful, jim
PS looking forward to my second AF day one of these days...only had one in 5 weeks....

Week 18

Well, Didn't make it to 3 AF days but my total drinks were less than 20 for the first time since starting this Adding a little more resolve to the mix and it's not putting me into a bad mood like it did prior to TSM. I crossed the 4 month line and feel like it will take a couple more months at this rate. Progress is slow and bumpy. My husband asked when are these pills going to work and it just shows how 'successful' I was at hiding the problem for him to not be aware of the multitude of changes. Mornings are a completely different animal now.. productive, alive, not wanting or needing to crawl back to bed. Now that I'm not spending time recovering, I really need to find more stuff to do. Was thinking that this was a blip but it's now going on a few weeks so it is time to make plans.

Sometimes drinking just seems like a big hassle...

Right on Virginia,,,....

"Sometimes drinking just seemslike a big hassle",...You are so nailing my feelings these days. Again these thoughts wouldn't be in my brain 6 months ago.....

I'm so sick of arguing with my wife,...she caught me with a 24 oz sierra Nevada (I can't ALWAYS drink Crud Light) and went ballistic...I held my ground but thankfully was only buzzed,...but I had to lie and say thats all I had....I was hoping to have a break through of sorts and have her say, well ok, if its only 2 then thats certainly an improvement. Which 6-7 drinks (the truth) is a HUGE improvement. Sorry to hijack your thread.....but full circle I repeat your insightful sentiment that at first read may not seem so:

"Sometimes drinking just seems like a big hassle" Bless You, Jim

Jim,

I'm sorry you're having these issues with your wife and hope that she can see the improvement soon. It's probably easier for her to assume this is a crock and that it won't work than to actually hope and fear disappointment. Will your wife accept safe drinking levels or is she wishing for abstinence?

Actually have the opposite issue with my husband - oh sure, he knew I would get drunk at times but he never knew the despair that comes from craving and fighting and feeling like crap and still craving and having it dominate your thoughts.. and waking up with guilt and hating myself. Even when I originally discussed the method with him, he was hesitant to admit that there was any problem. Drinking is a part of our routine and comfort zone..love to cook good food and have wine. My husband stops drinking when he wants - it's rare to see him out of control. I used to continue drinking in secret after dinner and it ruined many nights and mornings. Haven't done that for a while now. If I had been doing everything openly, he would have seen the real problem. When I'm cured, I may unlock the secrets and tell him everything... or not.

ABSTINENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AA, 12 steps, sponsor, like it used to be!!!!!!!!!!

"You had 4.5 years....you're an alkie you CAN"T DRINK!!!!!!!!!"

The reason this method is so attractive to me, its a chemical problem with probably a chemical cure.....we'll see if not I can always check back in with Bill W...he and I just aren't seeing eye to eye these days....

I believe it, and will do TSM...Good luck to you...take care, Jim

Just had 3 days of strong triggers and too much to drink and am feeling a little down. There seems to be quite a few posts lately from people doing this for a long time w/ minimal results. Very discouraging. Add that to the feeling of backsliding and optimism is fading. I need a stronger sign that this works. If there's no further progress, then I wouldn't consider this a success. Yes, some things have changed for the better but it's not enough.