Jim, I'm sorry that I haven't replied to your posts in the fullness many of them have deserved...too tied up in my own 'stuff' right now. But I enjoy every single one of your posts, and the energy and creativity you bring to the forum. Wishing you all the best on your journey, which I shall be following with great interest

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I'm so sorry I missed last week or two. Plus the site was down a few times i tried.

I thought it important to post, but from the posts, it seems as though our dear friend lo0p is having relationship problems...I am so sorry as I too am suffering within my marriage of almost 14 years. I don't know if we're gonna make it....We'll see I just feel that it would be quite ironic to get cured only to have my marriage end. I do have a great marriage counselor though...

My drinking has been relatively the same, I have little to no thoughts about it during the day, but since I have to hide my drinking at night, I gulp vodka. I'm sure if I were able to drink in the open, that would lessen. I can't drink beer in safety, so i can drink vodka and cranberry or whatever juice I want in the open......I would prefer having more beer and wine but I have to hide in my studio to do that which is what I do....

Saw my crazy shrink today,..she was almost nice...I won't fire her...she grimaced at the clock because I was 10 Minutes late....I told her I might want to add Campral if in another month, things are the same...I also told her I may be interested in upping my dosage (I don;t know if you know but I do 25 mg as my drinking is only in the evening).

The work has slowed down, being replaced by night club work that doesn't pay nearly as much.

I should note that I've had fewer blackouts, but the nights usually end up cloudy...I'm going to try adn add a little Marijuana as I've never really smoked it before (well as a musician,..maybe 50-100 times in my life...for a musician, that's never)....I'm not trying to be altered, but am just trying to figure it all out and that's one thing the AAers have over us....more structure and history....We're the Bill W's of this new method...I was hipped to the Orange papers which has the conspiracy AA stuff on it. Interesting,....

My buddy has been using Welbutrin,...He thinks it works for him...I may talk to the shrink about this.....your thoughts?

Other than that, my mood seems relatively good being that I may be getting a divorce at the top of the year and work is slowing....I guess, I just feel as though I'll be OK in the end. My prayers are with Lo0p. He's a great cat......Take care my friends, Jim

Hey Jim, I did just start a course of Wellbutrin, five days ago. In my biological family, siblings have have good success with it.
I have always relied on AL as my "drug of choice" but I now, as I too face the demise of my marriage, am diligently curbing my use of alcohol.
I have not had any bad side effects from the Wellbutrin, it is said to be a "mild" medicine.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with a psychiatrist to discuss the use of Naltexone in combination with Wellbutrin and AL.
If I forget to report back and you would like some info form my session, pm me or somehow let me know.
I responded to your ? about Dr E. so I hope that was helpful info.
Best, ART

Thanks so much...

Yes,..I think I might also try to speak to my shrink next month about Welbutrin.

One thing, they OD'd my pops on Welbutrin and he had a seizure...he had alzheimers as well but it probably didn't help...he's since passed...

I imagine they have better understanding of the drug etc...I've never taken an anti depressant,..they scare me,..but I am willing to try almost anything at this point..I'm even trying Marijuana again,..and I'm 44. Trying to be open minded...but as I said in the other post, I'm not trying to be altered,...but would love to find that happy naive balance..Where I am inspired artistically by a little Pot, drink socially and live happily ever after...my dream..who knows if it will ever come to fruition...take care, Jim

Hi Jim!

Good as ever to read your update even though you have your challenges right now. You sound pretty happy in yourself, all things considered, and you said your mood was pretty good, so why are you considering Wellbutrin? If someone really needs it I wouldn't ever try to talk them out of it, but if it's just a little bit of a 'boost' you feel you need there may be other, more natural things you could at least try first...just a thought.

I love your stories of playing. Love music. Always wanted to be a singer in a rock band (probably not alone there on this board!) but just never got around to even trying...lazy, procrastinating old me in the past as per usual (I am trying to change now, in fact I'm doing much better recently about being pro-active and assertive)

I'd love to hear your music some time if you ever cared to share some of it either here through the board, or privately

You don't really mention your units, are you counting them roughly? Any idea how much you're consuming compared to before the method?

I guess smoking pot at the same time as drinking will heighten your intoxication and you might drink less?

All the best to you Jim, wishing you well

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Jim,
I am sorry to hear your wife is still unsupportive. I wish she would get on your side.
About the pot thing, I'd be afraid I would start abusing that, I have in the past. It wasn't an addiction, I guess, as I was able to put it down without a big effort. It was still detrimental, at least in the quantities I was using. I guess in moderation.

Hi Jim, marriage is a complexed thing even when alcohol isn't involved, I'm married so I have some understanding in this. Lets face it we live in a fast food world and we want it now and it's hard to look down the road with a lot of bumps, so I can understand where she's coming from. She's acting out of frustration not knowing how to rectify the situation and probably worried about you which leads to anger. I have been all around the circle so many times, but I'm part of that circle too which it seems she is not. You need to get keep going to get cured which is the best answer to her fears, put the blinders on and keep doing the tsm and in the end it will work itself out. You'll see when she begins to see the change in you it will give her hope.

Hang in there "Jim." I remember not long ago when my ex was ragging me for trying TSM, claiming it was just an excuse to keep on drinking. Then last Friday I ran into her at a bar and I was stone sober and she was tipsy. It gave me great satisfaction to show her with action (and not just words) that I was now under way more control than she was... Anyway, with success comes credibility. Pretty soon your drinking will be more controlled and the proof will be in the pudding and she will see for herself that TSM works. She is just one of about 350 million skeptics in this country who will soon discover that everything they've been taught about alcoholism is no longer true.

My best,

Nick

Thanks everybody,

All of your comments are duly noted and I agree Nick, when I was sober for those 4.5 years, the actions speak louder than words is amazing how it begins to cure things....

My wife seems in good spirits today,...Maybe one day I'll get to move back into the bedroom. At the very least, if I keep making this kind of progress,...I am all to ready for a spike though but at least as of now, I don't feel it happening but then again I've only had 1 AF day since starting.....

I watched Sideways last night. It was great, of course I had some wine but all in all my units last night were 3/4 bottle and one large martini and a gulp of vodka straight. I honestly felt ok about that. No blackout, flossed my teeth, almost bled to death as I haven't been flossing as of the past for obvious reasons. Woke up felt great, took the cat to the vet who almost died 4-5 months ago, and she seems ok. She's elderly, 13 or 14, but blood cell count up and $4000 later, a happy kitty. I call her the furry Saab as thats how much the used Saab I got cost..

I'm off to entertain at an old folks home. I play Name that tune with them,..they love that...ok take care,,..will check in tonight...BEst, Jim

Just love that about flossing. I got bad news at the dentist last night, so I'll be on a flossing frenzy from now on. But seriously Jim, see if your wife will read the spouse letter written by Goin4More when she's in a good mood. It's very powerful, and just might turn her attitude around... I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.